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Married to the Mob Boss

 

 

SETTING: A cozy little apartment building. The camera goes inside apartment 78, home of Zachary Smart. The phone is ringing in the background and Zach is quickly coming down the stairs to answer it.

He walks over to a table behind the couch, where the phone is. Zach looks around, then goes over to one of the plants on the table. He picks up two leafs and puts one to his ear and the other at his mouth.

Zach: Hello.

Female Voice: Is this Zachary Smart, the secret agent?

Zach: This is Zachary Smart, but what makes you think I’m a secret agent?

FV: I’ve been following you, Mr. Smart, and twice today I’ve seen you talk into your shoe, to a horse,
and then later I saw you talk into an ice cream cone.

Zach: I like to be conversive with people and all things, but that hardly makes me a spy.

FV: Mr. Smart, I’m in terrible danger! I need to speak with you right away. I’m coming up to your apartment.

Zach: Now, wait a minute…

Before Zach could finish, the line went dead. He hung up his plant phone and walked to the door. Just then, the door opened wide and a beautiful woman rushed into the room.

Woman: Quick! Close the door.

Zach: [looks at woman, then at camera] I never get tired of this job. [closes door]

Woman: Mr. Smart?

Zach: [walks over to woman] You tell me. Do you usually make a habit of barging in to other people’s apartments or am I just special?

Woman: It’s imperative that I talk to you, but not now. I will call you on your shoe.

Zach: You can’t. I have a private, unlisted number.

Woman: I know. I got it from the operator. It is 371-5956, isn’t it?

Zach: [sighs] That’s it.

Woman: Then I’ll call you within the hour. [leaves]

Zach: [to self] Never fails. Men are always driving their women to me.

 

 

THE NEW OPENING CREDITS OF GET SMART!!

 

 

SETTING: CONTROL headquarters, the office of Chief Maxwell Smart. Zach, his sister Maxine, Agent 66, Max, and Agent 99 stood in the office, as Zach told them how his day was going.

Max: Did you get a look at the woman’s face?

Zach: Well, Dad, you know I’m really fuzzy on faces. That wasn’t one of my strong subjects in spy school. Let’s see, she was about 5’7, long black hair, beautiful brown eyes, 24-32-24 measurements, red luscious lips…oh and she had this huge pair of…

66: That’ll be enough of that, thank you!

Zach: [looking at her] Binoculars.

66: Everyone has their little word for ‘em.

Zach: [looks at 66] No, I mean she had a pair of binoculars around her neck. I told you, she’d been watching me.

Max: Well, at least you saw her face.

Zach: I can describe her from the back too.

Max: You don’t have to.

Zach: Really, I don’t mind. [look from 99]

Maxine: Did you get her name?

Zach: No, but she said she would call to set up another meeting. [shoe phone starts to ring] That may be her now. [answers it] Smart, here.

FV: Mr. Smart.

Zach: You. We were just talking about you.

FV: I need to meet with you. The coffee bar on Harrington.

Zach: I know the place. I can be there in 15 minutes. [line goes dead][hangs up] That was her. She wants me to her at the coffee bar on Harrington.

66: You’re going alone?

Zach: [putting shoe back on] I don’t see why not. I’m a big boy now.

Max: She’s right, Zach. You might be walking into a trap.

Zach: Dad, as a sophisticated agent, I’m always on guard. No one gets the drop on Zachary Smart. [takes out shades on puts them on] I’ll be my charming, alert, highly intelligent self.

Zach turns to go and bumps into the chair behind him. He runs into the arm and trips over and falls to the ground. He quickly gets up, dusts himself off, and regains his composure. He walks out the door and when the door closes behind him, he winces in pain, rubbing his right thigh. Inside the office, looks of despair go around.

The scene switches to a coffee shop on the corner of Harrington and Bach. Zach walks in, removes his shades, and starts to walk to the bar. He sees the woman he met earlier already there, reading a newspaper. He, too, grabs a newspaper, and sits down beside her. Every time he turned a page, she turned a page.

Zach: [reading paper] I see you’ve done the paper chase before.

The woman folds her paper and walks over to a section room in the bar. Zach also folds his paper and follows her. In the doorway of the room are Oriental beads and Zach walks through them. He sees the woman at a far table in the back and he goes to join her.

Zach: So we meet again, gorgeous. You’ve yet to tell me your name.

Woman: It’s Gina. Gina Vendutta.

Zach: [taking her hand] Well, Gina, now that we’re properly acquainted, what are you doing tonight at about eight o’clock?

Gina: Doesn’t the name mean anything to you? I’m the wife of Vincent Vendutta, the mob boss.

Zach: [lets her hand go] Well. This is will be more trouble then I thought.

Gina: What do you mean?

Zach: I’ve never dated a married woman before.

Gina: Mr. Smart! My husband is Vinnie Vendutta!

Zach: Wait, Vinnie Vendutta? Vinnie “The Vulture” Vendutta?

Gina: Yes.

Zach: Wow, that’s high stakes. But what does this have to do with me?

Gina: I recently saw a hit my husband made. I didn’t mean to, I just walked in. Anyway, he’s put a contract on my life.

Zach: That is very unfortunate, but I still don’t see the connection.

Gina: I have reason to believe that Vinnie has contacted the evil organization called KAOS to get rid of me.

Zach: Now, that’s of some interest. Why do you suspect that?

Gina: I’ve had reason to believe that Vinnie’s been involved with KAOS for awhile, but couldn’t really prove it, until the other night when I saw the hit. Vinnie has had more personal lately and some of them
aren’t the regular guys, you know. Well, I knew I needed to get help and I found you.

Zach: You mean, you followed me.

Gina: I had to. I was being followed myself. I think I might still be.

Zach: By KAOS.

Gina: Right.

Zach: Listen, Gina, you might be a government witness to not only put your husband in jail for a long time, but you also might be able to blow the top off of KAOS. But first we have to get you out of here, without being suspicious. Come on.

They walked calmly to the entrance doorway. Gina led and waited for Zach to come through the beaded entrance. Zach took his hand and moved one side of the beads. The instantly fell off of their strings and onto the floor.

Undaunted, Zach attempted the same thing with the other hand and the same thing happened. He walked out and went over to Gina, who had her hand over her face and was looking down at the floor.

Zach: Now, the important thing is not to arouse any suspicion.

They left the coffee bar and quickly got to Zach’s car. They got in and took off.

Gina: Where are we going?

Zach: The only safe place I can think of, CONTROL headquarters. My dad will know what to do.

They continue to drive, when Gina notices a black sedan darting in and out of traffic.

Gina: [panic] Mr. Smart, look at that car! It’s them! They’re after us!

Zach: Now, just calm down. You’re jumping to conclusions.

Gina: But they’re trying to catch up to us. They’re darting in and out of traffic!

Zach: Now, an ordinary person with your ordinary sense of things would say that, but I, as a trained government agent, can tell you that it’s just random driving. It’s probably a couple of kids fooling around with their dad’s car. I did that once myself. Don’t tell anybody, but when I first got my license…

Gina: [screaming] They’re coming closer!

Zach: Do you mind? Not only did you interrupt me when I was telling a story, but you screamed in my ear. Now, as I was saying…

The black sedan was causing several cars off the road in their pursuit to catch Zach’s black firebird.

Gina: They’re running cars off the road! They’re going to kill us, I tell you!

Zach:[annoyed] And I’m telling you that it’s normal Washington behavior!

The black sedan was closer to the car now. Just then, a bullet whizzed through Zach’s window and hit the top of the dash board.

Gina: Is that normal Washington behavior?!?

Zach: Nooooo…off hand, I’d have to say it’s not, but there could be reasoning circumstances that would explain this.

Another bullet whizzed by, missing Zach’s head by inches.

Zach: And that explanation is they’re trying to kill us.

Zach instantly put the pedal to the metal and quickly darted in to traffic. The black sedan did the same.

Zach: Hold on. I’m going to try and lose them.

Zach made a swift right on to Grover Highway and then made a left on Tuttle. The black sedan quickly followed. Zach then made another left on Savoy Dr. and then made a right, then a left and the another left on Broadway, Campbell, and Russo.

He then made a swift right on Blake and took a back alley to 34th. He stopped the car and told Gina to duck down and he did the same. The black sedan continued down Blake and didn’t even see the firebird. When he thought it was safe, Zach and Gina sat up and looked behind them.

Zach: I think we lost them. [lifts off steering cover to reveal a large rotary phone]

Gina: [in amazement] What are you doing?

Zach: I’m calling headquarters.

Gina: On your steering wheel?!

Zach: It’s a state of the art steering wheel phone.

From the horn, Zach lifted out a receiver and put it to his ear. He then started to dial CONTROL headquarters.

Zach: hello, Dad? Zach. I’ve met with the woman. Her name is Gina Vendutta,
Vinnie “the Vulture” Vendutta’s wife. After we left the coffee bar, we were pursued by two men in a late
80’s black sedan. Yes, we lost them.

Zach: I’m bringing Gina down to CONTROL headquarters, I thought that would be the safest place for now until we come up with something. Yes, sir. Oh, Dad, by the way… we took so many turns to get rid of that car that I…well, I’ve seem to have lost my way. [pause] Well, we’re in a little back alley I took from Blake Rd. [pause] Uh-huh, take Blake to Mountain, right… go over the under pass…oh, what’s that? Oh, UNDER the OVER pass. Right, gotcha…

 

******COMMERCIAL BREAK******

 

SETTING: CONTROL headquarters. Zach had brought Gina to his dad’s office.

Max: Gina, I don’t think you know the great importance of what you’re doing. Your husband is a cold, calculating, dirty handed, criminal individual.

Gina: You make it seem as though that’s a bad thing.

Max: [about to speak, stops, and looks at Gina] Gina, what you’re doing is helping the United States government put away the criminals we’re put in charge to do.

Gina: But Mr. Smart, how will you put Vinnie in jail? I’m your only witness and knowing Vinnie, he’ll try something to discredit me.

Max: I’ve already taken care of that. [on intercom] Trudi, could you bring in that film.

Trudi: I’ll need some, sir.

Max: Help? Why?

Trudi: Well, the desk is awfully heavy and I’m pretty little compared to the weight of the desk.

Zach: I’ll help you, Trudi.

Max: [to Zach] What for? [to Trudi, rather annoyed] Trudi, I want you bring in the film on your desk.
Not the desk, just the film. Do you think you can handle that?

Trudi: Oh, yeah, sure, Chief. The film’s really light.

Max: One day, I’m going to fire that girl. [Trudi walks in with film] [taking film] This film is of the Towers mob family. They have pretty strong connections. Maybe if we enlist their help.

Zach: Dad, are you actually considering enlisting help from the mob?

Max: Well, so far, that’s the best plan I can come up with, unless of course, you have a better plan.

Zach: As a matter of fact, I do. See, first we barge into the headquarters of the Vulture, right? Then,
we very nicely and politely, ask him to take the contract off.

Max: [looks at Zach] Zach, that has the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard you come up with.

Zach: It is?

Max: Yes! And besides, we already tried that and it didn’t work.

Zach: Were you nice about it?

Max: Very! And polite too!

Gina: What happened?

Max: Basically, he told me what I could do with my niceness and politeness.

Zach: What he say?

Max: I’d rather not repeat it. Anyways, I figure with the Towers mob being as close as we can get to the Vulture, I thought I’d try it.

Max picks up the film and goes over to the wall. He pushes a button and the wall rises to reveal a large screen TV. Underneath, was a VCR and Max popped the tape in and it started to play.

On the tape were basic profiles of the Towers mob family: Max Towers, the head of the family, his wife,
Melissa Towers, their only son Tommy, his girlfriend Dill Pickel, Tommy’s right hand man, David “Lefty”
Lucky, and his cousin, Penelope “Penny” Miller.

The gang was seen through their many escapades as criminals and basic recreations of the James gang and Bonnie and Clyde. When the movie was over, Maxine and 66 had entered the room.

Maxine: Dad, their might be a bit a… snag in that plan of yours.

Max: Why?

66: The Towers mob have been in jail for the last 5 years.

Max: [sighs] Why am I always the last to know? I’m in charge and yet I seem to be the last to know EVERYTHING! I mean, throw me a bone people!

Gina: Now what will we do?

Zach: Well, the first thing is hid you some place safe.

Max: I have just the place.

Zach: Where?

Max: Your apartment.

Zach: My WHAT?

Maxine: Apartment. The place where you reside.

Zach: [looks at Maxine] [to Max] Why my apartment?

Max: Where else can we put her that safe?

Zach: I know, how ‘bout Max’s apartment. Gina can stay with her and 66 can stay with me.

66: That’s a terrible plan!

Zach: What part?

66: All of it!

Zach: Well…[points to Max] what about your house? [Max shakes his head, mouthing no]

Max: Zach, she stays with you. At least this way, you’ll be with her and if anything goes wrong, you can call. Don’t worry.

The scene switches to Zach’s apartment. He and Gina were about go out to get a bit to eat for lunch. Zach looked at the window, cautiously. When he didn’t see anyone on the street that looked suspiciously, he told Gina it was safe.

They walked out the front door and went downstairs to the lobby floor. As they opened the door, machine
gun shots quickly flew from everywhere. Gina quickly got down on the floor, while Zach danced around for a while before closing the door.

Zach: Back upstairs.

The two quickly went back upstairs to Zach’s apartment and closed the door. The two ran upstairs, into Zach’s bedroom and quickly closed the door. Zach quickly rushed over to the wall and opened a hidden panel. Inside was his very dire emergency phone.

Gina: What’s that?

Zach: My wall phone. I only use it when I’m in a dire emergency.

Gina: I think this counts as one.

Zach: Well, that’s why I’m using it. [to phone] Hello, operator? Yes, now listen and listen to me carefully. This is a dire emergency and I need you to get a number for me. This is a very important number. It’s also a very top secret number, so I want you to forget it once I tell it to you. The number’s 327-9435.

Operator: I’m sorry, sir. Could you repeat that? I forgot the number like you told me too.

Zach: Operator, are you by any chance related to a Trudi Smothers?

Operator: You know Trudi? She happens to be a cousin of mine.

Zach: I thought so. Listen, operator, could you just dial this number? The number’s 327-9435.

Operator: Oh, that’s the number for CONTROL! Why didn’t you say so? My cousin, Trudi, works there! Just a minute, sir.

Zach: Hello? CONTROL? This is Zachary Smart, Agent 78. Put my in contact with the Chief. Hello? Dad? This is Zach. Your little plan with keeping Gina here has back fired. We were just shot
at. [pause]

Zach: What do you mean “Just as you figured”? Dad, lately it seems as though you’ve been hiding really important things from me. I count this as one of them. [pause] Alright. We’ll be down there. [hangs up] [to Gina] He says he wants us down at headquarters.

Gina: How’re we supposed to get there? We’re stuck here and there are machine gun toting criminals out
there waiting for us to come out.

Zach: very simply. We’ll take the secret agent’s secret entrance out.

Gina: The secret agent’s secret entrance?

Zach: Back entrance, actually. You really wouldn’t believe how many government agents live in this building. Come on.

They leave Zach’s apartment and go into the broom closet outside in the hall. Zach pulls a hidden lever
and instantly, they’re propelled outside into the parking lot.

Gina: That was incredible! How many people know about that?

Zach: Only the secret agents. That’s why it’s called the secret agent’s secret entrance and not the ‘every tenant for himself’ entrance. Come on.

The two make a mad dash for Zach’s car and speed out into the street. Within minutes, they are once again at CONTROL headquarters and in the Chief’s office. In the office already was Max, 99, Maxine, 66, and Dr. Austin Parker.

Max: I have another plan. This one’s even better than my last plan. Gina, you’re going in to hiding. Very shortly, an agent is going to escort you to safety in another part of town. [the door opens and outside stands another agent] In fact, there is he is now. If you’ll just follow him.

Gina: Well, it was nice meeting you all. [leaves]

Zach: Well, how do you like that! I didn’t even get a goodbye. Well, I guess that’s how the mob wife
crumbles. What’s your plan, Pop?

Max: Very simply. We’re going over to The Vulture’s place. I found out he runs a club just a mile outside Washington.

Zach: But, Dad, I thought you tried the nice and polite trick and it didn’t work.

Max: Yeah, but this plan will work.

The scene switches to the Billiard Club. The place is pretty full with people gambling and watching the entertainment. It was really a place out of the roaring 20’s.

The place was still jumping when a group of six people walked in. Just by their appearance, they seemed
to be a part of the mob scene, but with a slight difference. They were Team Smart in disguise!

 

******COMMERCIAL BREAK******

 

SETTING: The Billiard Club. Team Smart had just walked in as the Towers mob. A waiter saw them enter
the club and quickly went over to them.

Waiter: May I help, sir?

Max: [in Bogart accent] Yeah, you can take my coat and point me in the direction of the manager’s office.

Waiter: Is it a matter of the service, sir?

Max: Nothing of that. I just like talking to managers. Which way?

The waiter pointed them in the way of the back offices. The group went to the center office, but were stopped by a bouncer at the door.

Bouncer: Who are you and what do you want?

Zach: [holding his father back with one hand] Let me handle this, Pop.

Zach took a stance in front of the guard and stared him down. Before you knew it, Zach had slapped him,
making the bouncer reel back against the door. Zach then began to punch the man. He stopped after the man was partially on the floor.

Zach: [in Cagney agent]Stand up, you mug! [man stands up] Don’t know who we are, huh? You happen to be in the presence of the one and only Towers mob.

Bouncer: [surprised] The Towers mob?

Zach: Yeah. Now go in there and tell your boss he’s kept us waiting long enough. [bouncer goes inside]

Max: [normal voice] Zach, I didn’t know you could do James Cagney.

Zach: Think that’s good, you should hear my Edward G. Robinson.

The door opens and there stands Vinnie “the Vulture” Vendutta.

Vulture: Please, Mr. Towers, come in. Come in. [they enter] Please forgive my numb skull brother Anthony for not recognizing you at first. Please, have a seat. [they sit] Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vincent Vendutta, but my friends call me Vulture.

Max: [Bogey voice] Well, I’m Max Towers. This is my wife, Missy. That’s Lefty Lucky, his cousin Penny Miller. Over here is my son, Tommy, and his girlfriend, Dill. Now, that everyone’s been properly introduced, let’s say we sit down and get down to business.

Vulture: You are sitting down.

Max: Don’t change the subject. There’s a reason I called you, Vulture. It’s about this KAOS thing.

Vulture: So you’ve heard already.

99: Yes. Exactly what do you have planned with KAOS?

Vulture: Why are you interested?

Zach: [Cagney] If this is cutting into our territory, we should know. Or of course, if we’d like to be involved in some way.

Vulture: [smiles] KAOS, the secret organization of evil is doing me a slight favor.

Max: What kind of favor?

Vulture: They’re going to kill my wife.

Parker: That’s a bit drastic. Couldn’t you just divorce her?

Vulture: Nothing like that. But, lets just say, in return, I’ll be helping KAOS when I can.

Max: That’s a pretty tall order. How much are you paying for the job?

Vulture: A lot. More than you can imagine. But I have a bit of a problem, so I’m glad you came to see me.

Max: Why’s that?

Vulture: I’ve got a problem named Smart. It’s really a KAOS problem, but my wife’s decided she wanted
help and turned to them for it.

Zach: Smart. I think I’ve heard of them. They work for CONTROL, right?

Vulture: Right. They’ve been meddling in my business all day today. If I ever see that bothersome Smart kid…

Max: Just out of curiosity, what…would you do?

Vulture: I’d take that Maxwell Smart and gouge his eyes out with a fork. The I’d tie him to a canon and put a hole in him the size of Texas.

Max: [clearing throat] That’s a bit drastic don’t you think?

Vulture: You think that’s bad, you should hear what I’ll do to that son of his.

Zach: What would you do? Just out of curiosity, of course.

Vulture: I’d take Zachary Smart and dip him acid. Then, right before he’s burned to a crisp, I’d take him and tear his heart out with my bare hands!

Zach: [gulping][In a rather high pitched voice] My, that sounds painful.

Vulture: It is. I’ve only done it once, but it was really messy.

66: You wouldn’t do anything to the…women of the group, right? This is…purely about those Smart guys, right? [guys look at her]

Vulture: Of course not! I may be a cold blooded killer, but I’m a gentlemen. I’d just get Angela.

Maxine: Angela? Who…who’s Angela?

On hearing her name, a big, burly woman walks from another door in the room. Everyone in the Towers mob
is greatly influenced by her presence.

Vulture: That’s Angela. I once saw her rip a woman’s spine out through her nose.

99: [gulping] She’s a big girl.

Maxine: A very big girl.

Vulture: Look, I’ve got to handle a couple of things in the club, but make yourselves comfortable while we’re gone. When we come back, maybe we can discuss what we can do with the Smarts.

Vendutta and his gang start to leave. As they go, Vinnie turns to the Towers mob and starts laughing. The mob starts to laugh too, until Vinnie leaves, then they start to cry.

Zach: We’re all gonna die!

Max: Now, wait. Wait a minute. What are we? CONTROL agents or mice?

99: Technically, I’m not a CONTROL agent anymore, Max.

Max: This no time to get technical, 99. I mean, in the spirited tense. [pause] And technically, yes you are, cause I reinstated you. Anniversary present, remember?

99: Well, then I’d like to be un-reinstated for the time being.

Max: Well, that’s rude. I gave that present from my heart!

66: Wait, I wanna be un-resinstated too.

Max: No. Now, stop it. [to 99] Look what you’ve started. [to everyone] Everyone calm down. Now, I’m serious. CONTROL agents or mice?

Zach: [crying] Mice!

Max: [also crying] I just wanted to make sure we were all in agreement.

99: Wait a minute. We do have a duty and we should do it. Well, you should do it because…I’ve resigned.

Max: [sniffing] Stop being an Indian giver, 99. But you’re right, of course. First things first. We have to find out exactly what the Vulture has in plans for KAOS. Start searching everywhere.

The team split up and start looking around the room, looking for anything. Parker starts looking through the desk that the Vulture sat at and discovers a list of shipment dates and places.

Parker: [looking at paper] Look at this! [Maxine comes over] This is a list of all the Naval weapons being shipped in and out of the country. There’s an X marked next to the US Plymouth.

66: The US Plymouth? Wasn’t that the Navy ship that was robbed like last week?

Zach: Well, that must mean that KAOS has hired Vulture to steal weapons from passing government. Do you what this means?

99: If the mob is working along side KAOS, they’d be a virtual team of destruction! Even the US government can’t withstand something like that! Max, what’re we going to do?

Max: Now, listen, gang. Don’t panic. All we need is a highly intelligent plan to stop this plot and then get out of here without a scratch. Now, the only question is…who’s got a highly intelligent plan that will stop this plot and get us out of here without a scratch?

Just then, the door from the club opened and Vulture and his cohorts had returned.

Vulture: I see you’re still here.

Zach: [Cagney] Why wouldn’t we be?

Vulture: For some strange reason, people seem to think you’re in prison.

Max: [Bogart] Now that is ridiculous. How can we be in jail and be standing here talking to you?

Anthony: Maybe you’re not the real Towers mob.

99: [laughs] If we weren’t the real Towers mob, who would we be?

Vulture: You tell me. I just got a report saying the Towers mob have been in jail for the past five years. So, the question is who are you?

66: I’m telling you, Vulture, we’re the real Towers mob. The Towers mob in jail are the fake Towers mob. See, we found out that this group was posing as the Towers mob and were going to come down and make you think they were the real Towers mob, when in reality we’re the real Towers mob, but why would you
think we’d be the real Towers mob when there’s a fake Towers mob claiming to be the real Towers mob, but they’re not, they’re the fake Towers mob because we’re the real Towers mob. Get it? [everyone looks at her] What?

Parker: I’m just wondering how Zachary Smart got possession of your brain.

Vulture: I don’t think I got the whole gist of that. Could you repeat it?

66: I highly doubt it.

Angela: [from the club] Boss! I just heard from Carlo. The Towers mob, the REAL Towers mob is sitting comfortably in jail, awaiting a death row sentence.

Vulture: Well, [taking out gun] It seems as though our guests are impostors after all.

Zach: Excuse me, but could you give us a fair chance to run past you, through the front door, to a phone booth, call the authorities and then have you arrested?

Vulture: No.

Max: Okay. How bout this: You let us go, we call the police, and have you arrested where you’ll sit in
a jail cell next to the real Towers mob.

Anthony: What’s the difference?

99: You get to see the real Towers mob?

Vulture: Enough! If you’ll just turn to your lefts and go through that door there, we’ll make this as painful as possible.

Maxine: Don’t you mean painless? You do mean painless, right?

Vulture: Move!

The team was lead into the back room of the office.

Parker: This may be a stupid question, but what exactly are you going to do with us?

Vulture: Simple. I’m going to kill you.

Parker: [nods] I knew it was a stupid question.

Zach: Wouldn’t you rather just give us a strict warning?

Vulture: No.

66: Wouldn’t you like to know who you’ll be killing?

Vulture: You’re Team Smart.

Zach: So you know.

Vulture: I had my suspicions, but now I know you really are who I thought you would be. This will be a
pleasure.

Just as the Vulture raised his gun to shoot Zach, a shot rings out.

Voice: Drop the gun, Vinnie.

Everyone turns to look for the voice and where it came from and they see Gina, gun in hand pointed at Vinnie.

 

******COMMERCIAL BREAK******

 

SETTING: The back of the Vulture’s office. Gina stood in the doorway in which TS was escorted through. She had a gun in her hand and had it pointed directly at the Vulture and his cronies.

Zach: Good work, Gina! [to Vulture] I’ll just be taking your gun, Vulture.

Gina: [turning gun on Zach] No you won’t Smart. Make one move for the gun and I’ll put six bullets in your body. [to Vulture] Drop that gun! [Vulture drops gun]

Zach: [confused] Gina, in case you’ve forgotten, we’re the good guys. You don’t have to point the gun at us.

Gina: You are as dumb as you look, Smart.

Zach: I really resent that.

Gina: I can’t believe you fell for that act, Smart.

Zach: Of course! The ole damsel in distress, fake like you’re interested, double cross. I’m always falling for this trick!

Gina: I was using you to get to Vinnie. You see, it was bad enough when Vinnie and his stooges had to muscle in to my weapons high-jacking, then he’s got to put a contract on me.

99: So, you’re the one who’s really behind the Naval weapons robbery.

Zach: that means you’re really a KAOS agent!

Gina: Too bad you’re not as quick on your feet as you are at trying to pick up women.

Zach: You make it sound as though that’s a bad thing.

Max: Technically, at this moment in time, Zach, it is a bad thing. [to Gina] Well, Gina, I hate to disappoint you, but you might as well give up because at this exact moment…

Gina: Forget it, Smart. Whatever it is, it probably isn’t true, so I’ll pass on the would you believes.

Max: [annoyed] I wasn’t going to tell you that anyway. I had something different to tell you, but never
mind now. I don’t want to tell you any more.

Gina: First, I’m going to kill the Vulture and his boys. And Angela. Then, I’m going to kill you and your friends, Mr. Smart.

66: Gina, before you kill us, I’d like to ask for a last request.

Gina: What do you think is? An old fashioned movie? I don’t give last requests.

Maxine: If you were a lady, you would.

Gina: Fine. What’s your request?

66: Well, it’s just that a couple of weeks ago, I borrowed a pen from Zachary Smart and I’d like to return it.

Zach: THAT’S A LAST REQUEST?!

Gina: he’s right. What kind of request is that?

66: It’s the principle of the matter! I’d feel bad if I kept it.

Zach: [annoyed] really, 66. Keep the pen. I don’t care. I really never liked it anyway.

66: [taking out a pen] No, Zach. I really think you should have it back.

Gina: take the stupid pen!

Zach: [takes pen from 66][sarcastically] yes, well, I’ve got my pen back. I guess I can die a happy man. [looks at pen] hey wait a minute! This no ordinary pen! [to Vulture and Gina] Alright! Stand back!

Gina: What are you talking about?

Zach: This happens to be Dr. Parker’s nitro-pen. The pen casing is filled entirely with nitroglycerin.
One move and I’ll activate the button that controls the juice.

Instantly, Gina dropped her gun and stood away from the door. The team started to walk over to the door, when Parker noticed something.

Parker: Hey, Zach, wait a minute…

Zach: [to Vulture and Gina] I hate to do this, but for the sake of mankind and all that’s good, I’ll
have to destroy you. Adios!

Zach pushes the pen top. The only thing that happens is ink comes out and spatters all over Vulture, his gang, and Gina.

Zach: [to Parker] Parker, what was it you were going to tell me?

Parker: That’s not the nitro-pen.

Zach: Hmmm…[looks at 66]

66: Oops.

The team decides to run. Gina starts to follow, but 66 punches her and she falls backwards into Vulture
and his gang. The team run out into the club and instantly hear gunshots behind them.

Then, before they reach the front door, hundreds of CONTROL burst through the door, being led by Agent 22.

Max: 22! What’re you doing here?

22: The President didn’t like the looks of this place and when he found out Vinnie “the Vulture” Vendutta was running it, he decided we should shut it down and arrest the owners.

Maxine: I don’t think that will be necessary.

Apparently, the shots they heard behind them weren’t for them, but between Vinnie, his gang, and Gina. Everyone lay on the floor, near death. TS rush over and talks to the Vulture.

Zach: Vinnie? What happened?

Vulture: Gina decided she wouldn’t to go after you first, but we decided we would go first, and then…

Max: Vulture, don’t talk. Save your strength. [rolls his eyes at his comment]

Vulture: Listen, you guys, I just wanted to say…at least to Zachary…

Zach: What is it, Vulture?

Vulture: You have…you have…the worst impression of James Cagney, I’ve ever heard. [dies]

Zach: [looks at Vulture, then camera] If he wasn’t dead, I’d kill him. [Max, 99, and 66 look at each other. Parker, Zach, and Maxine look at camera]

 

 

THE ENDING CREDITS FOR GET SMART!!!

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