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The Rings of KAOS and Gold

 

 

Setting: A small jewelry store. The store was empty at moment, but soon we see a man enter through the front door, holding a box in his hand. We see he’s an UPS man and stands around the front case. Soon, a younger man walks through the back door and comes to sign for the package. The UPS man leaves and the younger man takes the box into the back. Again, the front door opens and an elder gentlemen walks through the door. He goes behind the case and opens the door. He then removed something from his pocket that was wrapped in a black cloth. When he unwrapped the cloth, a beautiful diamond ring was inside. He took the ring, pressed a panel on the casing, and placed the ring inside a drawer that opened. As soon as the drawer closed, the younger man walked in.

Young Man: Good morning, Mr. Gold. How are you this morning?

Gold: Just fine, Archie. Very very good this morning.

Archie: We just got those orders of diamonds in this morning. Would you like to see them?

Gold: Absolutely.

Archie: I decided to take some and put them in the display case, if that’s alright.

Gold: [going into the back] That’s fine, Archie. [hears doorbell] Get that customer for me, Archie.

In walks Zachary Smart, agent 78 of CONTROL.

Archie: Good morning, Mr. Smart. [smiles]

Zach: Archie! Hey man, what’re you doing here?

Archie: I work here now. Mr. Gold thought I’d do so much better in his jewelry store than at his bakery.

Zach: Oh yeah? What prompted him to make that decision?

Archie: Well, after I accidentally mistook candle wax for syrup, he decided I’d be better off without being in the food department. [Zach nods] So, what can I help you with?

Zach: Well, I had a slight accident with the ring I bought for my girlfriend.

Archie: Stolen?

Zach: It sank. Into the soil of this guy’s house. So, I thought I’d come down to the best jeweler in town.

Archie: You came right on the money, Mr. Smart. We just got new stuff in. [takes out a sheet of rings]

Zach: Say, those are really nice, especially that big one on the left. I bet that’s going for a hefty penny.

Archie: We haven’t priced it yet, but I’m sure it can’t be more than two hundred.

As Zach and Archie talk, Zach accidentally hits the panel which moves the drawer.

Archie: [seeing ring] Hey, Mr. Gold forgot to put this one out. [takes out ring]

Zach: Say, that’s even nicer than that big ring. But, gee, I don’t know. I’m not sure which one to get my fiancée.

Archie: Well, you know at Gold and Diamonds, we let the customer take a ring he likes, with a slight down payment.

Zach: Really? So, if I were to borrow those two rings, I could bring one back and then pay on the other? [Archie nods] Cool! So how much would the down payment on those two rings be?

Archie: Well, neither one seems to be marked, but I bet Mr. Gold wouldn’t mind if I gave you a slight discount. [goes to register]

Zach: That’s real nice of you, Arch. It shouldn’t take my fiancée that long to make up her mind.

Archie: No prob. That’ll be $225.50, Mr. Smart.

Zach: Say, that’s not bad. [paying money] Thanks a lot, Archie. I should have these back in a couple of days. See ya later, Archie. [leaves]

Archie: Bye Mr. Smart!

Gold: [coming from the back] Who was that, Archie?

Archie: Oh, that was Mr. Smart, Mr. Gold. I used to give him doughnuts when I still worked at Gold and Dough. He’s a nice guy. He was getting a ring for his girlfriend.

Gold: I heard he took two rings.

Archie: Yes, sir. He didn’t know which one to get, so I suggested he take both. With the down payment of course.

Gold: Good boy, Archie. What rings did he take?

Archie: Two of the new ones that weren’t marked. This really big one in the case and the one I found in the little drawer that pops out.

Gold: Good, good!

Gold goes back into the back room, but he soon returns, with a puzzled look on his face.

Gold: Archie…did you say you took one ring from the little drawer that popped out?

Archie: Yes sir. I figured it was a new ring that had come in and you forgot to put it in the case.

Gold: [disappointed] Oh Archie…

Archie: [worried] I don’t like that look, Mr. Gold. Did I do bad?

Gold: No, Archie. Not at all. Tell me, what was the name of that man again?

Archie: Mr. Smart. Mr. Zachary Smart.

Gold: Smart…got it. [goes back into the back]

Archie: Are you sure I didn’t do bad, Mr. Gold?

Gold: [dialing] You did nothing wrong, my boy. You may have made a slight mistake, but I’m sure it’s something we can correct. [on phone] Hello, operator. Can I have a listing for a Mr. Zachary Smart?

 

 

THE OPENING CREDITS TO GET SMART!!

 

 

Setting: The Blue Skies apartment complex. Inside apartment 64, Zach was inside talking to his future wife, Tracie Lewis, agent 66.

Zach: [hands behind his back] I’ve got something for you.

Tracie: Oh you do, huh?

Zach: Guess which hand?

Tracie: Um…[hits left arm] that one.

Zach removes his hand to reveal a black velvet box. He opens it and we see one of the rings he had gotten.

Tracie: Zach, it’s beautiful! [throws arms around his neck]

Zach: Now, wait a minute. [removes other hand and opens box]

Tracie: Two rings?

Zach: I wasn’t sure which one you’d like, so I got both.

Tracie: [taking one box] Wasn’t that expensive?

Zach: Not really. I was made arrangements so that I could get both rings and show them to you. Then, when you pick one, I’ll get rid of the other.

Tracie: Oh Zach, you’re so sweet. [kisses him]

As the two kissed, Maxine Smart, agent 24, Tracie’s room mate, and Zach’s sister, came downstairs. Seeing the two kiss was nothing new in the apartment.

Maxine: [picking up paper] Hi guys. [Zach waves] [sees box in his hand] Oh, I see you finally got a ring for Tracie. [shows her other ring] Two? Wasn’t that expensive? [Zach waves his hand] Dad must’ve given you a big raise. [Zach again waves hand] Really? That’s surprising. [Zach does more hand gestures] I guess. Tracie, have you picked one yet? [Tracie waves her hand] They’re both very pretty. [Tracie gives a thumbs up] I’ve got it. Why don’t you show them Mom and Dad? I’m sure they’ll be able to pick which one you should get. [Tracie gives another thumbs up] Thanks. I think so too. I’ll even drive you guys down there, providing I don’t have to use a cross bar to break the two of you apart. [Zach and Tracie stop]

Zach: [sarcastically] Very funny.

The three get ready and head off for CONTROL headquarters. Inside the office of Chief Maxwell Smart, his wife, Agent 99 was already there, waiting for Max to come upstairs.

Zach: [seeing 99] Mom! Just the woman we were looking for.

99: What’s wrong with the two you have?

Zach: [grinning] We needed someone to give us an opinion. [shows her the two rings]

99: Zach, they’re beautiful!

Tracie: Aren’t they?

99: Why did you buy two rings? Wasn’t that a bit expensive?

Zach: Nothing is too good for my wife to be.

Tracie: Isn’t he great?

Maxine: The problem, Mom, is we’re not sure which one Tracie should get.

99: [hands rings to Zach] [to Tracie] Well, put them on both fingers and see which one looks better.

Zach: Not a bad idea. [slips a ring on Tracie’s left hand] Now, I do believe I like that one.

Maxine: I don’t know, Zach. Let’s see the other one. [Zach puts ring on other hand] Now, see I like that one.

99: Really? I like the other one myself.

Zach: [to Tracie] What do you think, doll?

Tracie: [looking at both hands] I can’t decide. They both look good.

Just then, Max walks in through the secret lab door.

Max: [seeing group] Hey, what’s going on? [goes to desk]

Tracie: [smiling] I got it. [shows Max the left hand ring]

Max: [shocked] You found it! You’ll get a raise for this! Where’d you get it?

Tracie: Zach bought it for me.

Max: Then he’ll get a raise.

Tracie: But then again, I can’t decide which one. [shows Max the other hand]

Max looks back and forth between both rings, very surprised.

Max: You got both!

Tracie: Zach bought both of them. [Zach nods]

Max: [looking between Zach and the rings] YOU bought these?

Zach: Sure did.

Max: How did you do that?

Zach: Well, Dad, I took money from my wallet, handed it to the clerk…

Max: What are you talking about?

Zach: What’re you talking about?

Max: I asked you first.

Zach: I asked you second.

Max: [taking a deep breath] Last night, KAOS stole a very priceless diamond ring from a jeweler in France. Then, just hours later, some guy by the name of…[starts looking for name] Forget his name for now. He stole a priceless gem as well from a premiere jewelry store. Now, I want to know, Zachary, where did you get those diamond rings?

Quartet: Diamond!?

Tracie: Oh Zach!

Zach: I told you, nothing’s too good for my wife to be.

Max: [annoyed] Zachary, where did you get those rings?

Zach: I bought them. I went down this morning and got them. You know that raise money you gave me when I lost the first ring, I bought them with that.

Max: Are you telling me you got those two rings for $250?

Zach: Well, technically, yes.

99: What do you mean ‘technically’?

Zach: I didn’t know which ring to get, so the clerk let me have both so Tracie could decide on one, then I take the other one back and I pay the rest of the money for the one she picked.

Max: [very annoyed] Zachary, you’re telling the biggest lie of your life or that store has the dumbest owner in the world! Look, let’s not argue about this. Tracie, give me those rings and we’ll have everything squared away.

Zach: Forget it! Now, I bought those rings fair and square, Pop, and nothing you’re going to say is going to make me give these rings back!

Maxine: Zach, did you not hear Dad when he said one of those rings is a KAOS ring? They could come looking for you.

Zach: I don’t care.

Max: Zachary, now you’re being ridiculous! Will you just hand over those rings?

Zach: [folding his arms] No.

Max: [annoyed] Zachary, you are really trying my patience. Now are you going to hand over those rings?

Zach: [thinking] Wanna hear the song I made?

Max: What song?

Zach: The song I made in response to your question.

Max: Go ahead.

Zach: [singing] NO! No no nnnnooooo! Never gonna give these rings back!

Max: Fine, Zach. Fine. Keep the rings, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. When KAOS finds out you’ve got their ring, they aren’t going to be happy.

Zach: Trust me, Pop. Nothing is going to happen to me, my fiancée, or these rings.

The scene switches to a hotel near the docks. Inside, two men are trying to explain to their boss about what happen to the ring they had.

Man 1: We sent out the Diamond Devil and it was supposed to arrive here, Mien Heir, but shipment was messed up and it was shipped to someone else.

Man 2: Where?

Man 1: Gold and Diamonds jewelry store.

Man 2: Dumbkoff! Why didn’t you go over there and get it back?

Man 3: We tried, only to learn that someone had purchased the diamond earlier that day.

Man 2: Who? [the two men look at each other and back to their boss]

Both: Zachary Smart.

Man 2: [furious] Of CONTROL? That twit Maxwell Smart’s son?!

Man 3: I hear good news though, sir. Smart is refusing to give the ring back.

Man 2: How is that good news?

Man 1: He won’t turn it over to CONTROL.

Man 2: Again, I ask, how is that good news? If he won’t turn it over to CONTROL, what makes you think he’ll give it back to us?

Man 1: We shall make him give it back.

Man 2: You’d better. KAOS gave us money to retrieve that ring from Paris. The two of you better get that ring back or you’ll live to regret it.

Man 3: Don’t worry, Boss. We’ll get that ring and kill Zachary Smart in the process.

Man 2: See that you do. I want to rid KAOS of the Smart menace!

 

************************COMMERCIAL BREAK*****************************

 

Setting: Zachary Smart’s apartment. There was a knock at the door and Zach answered.

Zach: [seeing his parents] Hello Mother. [seeing Max] Chief.

Max: [coming in] At least you’ve stopped calling me Mr. Smart. Look, Zach, I come over to apologize.

Zach: Apologize? You mean I can keep the rings?

Max: No, but I am sorry for getting on your case today, but I’m asking you, as your father, I’m BEGGING you, to give me those rings.

Zach: Sorry, Pop, but that’s something I can’t do.

From down below, a black sedan pulls up across the street. Two men get out and quickly go into the building they parked in front of.

99: Zachary, your life could be in danger if you keep those rings.

Zach: Look, guys, I’ll be careful, but I’m not giving up these rings. KAOS will just have to find me.

Just then, a shot rang out and hit the vase near where Zach was standing. The three turned and looked toward the window, but didn’t see anyone.

Zach: That was odd. [looks at vase]

Max: What was odd?

Zach: How my vase just exploded like that.

99: Zachary! We were just shot at!

Zach: How do you figure that?

Max: Zach, I’ll have to go with your mother on this. KAOS is starting awfully early. Are you sure you don’t want to just give me those rings?

Zach: [looks at Max] Dad, I stand before you, a man in love. A man who’s love has been strong for his lady love for years and years. Dad, before you stands a man in love, with a bride to be, but no engagement ring. I intend to stand my ground, Pop, cause that’s what you taught me.

Max: What?

99: [looking at Max] Well, we’ve narrowed down the source of the problem.

Zach: When I was a lad of seven, Dad, you told me to never back down from my convictions, to always stand up for what was good and right and never let anyone tell me differently cause they were probably wrong or just evil villains from the organization of KAOS.

Max: [shocked] I…I said that?

Zach: Yes sir, you did.

Max: Oh. Well…Junior…I’m…glad you took my words to heart, son…but perhaps I should’ve told you that sometimes situations arise where you…have to change your point of view…[looks at 99] [pause] Don’t look at me like that.

After pleading some more for those rings, Max and 99 gave up and went home. As soon as they left, Zach got a phone call.

Gold: Mr. Zachary Smart please.

Zach: Speaking.

Gold: Mr. Smart. This is Mr. Gold from Gold and Diamonds. How are you today, sir?

Zach: Fine and yourself.

Gold: Very good. I hate to bother you, Mr. Smart, but a terrible error has been made.

Zach: An error?

Gold: Yes. One of the rings you bought today was not to be bought. It’s a display piece and my assistant taught it was for sale. I was wondering if you could come down and perhaps exchange it for another ring.

Zach thought about the rings he bought and what Max had said.

Zach: I’m sorry, Mr. Gold, but I like this ring very much and so does my fiancée, but [whispering] I can’t talk here. Meet me at the Yellow Bill in an hour. [regular voice] No, I’m sorry, Mr. Gold. You’ll just have to find another display ring. Goodbye, sir and a good day to you. [hangs up]

Zach sat back and figured Mr. Gold was the only person who could actually save him. If KAOS was after him, he needed all the allies he could get and right now, CONTROL and his teammates were very fast not becoming his allies. Zach was thinking too much and needed to head out for a walk. He left his apartment, locked the door, and headed downstairs. He walked outside and took a deep breath.

Suddenly, a black sedan came around the corner and started firing at Zach. Luckily, he moved out of the way so he wouldn’t be shot. The car soon stopped and was firing at all points. Zach ran around quickly, looking for a hiding place, when he realized he probably should be inside. He darted up the stairs and close the door, only to have the door be shot up as well. The black sedan drove off, as Zach coward in the corner behind the door.

Zach: [sitting up] [to camera] With an arsenal like that, you’d think they’d be mad at me or something.

Later that day, Zach went down to the Yellow Bill to meet with Mr. Gold. When he got there, he suddenly realized he didn’t know who Mr. Gold was. That would’ve been a problem for anyone else, but not to Zachary Smart. He reasoned Mr. Gold was an elderly gentleman and so the first elderly gentlemen he saw, he knew it was Mr. Gold.

Zach: [sitting down at bar] [to man] Mr. Gold? [man starts to talk, but is stopped] Don’t talk. Listen. The very reason I couldn’t on the phone was because of outside interference. I can’t tell you exactly why, but just know, the rings I have in my possession are of vital importance to this government. [man starts to talk, but is again stopped] Just know, you are doing a service to your fellow man and country. Doesn’t that make you feel proud, Mr. Gold?

Man: Not really. If you had shut up for a minute, you would know that I’m not Mr. Gold. [leaves]

Gold: [from other side of Zach] I’m Mr. Gold.

Zach: [to Gold] Oh. Well, I hope you heard everything I said cause I’m not about to repeat it.

Gold: [taking Zach by arm] Mr. Smart, if I could see you over here.

Gold leads Zach out the back way and into the alley.

Zach: Listen Mr. Gold, like I told that guy, I can’t give you the ring back.

Gold: [pulls out gun] I hate for it to come to this, Mr. Smart, but you must understand it took a long while for me to get that ring and you shall give it back.

Zach: I guess there’s nothing I could say that would change your mind?

Gold: [clicking hammer back] No.

Zach: Oh, well. I guess I’ll have to resort to something dirty and underhanded.

Zach kicked the gun from Gold’s hand and punched him. Gold came back and ran into Zach and had him against the wall. Zach kneed him in the stomach and starting to hit him on the back. A couple of officers walking by saw the struggle and rushed to stop it.

Officer 1: [grabbing Zach] Alright, buddy! Hold it!

Zach: Thank God you’re here. [points at Gold] Arrest that man.

Officer 2: [helping Gold] Are you okay, sir?

Gold: Yes, I’ll be fine. Thank you very much.

Officer 1: You’re coming with us, pal!

Zach: What’re you talking about? That man attacked me! He was going to shoot me!

Officer 2: It’s kids like you that make me sick. Beating up on an old man like that.

Zach: [shocked] The man was going to kill me! He’s the one who threw me up against a wall!

Officer 1: A likely story! [to Gold] We’ll see to it he gets some jail time, sir. You have a good day now.

The officers took a kicking and screaming Zach off to their car. Gold stood and looked as the three left. He still didn’t have that ring, but he knew where he could find it.

 

***********************COMMERCIAL BREAK******************************

 

Setting: The Washington Police Department. In a small cell, Zach sat in the corner by himself, while other prisoners talked on the opposite end. Zach just hoped the phone call he made would get him out of this mess. A large man walked over and sat down next to him on the bench. Zach slowly turned his head to see the man.

Zach: [nervously] Hi.

Man: How ya doin? Name’s Butch.

Zach: What a nice name.

Man: What’s yours?

Zach: [very scared] Mine? [thinking] I don’t have a name. I never have.

Man: You look like a Susan.

Zach: [moving away] Really?

Female Officer: Zachary Smart?

Zach: [jumping up from seat] That’s me! [rushes to cell door]

Maxine: The places you get yourself into.

Zach: Max, please get me out! Please!

Maxine: [looks at Butch] [grins] Making new friends, are you?

Zach: [on the verge of tears] Please!

Maxine: Alright, alright. The one thing I can’t stand to see is a grown man cry. [to officer] [pointing at Zach] This is the dope.

The officer unlocked the door and Zach came out happily and hugged his sister.

Maxine: Alright, alright. Stop. Not in public.

The two got Zach’s things and headed out to Maxine’s truck.

Maxine: So, this Mr. Gold must be the guy who stole the other diamond.

Zach: That’s what I’m thinking. And of course, KAOS wants me dead, but then again, that isn’t something new. [getting to the car] But listen, Max. Don’t tell anyone about this okay?

Maxine: You still think we’re the bad guys? Zach, you were almost killed. Three times today! That’s new record high for you!

Zach: Look, right now, I’m at a pivotal point in this investigation. I know who my enemies are. Anyone trying to get these rings are enemies of the state.

Maxine: Fine. Get in the car. [opens door]

The two first drive over to the Yellow Belly to retrieve Zach’s car and then they head back home. The two walk to Zach’s apartment and open the door. Inside, Zach’s apartment had been turned upside down.

Maxine: [surveying the place] You might want to look into getting a maid.

Zach: Well, this tears it. I keep a very tidy home and to have someone come in here and mess the whole place up…that makes me really mad.

Maxine: [sarcastically] Do you think they were looking for something?

Zach: [looks at Maxine] No doubt. But luckily for me…

Zach goes over to the bar and pushes a button. He then pulls out both boxes with the rings inside them.

Zach: …I like keeping things right where I can find them.

The scene again changes to the same hotel room that occupy the three KAOS agents.

Man 2: Are you telling me you failed once again to retrieve the diamond?

Man 1: We searched Smart’s apartment, but couldn’t find it.

Man 2: I guess I have to do everything myself, huh? What does KAOS pay you for?

Man 3: It was a slight up, Boss. It won’t happen again.

The second KAOS man took out a gun and shot the third man.

Man 2: You bet it won’t.

Man 1: You didn’t really have to do that.

Again the man removed his gun and shot the first man.

Man 2: I didn’t have to do that either, but as you can see, I do not tolerate failure. This is obviously a job I’ve got to do myself.

Maxine couldn’t just sit and hold Zach’s secret to herself, but she didn’t want to tell Tracie in fear of worrying her, so she went down to CONTROL and told her parents and Dr. Parker.

Maxine: So now he’s convinced that we’re the bad guys too.

99: Maxine, where’s your brother now?

Maxine: That’s a good question. I left him in his apartment, but you know Zach. He isn’t going to stay there for long.

Max: Max, you said that Gold owns his own jewelry store.

Parker: I can vouch for that, sir. It’s called Gold and Diamonds. It’s another enterprise. Mr. Gold also owns Gold and Dough, the bakery shop.

99: I know where that is, Max. They make wonderful scones down there.

Parker: Don’t they? Have you tried their bagels?

99: Not yet. Are those good?

Parker: Delicious! They put this batter…

Max: [annoyed] Gang…[the two stop] back to business? If Gold really did steal that diamond, who knows what else is in his store? And if I know Zach, that’s where he’s headed.

The scene changes to Gold and Diamonds. Zach had to break his way in, in order to get a good look at the place. He figured Gold had to be hiding other things here as well, so he needed to search. He was just getting started, when a figure came from behind him.

Man 2: [gun in Zach’s back] Don’t move, Mr. Smart. Stand up, very slowly. [Zach follows orders] Good boy. Now, take your gun…very slowly…and throw over here. {Zach does the task} Now turn around. [Zach turns around] Hello, Mr. Smart. I bet you’re wondering who I am.

Zach: No, I’m actually wondering how you got in here.

Man 2: Though the back door. I’m a member of KAOS, Mr. Smart.

Zach: I figured as much. Why don’t you tell me what you’re doing here?

Man 2: I could ask you the same thing, Mr. Smart. I’m here to make up the revenue from the diamond you have in your possession. But seeing as you are here, I think I’ll take it now. So hand it over.

Zach: We couldn’t talk about this?

Man 2: You don’t have a choice, Mr. Smart. Give me the diamond.

Zach removes the boxes and hands one over to the man.

Man 2: Give me both. [Zach gives the other box.]

Just then, a shot rang out and the gun dropped from the KAOS man’s hand. The two looked and saw Gold, holding a gun.

Zach: Oh wow. Mr. Gold, am I glad to see you! Even though you had me arrested and messed up my apartment, this pretty much makes up for it.

Gold: I’m not here to save you, Mr. Smart. I’m here to retrieve the diamond I stole.

Zach: YOU stole a diamond? Mr. Gold, I’m very disappointed in you.

Man 2: Shut up, Smart!

Gold: I do not abide by rudeness, sir! Now, if you’ll just hand over those rings to me. [man gives up rings]

Zach: I don’t think you know what you’re getting into, Mr. Gold. KAOS is not an organization to be messed with.

Gold: Mr. Smart, I did plead and beg with you to return that diamond, but no. You just didn’t want to listen. And unfortunately, I’ll have to kill you.

Zach: You wouldn’t want to reconsider?

Gold: I don’t want to, Mr. Smart. You’ve been a loyal customer to Gold Industries and I hate for it to come to this, but now knowing your involvement with the government, I’m afraid you can’t live to tell about this.

As Gold had been talking, the KAOS man had been inching closer and closer to his gun. He finally made a move and got it. He aimed at Zach, but Gold pushed him out of the way and was shot. Other shots rang out and the KAOS man fell to the ground. In the front doorway, stood Max, Maxine, and Tracie.

Zach: Am I glad to see you guys! [to Gold] Mr. Gold…are you alright?

Gold: I’m fine. I think it just missed me. [holds up two fingers] By that much.

Zach: I have to thank you for saving me, Mr. Gold. One more minute and I would cease to exist. [pause] That’s why I really hate to have to do this…

Gold: It is understandable.

Tracie: [hugs Zach] Are you okay?

Zach: I’m fine, babe. But it was a close call. I stared death in the face today. Not once, not twice, not even three times. Five, five times death looked my way and five times I avoided it with my cunning speed, agility, and overall genius. I tell you, darling, if it wasn’t my quick alertness and superior intellect, I probably wouldn’t be aliii…

Zach went to lean on the counter, missed it and fell to the floor.

Tracie: [to camera] That’s my baby.

 

************************COMMERCIAL BREAK****************************

 

Setting: Gold and Diamonds jewelry store. The police had come and were about to take Mr. Gold into custody.

Zach: Mr. Gold, thanks again for saving me and for pressing charges against me when I beat you up in that alley.

Gold: Consider it forgotten, sir. I’ll have Archie watch the store while I’m gone.

Zach: Actually, Mr. Gold, I was wondering if I could trouble for one last thing. You see, with the mixed up with the rings and stuff…I’m…or rather my girlfriend and I are once again left without an engagement ring and I was wondering…if we could take a look at some of yours.

Gold: [smiling] Of course! [to officer] May I?

The officer releases Gold and he goes behind the counter.

Gold: I have some very beautiful rings for a very beautiful woman. And Mr. Smart, for your service and kindness, I’ll take off 5%.

Zach: 5%?

Gold: 10? [look from Zach] 20%? [pause] 25? 30%? [Zach nods happily] That’s awfully steep, Mr. Smart. [Zach starts to motion for the officer] But a very good offer!

Zach: And don’t worry, Mr. Gold. I know some people on the inside. If you can’t get out in like five years, I’ll see to it you get a cell all to yourself. Believe me, you’ll thank me for that.

 

 

THE END CREDITS FOR GET SMART!

 

 

 

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