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Mycho

 

 

 

Setting: A dark and stormy night. The camera shows the road slick with rain and an approaching car coming down the road. Inside the car, Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart drove to a destination unknown to us. They are trying to see out the window and are looking at a map as they go.

Max: What’s the map say now, 99?

99: Well, we passed the little farmhouse, right?

Max: Right.

99: And we just passed the seventh Circle K, right?

Max: Right.

99: And we’re about to approach a sign that says “Mom’s Diner, next stop&quot

Max: Just passed it, 99.

99: Then we’re on our way.

Max: To the hotel?

99: To New Hampshire.

Max: [looks at her] Really?

99: Really.

The car stops and Max quickly turns around.

Max: Who’s idea was it to have this thing?

99: The head of the Secret Agent of America Committee.

Max: And who’s idea was it to have it at the Wyatt Hotel?

99: The father of the head of the CONTROL Agent Guild.

Max: Who’s the head of the CONTROL Agent Guild?

99: Zachary Smart.

Max: [knowingly] Who’s his father.

Max & 99: [in unison] You are, Max.

Max: Well, you have to admit, it was a good idea. That way we could have really great food and a really good place to stay. Remember last year’s banquet? At that barn? I was quarantined for two weeks for cowpox. Agent 22 thought he was dying of Swine Fever. I think I made a good choice this year.

99: So do I. But the real trick is trying to find it.

Max: Well, it’s not my fault the only Wyatt Hotel is 20 miles out of town. It’ll be like a vacation.

99: If we ever get there.

The couple drove on and after about twenty more minutes, the car started making funny noises. It finally rolled to a stop outside of a small motel.

Max: [looking at instruments] Out of gas. I knew I should’ve filled up back there at the seventh Circle K.

99: Well, what do we now, Max?

Max: [looking around] Maybe we can stay the night at that motel there. Then, get up early tomorrow, get gas, and leave and be at the banquet before presentations. What’s the name of that motel, 99?

Both look at the window at the large neon sign, blinking away in the night. It read CATES MOTEL.

 

The New Opening Credits of Get Smart!!

 

 

Setting: A small motel off the road. A large house on the hill by the motel made it seem bigger, though the house overshadowed the motel extremely. Max and 99 stood at the door of the motel, looking to see if anyone was there. Max soon opened the door, just to get out of the rain and rang the bell. The two waited for a few minutes before a young man came to the counter. He was medium, skinny, with black hair and small beady eyes.

Man: Hi. Quite a storm outside, isn’t it?

Max: Like you wouldn’t believe.

Man: Oh, I’d believe it. How may I help you?

Max: Our car ran out of gas just outside and we were wondering if we could stay here for the night, then get gas in the morning.

Man: Sure. Um…there’s a gas station right behind the motel here. I’ll have you checked in and then call over and tell them your problem.

99: That’s very nice of you, Mister…

Man: Cates. Mycho Cates. I live here with my mother.

Max: Is that your house next door?

Cates: Yes, sir. My mother’s sleeping right now. She’s at that age, but I don’t want to send her away. So, she stays here and I look after her. And our motel. [goes and gets a key] [ comes back and looks at registry] Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. [looks at Max] That’s you?

Max: Well, I’m Mr. Smart and she’s my wife.

Cates: [hands Max the key] Well, here you go, Mr. Smart. Room number 7. Lucky seven. It’s down here, to your left. [Max and 99 start to leave] I hope you have a good stay, Mr. and Mrs. Smart. And I’ll get the boys to look at your car tomorrow.

Max: Thanks a lot. Come on, 99. [ leaves]

Cates stands there looking at them. Suddenly, he stands straight up and listens. There’s only quiet, but Cates hears something.

Cates: Coming, Mother. [ leaves]

Inside the Smart room, 99 is unpacking, while Max is on the phone, calling someone. The scene changes to a big party at the Wyatt Hotel. Zachary Smart, Agent: 78, picks up the phone and covers his ears.

Zach: [almost screaming] Hello!

Max: Zach, it’s Dad. [ listening to background] What’s going on over there?

Zach: Well, we all thought we’d get the party started early, so we’re having a little social. Say, where are you? I noticed that you’re not here yet.

Max: Yes, that’s because our car ran out of gas.

Zach: Forgot to fill up, huh?

Max: Shut up. Look, your mother and I are staying in this motel just off the road. We’ll be here overnight, but should be there by tomorrow afternoon.

Zach: Good! I think you’re getting an award!

Max: [smiling] Really? Which one?

Zach: I have no clue, but I’ll make sure you get one, Pop. Hey, gotta
go. Agent 22’s gonna jump out the window. [in background] Hey, man! You can fly! Jump!

Max: Zach, do NOT make 22 jump out a window!

Zach: Don’t worry, Pop. We’ve got a pillow waiting for him at the bottom. Gotta go! [ hangs up]

99: What was that about 22 jumping from a window?

Max: [hangs up] Don’t ask, 99. Hey, I’m going to take a shower.

99: Alright. I’ll see what I can do about food. Okay?

Max: Great. I’ll keep the shower warm for you.

99: You’re so good to me. [ kisses him good bye]

99 leaves the room, while Max goes to the bathroom for a shower. From a window in the house, we see 99 leave to get sandwiches. In the upstairs bedroom, Cates stood watching her and carrying on a conversation with someone not present.

Cates: I don’t know who they are, Mother. They said their car ran out of gas.

Man’s Voice: Did they sign in?

Cates: Yes, sir.

MV: Under what name?

Cates: Smart. Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart.

MV: You know, Mycho, they’re CONTROL Agent. And you know what the CONTROL Agent did, right?

Cates: They hurt my mother, but she’s feeling better.

MV: Right. But…they’ve come back to take her away from you.

Cates: No one takes my mother away.

MV: Then you know what to do.

Cates gets this crazy look on his face as he faces back to the window. The scene quickly switches to Max in the shower. He’s silently singing something as he washes away. Just then, through the shower curtain, a figure is seen opening door. The figure walks in, slowly and silently, as soon it raises it’s arm and in it’s hand is something that looks like a knife!

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The room of Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. The Smarts had gotten stranded on the road by a motel. After signing in, 99 headed out for sandwiches, while Max took a shower. When we left, a mysterious figure had entered the bathroom and was holding what looked like a knife. The figure inched closer and closer to the shower curtain and finally threw it open. Max, very surprised indeed, started screaming. After a while he stops and we see his eyes wide open. Then, for a few minutes…silence.

Max: Don’t do that!

99: Sorry. Did I scare you?

Max: [sarcastically] Did you scare me?! No, 99. Don’t think anything of it. It’s just a mild heart attack.

99: I’m sorry. I wanted to know which sandwich you wanted.

Max: [struggling to turn shower off] What do you have?

99: Turkey or Ham.

Max: [turning shower off] Turkey. [rubbing water out of eyes] Towel!

99: [handing Max towel] Sorry.

A short time later, after Max had regained his composure, he came out of the bathroom. He was
wearing his ‘Chief’ bathrobe and his pajama pants, but his hair was still wet.

99: [seeing him] Sorry, Max.

Max: Think nothing of it. [ taking turkey sandwich]

99: I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I certainly didn’t think you’d scream. [pause] Mustard or Mayo?

Max: [sits on bed] Mustard. [99 tosses him packet] Don’t worry about it, 99. I still have 4 out of 9 lives left. [ looks at her] Unless you plan on doing something later.

99: [walking over to him] You’re unstoppable, Max. You’ll live to the ripe old age of 130. [ kisses him on forehead]

Just then, a shot rings out and the bullet hits the lamp near the bed. Both Max and 99 duck down to the floor.

99: Would you believe 125?

Max: I don’t want to alarm you, 99, but I think someone’s shooting at us. I guess I only have 3 lives now.

99: Can you see who’s shooting?

Max: [peering through window] [to 99] It’s too dark outside. We’d actually have to go out there and find out. And just between you and me, 99, I’d rather stay in here.

99: Max, obviously someone knows we’re here, but who?

Max: Well, 99, in usual circumstances, I’d say KAOS, but because we haven’t given them any reason to want to kill us…at least not this week…so basically, I guess I’m clueless. But I’d like to take a random guess and say an evil organization bent on world domination.

99: [sarcastically] That’s a start. I have an idea, Max. Why don’t we tell the
owner someone just took a pot shot at us? Maybe it’s not what we think.

Max: Good idea, 99. Come on. [ both get off floor] [ heads towards door] I think our nerves are a little shot. We’re jumping to conclusions.

Max opens the door and outside of it is Mycho Cates. His image against the lightening in the background, gives a frightening sight and scares both Smarts.

Max: [to 99] Well, I’m down to 2 now.

Cates: Sorry I scared you. I heard something down this way and thought I’d check it out.

Max: Good, cause we were coming to see you. Some idiot took a shot at us.

Cates: With a gun?

99: [sarcastically] No, with a water balloon. Of course, with a gun! What else?

Cates: Someone tried to kill you? That’s never happened here before.

Max: Well, I suggest if it’s some kids playing around, you talk to their parents right away. Or have someone arrested.

Cates: I agree. [looks at watch] I have to go. My mother needs me.

99: Maybe we can come up and see her before we leave tomorrow.

Cates: You can see her now. She’s right behind the house. [ leaves]

Max and 99 look at each other, then watch as Cates leaves and heads for the house.

Max: 99, something very weird is going on here.

99: What did he mean, ” she’s right behind the house”?

Max: [closes door] 99, against my better judgement, I say we check out that house and the surrounding area.

99: I agree.

Max: I was afraid you would. [ goes to change]

99: Max, I think before we leave, we should first find out what we have in our arsenal.

Max: Like what? I figured we’d be going to a posh hotel, not spending the night at the nightmare motel. Why? Did you pack something?

99: No. I figured you would pack something. You always pack something.

Max: Well, what could we possibly need? We have flashlights, we have
our guns…maybe we should call someone. Like a psychic or a medium or something.

99: What for?

Max: Well, do you remember that case of Ann Ferris? She was a spirit who contacted me.

99: But Max, she wasn’t really a spirit. She faked her death, remember?

Max: Well, that was the final outcome, yes, but before that, she was a spirit.

99: Maybe you’re getting one too many scares tonight. It’s making you jumpy. [ heads for door]

Max: [heading for door] At least you didn’t have a heart attack while in the shower. [opens door]

99: [following] I said I was sorry!

The two leave and start toward the house. It’s an old Victorian style house, that sat nicely on top of the hill overlooking the motel. The two stopped in front of the small steps leading towards the house.

99: I think we should split up, Max.

Max: [scared] Why? Couldn’t we just stay together?

99: Well, wouldn’t it be better for one of us to check the house and the other to check the surrounding area?

Max: No.

99: [relieved] I’m so glad to hear you say that. So what do we check first?

Max: Surrounding area. That way, if there’s anything scary inside, we’ll be outside where we can find places to hide.

99: Good thinking, Max.

Max: I think so.

The two went around the house, looking for clues. They found nothing until they went to the very
back of the house, where there was a small lake…and a mini cemetery.

Max: [shocked and scared] 99, please don’t tell me this is a small cemetery.

99: [also scared] There’s a small cemetery in back of the house.

Max: [closing eyes] I really asked you not to tell me that. Wait a minute, 99, wait a minute. Just…just because there’re headstones, doesn’t mean there are actual people underneath them.

99: How do you explain that?

Max: I can’t…really…but if you really believe what I just said to be true, it’s not as scary. [ pause] Though, now that you’ve brought up the explanation for it, it’s really not as helpful as before.

99: Sorry bout that, Max.

Max: Look, this time, we’ll split up. You take that side and I’ll take this side. And if you find anything, scream. Really, really loudly.

The two split up and go their separate ways. Finally, the two found themselves in the middle of the
cemetery, at the same grave.

99: All these graves are of CONTROL Agent, Max.

Max: I found that as well, but I also saw some KAOS Agent over there.

99: What kind of motel is this?

Max: My guess would be the Killing Fields Motel. [ looks down at headstone] 99, look!

99: [shines flashlight on headstone] [reading] Here lies Millicent B. Cates, beloved wife and mother, survived by Mycho Cates. [ to Max] This must be his mother! But Max, all night long, he’s been talking about her like she’s alive!

Max: 99, in cases like this, it’s best not to question the reasoning behind something, but to pack up and go home. Let’s go.

99: But, Max, we have to check the house.

Max: We don’t HAVE to check the house, 99. We’ll just assume it’s a lovely home and that everything is perfectly fine inside.

99: Max, we have to check inside.

Max: Couldn’t we just pretend we did and go home?

99: No.

Max: [heading for house] I was afraid you’d say that.

99: So was I.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The Wyatt Hotel. It had been a couple of hours since Max had called and Zach was getting just a tad bit worried. A bit plastered, but worried.

Zach: [to group] Hey! Has anyone heard from my Dad? He really should be here by now.

Agent:: You should call him!

Zach: On what? Pool broke the phone.

Pool:: I had to protect myself! They were all around me!

Zach: [to group] No more drinks for Agent Pool! He can’t seem to handle his liquor.

Maxine: Zach, I’m sure they’re alright. If they were in trouble, they’d call. Besides, I bet they’ve having a great time. Just the two of them alone.

The scene changes back to the Cates Motel. Max and 99 had regretfully decided to check the house to find out what was going on. They both walked in to a dimly lit living room. The door slammed loudly behind them.

Max: [scared] That was odd.

99: [also scared] It was just the wind.

Max: 99, at this time of night, in a spooky place like this, I’d really like a second opinion. [ turning towards door] Here, I’ll go get one. [ stopped by 99]

99: Max…we have to check the house. A lot of weird stuff is going on and I think we should get to the bottom of it.

Max: 99, you know how some times, we can be minding our own business and out of nowhere, all these KAOS plots just jump right in front of us? Could we just once, JUST ONCE, not see the KAOS plot? I mean, could we perhaps forget there’s anything weird going on here and just head out to Wyatt?

99: That’s a lovely thought, but we can’t. Besides, how’re we going to leave? Our car’s out of gas.

Max: I’ll push it. You said I need exercise. Pushing a car over a thousand miles is loads of exercise.

99: Maybe you’re right. Maybe there’s nothing here, but let’s just check.

Max: Alright. But I’d just hate to be alone.

99: You’d hate to be alone with me?

Max: I’d hate to be alone with you in this house, yes. I’d hate to be alone with you anywhere NEAR the house, yes. Even the property, I’d hate it. But alone with you, darling, I’d love. [ smiles]

Suddenly, both hear a noise from upstairs and instantly look up the stairs that lay in front of them.

99: [scared] That came from upstairs.

Max: Uh huh. So, we’ll go downstairs.

99: [looks at Max] Downstairs?

Max: The basement. [heads for basement stairs]

99: Wait a minute, Max. [Max stops] Haven’t you ever seen a horror movie? The worst place to go is downstairs to the basement.

Max: No, the WORST place is to go upstairs. Did you see all those rooms up there? Anything or any ONE could be up there. At least in the basement, there’s only one way out, which could be bad if that something or someone is down there with us.

Max and 99 head toward the basement stairs and start down. Upstairs, in some room, Cates and his
mysterious friend hear the Smarts.

MV: They’re in the house, Mycho. You know what to do.

Cates nods and holds up a very large throwing knife. The light reflects off the blade and we can see
Cates’ face on the steel!

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The spooky Cates Motel. Max and 99 had just entered the house and were now going downstairs to the basement, hoping to avoid the thing that was upstairs. The basement was dark and spooky, just like the house. The two split up again and started to search around in the basement. Max took one side, as 99 took the other. A hand creeps out from the basement door, knife in hand. It’s thrown and misses Max’s head as he kneels to pick up something. A second knife is revealed and is thrown in the direction of 99, who turns to tell Max something. She sees the knife above his head and rushes over to him.

99: Max! [points at knife] Look!

Max stood up and looked at the knife that had missed him. He turns to 99, just to see the knife
that had missed her.

Max: 99! [points to knife aimed at her] 99, something very strange is going on around here.

99: Max, I don’t like being in the basement anymore.

Max: Believe me, 99, I’d like to leave. But don’t forget Mr. Tall, dark, and scary is upstairs. Forget it, 99. I’m staying right here.

Max put his arm on the knife, which came loose from the bricks, dislodging one. Max bent down to
pick it up and came back up to find a finger from beneath the wall. Both he and 99 backed away from the sight.

Max: On second thought, 99, who wants to be in a dirty, stinky basement?

99: Not me.

Max: [heading for stairs] me either.

The two run back upstairs to the first floor and realize they only have the second floor to
explore.

99: Well, Max, I guess we’ll have to go upstairs.

Max: We don’t HAVE to go upstairs. In fact, we could leave right now. All those in favor of leaving, raise your hands. [ raises one arm, then the other] oh, look, two against one. You lose, 99. [ heads for door]

99 stops Max from opening the door, when they heard something from upstairs. They both turned and looked up the eerie stairs.

Max: What was that?

99: It came from upstairs. Max, I really think we should…go upstairs and check and see if everything’s okay.

Max: Okay. [pause] You go first.

99: [looking at him] Max! You’d really let me go up there all by myself?

Max: No! [pause] But as long as this is your idea, you should go first. I’ll be right behind you.

99: How far behind me?

Max: [pause] 5 feet?

99: Look, we’ll go up together. Okay?

Max: [looking at the stairs] [pause] Okay.

The two moved cautiously toward the stairs and started up them. When they had gotten to the fifth or sixth step, they heard the same noise again and quickly stopped.

Max: [nervously] Not too late to turn back, you know. I could lose a good twenty pounds from pushing the car.

The two continue up the stairs. At the top, the two stood and waited for something to happen. Nothing. After a few minutes, 99 started to laugh.

99: [laughing] There’s nothing up here. See, Max? We were all worried for nothing. [ turns to him]

Max was looking at a door at the top of the stairs, to the left of them.

99: [walking over to him] What’s that?

Max: [looking at her] A door, 99.

99: What’s behind the door, Max? [Max shrugs] Shouldn’t we check? [Max nods his head no] Why not?

Max: Why not? Cause there might be some scary monster in there or something!

99: Oh, Max. Do you really believe in monsters?

Max: In this house, yes. But if it’ll make you happy, 99, we’ll see what’s on the other side of the door, despite my protests of horror and terror, we’ll open the door. Just to make you happy and that’s what I enjoy doing, is making you happy because you’re my wife and I love you, darling. [kisses her on the cheek]

99: [sarcastically] Thanks, Max.

The two cautiously walk towards the door and both get behind it. 99 quickly opens the door and the two wait for something bad and horrid to happen. Nothing. The two peered from behind the door and realized nothing was there. They then step from behind the door.

Max: [chuckling] [to 99] There’s nothing there, 99. [99 laughs as well]

The two continue to laugh silently at the silliness of them being scared. Just then, a corpse falls
out suddenly and lands on the floor, causing both Smarts to jump and for 99 to gasp.

99: Max! [looking at body] Do you think he’s…?

Max: [sacred] Looks like it from here.

99: You’re not going to check?

Max: I don’t want to touch him, 99. But I’ll tell you one thing. I could handle the rain, I could handle the car being out of gas, I could handle that creepy Cates guy, I could handle being shot at, I could handle finding a graveyard in the back of this house, I could even handle being IN the house, but dead bodies? That’s where I draw the line.

99: [nodding] I’m inclined to agree with you, Max.

Max: Good. Now, what we’re gonna do…we’re gonna get the car. You’re gonna get in the car, behind the wheel. I’m going to get behind the car. And I’m going to push the car to that seventh Circle K and we’re gonna get gas in the car and we’re gonna go. So come on.

The two turn around and are now face to face with Mycho Cates. Lightening strikes and the light illuminates the scary, but yet intriguing young man.

Max: [surprised and scared] Hi. Um…my…my wife…my wife and I…we’ve…we’ve…we’ve…we’ve…um….

99: [finishing his sentence] We’d like to check out now.

Max: [nodding] Yes. Yes. Yes, that’s what we want to do.

Cates: You’re leaving so soon?

Max: Yeah. Yes.

99: Oh yes.

Max: We need to leave.

Cates: [rubbing his hands together] I’m afraid that won’t be possible, Mr. Smart. Your car…

Max: We’ll walk.

99: Walking is good for you.

Max: Absolutely. So, to start our new found hobby, we’re going to walk out of here.

The Smarts start to walk forward, but are stopped by Cates. They then try to go to the left, then
right, but both times they are stopped by Cates.

Max: [to 99] I don’t think he wants us leave, 99.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The Cates Motel. In the house overlooking the place, Max and 99 had finally come face to face with their host, who was now taking on a whole new oddness that they hadn’t seen before.

Max: [whispering to 99] This is all your fault, 99.

99: What?

Max: Well, it is. It was your idea that we search the house! All I wanted to do was push the car back in the world from which we came.

99: No, Max. It was you who wanted to search the house and surrounding area.

Max: And we did! And we found graves! I wanted to go after that!

99: Well, then why didn’t you insist we leave?

Max: I did, 99, but I admit, not with very much conviction. I mean, you were all gung ho about storming the house and who am I to stand in your way?

99: [sarcastically] The one thing you are, Max, is supportive.

Max: Thank you, darling, for the compliment. [ sarcastically] However you intended it.

The Smarts’ side conversation was cut short by the entrance of a man. We see it’s the same man who’s been talking to Cates.

Man: Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Smart! How good of you to join us.

99: [sarcastically] Not that we really had a choice or anything.

Max: Look, I hate to be rude, but just do you think you’re doing?

Man: I’ll be doing KAOS a favor. I’m going to kill you.

Max: Oh. [pause] Sorry I asked.

Man: Now, I’ll ask you a question. Just what are you and your lovely wife doing here?

99: Participating in a nightmare.

Max: Look, my wife and I were headed to a big party when our car ran out of gas. Whatever you guys are doing here, we haven’t seen a thing. We don’t know what’s going on. We never saw that big graveyard in the back house and we certainly didn’t see that dead guy in the hallway. Whatever’s going on…we’re totally kosher with it. Don’t know nothing about it.

Man: I’m sorry, but I don’t believe you. I think you know more than you’re letting on.

Max: Ask my wife! [pointing at 99] She’s never lied a day in her life!

Man: Oh come now, Mr. Smart! You and your wife are former spies. Are you saying you’ve never
lied?

99: Never! And I certainly don’t like the tone you’re taking. To stand there and insinuate that my husband and I do daily practice in saying half-truths…Never!

Max: Never! [pause] We might make up some stuff, but we would certainly never lie!

Man: I have to believe you, for I have no evidence to prove that you know anything about what’s going on. But unfortunately for you, I’m going to have to kill you regardless.

Max: Couldn’t we sit down and talk about this?

Man: I’m afraid we’ve wasted enough time keeping you alive.

99: Wait a minute! Before you kill us, I just have one question.

Max: [surprised] ONE question??

99: [gestures to Cates] What’s with him?

Man: Ah, yes, Mycho. [ puts arm around Cates] He’s KAOS’ s favorite bad boy. He was just released last week.

Max: [looks at 99, then back to man] Um…what do you mean, just released?

Man: Mycho was being kept in a …[covers Cates’ ears] special home after an incident with his mother. The boy isn’t quite right, if you’ve noticed.

Max and 99: We’ve noticed.

Max: So what happened to all those Agent out there? Surely, you don’t have him trained to kill your own Agents.

Man: [uncovers ears] Those were just slight mistakes. We all know what happened to his mother, don’t we Mycho?

Cates: CONTROL hurt my mother.

Max and 99 looked at each other and did a combined gulp. They then looked as Cates seemed to be
getting angrier by the minute.

Man: That’s right, Mycho. And it was the Smarts who are the culprits.

Max: [backing up, with 99] Now wait a minute. [ looking back and forth between man and Cates] You don’t possibly think…

Man: Mycho, the Smarts hurt your mother. And you know what happens when someone hurts your mother.

Cates: [inching closer to the Smarts] Someone dies.

Scared crazy, 99 hides behind Max, who quickly gets behind her. 99 moves behind Max, who again gets behind her, and then 99 reverses once more.

Max: [scared] Now, come on, 99. We can’t do this all night. One of us needs to be in front.

99: Well, you are head of the family.

Max: I am not! [getting hiding behind her] Everyone knows you’re the head of the family.

99: No, I’m not!

Max: Let’s face it, 99. No use denying it now. Everyone comes to you with their problems. Oh no, no. You’re definitely the head of the house.

99: [getting behind Max] But you have so much more seniority than I do.

Max: [looking at her] Oh come on, 99! Just two weeks! What does a short little 14 days matter?

Cates kept inching forward, revealing the knife he had in his hand. Max saw his life pass before his eyes, but not before he saw a vase on a nearby table. He picked up the vase and threw it, flowers and all, in the face of Cates.

Cates quickly went for rub his eyes and that gave the Smarts the chance to escape. They ran out the room and found another room to hide in. Thus started a classic chase scene with the running in and out of rooms. Max and 99 darting into room after, while Mycho and his friend chased them. There was a point when Max and 99 opened a door and saw Mycho and the man on the other side of the door.

Max: [laughing nervously] Oops. Sorry. Wrong room. [slams door]

Again the chase was on. The Smarts ended up running downstairs and headed for the front door, but they soon found the door was locked and that Mycho was coming downstairs for them. They quickly made a beeline for the basement, but were cut off by the man. The Smarts backed up slowly, just to run into what seemed like a brick wall. Both Smarts looked up and to their horror saw Mycho behind them.

Max: Well, in all my years of saying it, 99, I guess this really it. [to the man] I guess you’ll have your little psycho puppet kill us and bury us in the backyard, huh?

Man: I’m afraid so, Mr. Smart. And in this instance, you have no one to save you.

Max: [to 99] Well, it looks like I’m down to one life.

99: Max, if Mycho Cates has his way, both of us will be out of all our lives!

Max knew they were in big trouble. The two men faced them and were advancing as we speak. This was actually looking like the Smarts were about to be outsmarted by a crazy killer.

Max: [pointing] Hey Mycho! Isn’t that your mom?

Both men turned around, giving Max and 99 a chance of a lifetime. They punched each man in the stomach and then hit them in the face. The Smarts quickly took off for the front door. They tried to open the door and finally ran out of the house.

Man: [to Cates] Get them!

Cates shook himself out of his state and went after the Smarts. Max and 99 ran back to the motel and into one of the rooms.

Max: [slightly out of breath] 99…we have to get out of here.

99: [sarcastically] That’s a good idea, Max.

Max: Look, one of us needs to think of a really good plan. [ pause] [looks at 99] Well?

99: Well what?

Max: Aren’t you thinking of a really good plan?

99: No! Quite frankly, Max, I can’t think when I’m scared.

Max: I know what you mean.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Both Smarts jumped slightly, knowing it was Mycho and hoping he would go away.

Cates: [from outside] I know you’re in there, Smart!

Max: No Smart a qui!

Cates: Oh. Okay then. [ goes away]

The Smarts laugh at the fact that Cates has fallen for the trick. They then open the door and see him going down to the other rooms. They leave their room and start to walk away slowly, but not before Max stops and turns around.

Max: [calling to Cates] You big goof!

Cates turns around to see 99 hit Max and starts to come toward them.

99: [annoyed] Now you’ve done it!

The Smarts turn to make an escape, but run into the man from earlier. They’re trapped between a rock and a hard place. The man motions them into the office with his gun.

Man: Nice try, Smart, but I did tell you. You and your wife have no where to hide and no place to go.

Just as Cates came up behind the man, a shot rang out. It hit Mycho who ran his knife into the man as he turned around. When both men fell to the ground, the Smarts looked up to see who their rescuer was.

Max & 99: Zach!

Zach: [gun in hand][wincing] Please, don’t shout.

99: You have no idea how glad we are to see you.

Max: How did you know where we were?

Zach: I didn’t. I just really drove around until I saw your car. You said you stalled in front of an off road motel, so I just looked. [ looks down] Who are they?

Max: Our worst nightmare come true. That, my only son, is Mycho Cates. Recently paroled from the KAOS funny farm. And that’s his…handler, so to speak.

99: Cates and his…handler were killing off CONTROL and KAOS Agents who just happen to figure out what was going on here. And I’m afraid your father and I would’ve been two more victims to the cemetery out behind the house.

Zach: [looks at his parents, stunned] The trouble the two of you get into. Well, I’ll have some of the guys come up tomorrow, er…later today, and pick these guys up. Come on. I’m sure you guys need some sleep.

The three left in Zach’s car, assured that the porsche would be picked up tomorrow, er…later that day, and drove to the Wyatt Hotel. The room in which the convention was to be held looked like a hurricane hit. Agents everywhere, bottles and cups everywhere…

Max: [looks at Zach] Looks like you got the party started early, Zachary.

Zach: I told you. Don’t worry. We have a clean up crew on it. And as soon as they wake up…

99: [stops him] Nevermind, Zach. Your father and I are going to bed. Don’t wake us until the ceremony starts.

Zach: No prob.

Max and 99 tiredly start to head up to their room, when Max thinks of something and stops.

Max: [to Zach] Um, Zachary…just out of curiosity…where’s Agent 22?

Zach: Oh, he’s alright, Pop.

Max: Good. [starts to leave again]

Zach: He should be out of the hospital in about a week or two.

Max and 99 stop in their tracks, look at each other, turn, and look at Zach. Max is about to say
something, when 99 stops him.

99: [tired] It’s best not to ask.

 

 

THE END CREDITS TO GET SMART!!

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