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Zach Racer & Racer Max

 

 

 

Setting: A racing garage. People are filing out after a hard day of working the races, but one man stays behind. The man goes behind one of the racing cars and waits for people to leave. Making sure he was all alone, he kneels down by the gas cap, unscrews it, and out comes a small wire attached to the cap. Instead of there being an empty hole where gas should be, was a miniature dialing pad. The man starts dialing and waits for an answer. The scene then switches to a dark room, where the phone rings. The light is flipped on and the man in bed answers. The scenes go back and forth

Man #1: Senior Martinez, it is Jose.

Martinez: [sleepily] Jose, it is eleven o’clock at night. Couldn’t this have waited till morning?

Jose: No, sir. I have finally found out what’s been going on.

As Jose talks, a figure enters from the back of the garage.

Jose: The evil organization of KAOS has planted men here.

Martinez: [very alert] what purpose?

Jose: That, I don’t know, but I do one of the men is in your own office.

The figure slowly creeps behind Jose and stands there, listening to the conversation.

Martinez: One of my own men? A KAOS agent? Jose, are you sure?

Jose: Si, si. I am very sure. His name is…

Martinez: His name is what? Jose, speak up! Jose?

The figure has wrapped a wire over Jose’s throat and is doing a fine job of choking him.

Martinez: Jose! Jose! Can you hear me?

Jose lay motionless on the ground, his gas cap phone dangled from the car. The figure was soon gone.

 

 

THE NEW OPENING CREDITS FOR GET SMART!!

 

 

Setting: The office of Chief Maxwell Smart of CONTROL. Agents 78 and 24, Zachary and Maxine Smart, were sitting at their father’s desk, playing a game of checkers. Zach was far ahead, leaving Maxine with only one red checker.

Zach: [smiling] This is it, baby sister. The move that will astonish you, amaze you, and destroy you as I, Zachary Thomas Smart, became the latest in the Hall of Fame of checkers. With this move, my sweet sibling, I will put your little mind at ease by not thinking too hard at what you need to do, because you will have nothing to do, but surrender to me and lose in agonizing defeat. [picking up checker] This, baby sister, is your end. [makes the move]

It only takes a minute for Maxine to make her move and jump all of Zach’s pieces on the board. After she was done, she looked up and smiled at her brother.

Maxine: It seems as though we both have one checker on the board.

Zach: Lucky move.

Just then, their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart, enter by the automatic door. Max stops when he sees the twins playing on his desk.

Max: What’re you doing?

Maxine: Playing checkers, Dad.

Max: Yes, I can see that. On my desk.

Zach: [looking at desk] Yes. Yes, this would indeed be your desk. [phone rings]

Maxine: [picks up] Chief’s Office. [pause] [looks at Max] Yes, he is. Hold on. [to Max] Some guy named Christian Martinez, from International CONTROL Rio. [hands Max phone]

Max: Christian, how are you?

The scene switches to the Rio headquarters of IC At the desk, sat a man about 65, with white hair and green eyes. We see that it’s the same man from the earlier phone conversation with Jose. The scenes switch.

Martinez: Maxwell, can you come down to Rio ASAP?

Max: ASAP? What’s the emergency?

Martinez: The evil organization of KAOS is here and it has come to my attention that someone in my own office is an agent for them as well.

Max: KAOS, huh? Alright, Christian. We’ll be there. Do you know why KAOS is there?

Martinez: Negative, Senior Smart. Look, if you can come, I will fill you in then. But just know, if you do, you and whoever you bring will be in grave danger at all times.

Max: [smiling] Grave danger, huh? Not a problem to a Smart, Christian.

Martinez: One more thing. Do you have a good race driver?

Max: [confused] Race driver?

Martinez: I’ll explain when you get here, but pick an agent who’s a good driver and can withstand anything while driving.

Max: Alright, Christian. We’ll be there. [hangs up]

Zach: What was that about?

Max: The Rio IC is having some sort of problem with KAOS, but Christian didn’t tell me anything more. He just said he’d tell us when we got there.

99: What was that part about a race driver, Max?

Max: I’m as confused as you are, 99. He said I had to pick an agent who was skilled at driving.

Maxine: Who’s our driver?

Max: Zach.

Zach: Me?

Girls: Him?

Maxine: Have you seen Zach drive?

Max: Yes, I have. And if this case is as bad as Christian said, Zach is the right man for the job.

Zach: Can I get a second opinion? [to 99] Mom? Help me out.

99: I’ll have to go with your father on this, Zach. Besides, we don’t even know what the objective is.

Zach: [pouty] A fine second opinion you are.

The scene switches to the airport, then a flying plane, and then to the Rio de Janeiro International Airport. In the airport, the Smarts looked around for their car to take them to headquarters. Behind them, a figure stood behind a pillar, watching them. He quickly went to the pay phones and started to dial a number.

Man: We have a problem. Smart and his family are here.

The scene again changes, this time to the headquarters of International CONTROL in Rio. Around the desk of Senior Martinez stood the Smarts and Dr. Austin Parker.

Martinez: As you know Maxwell, I serve as chairman and judge of the Regional Atlantic Road to Rio race we hold every year here. Well, as always, I put an agent in the race just to watch things and keep me informed of any illegal activities. Well, last night the agent called me and told me that KAOS had infiltrated the race. Their purpose here he wasn’t aware of, but he did tell me that one of their agents was right here in the organization. But before he could tell me who the person was, he was killed. Strangled to death. That is why I ask your help, Maxwell. Your reputation of battling the evil forces of KAOS passes that of my own. You and your wife have helped me in the past. Will you help me this time?

Max: Of course, Christian. Think nothing of it.

Zach: Um…Senior Martinez…on the phone, you mentioned a need for a race driver?

Martinez: Yes. With Jose now dead, I need another extra pair of eyes, especially now. I’ve gotten word that one of the racers has been taken ill. The fourth one this week. One of you will replace the driver and then another will be the back up driver. The rest can be the pit crew.

Max: Don’t worry, Christian. My son Zachary has graciously volunteered to be the driver. [Zach looks @ Max in awe]

Martinez: [to Zach] Thank you, Zachary. You do know that with this case, you have to be on your guard at all times and look both ways before making a move. You’ll be in extreme danger at every waking moment.

Zach: [shocked] And…loving…it. [looks at Max, still stunned]

As the group leaves, Zach goes over to his wife, Tracie and puts his arm around her.

Zach: Tracie, darling, are you alright?

Tracie: I’m fine. Why?

Zach: Well, you look kinda sick. And tired.

Tracie: I think I might’ve caught something before we left. I saw a doctor though, for my physical. I should be getting the results while we’re here. Other than that, love, I’m fine.

Zach: Alright. Cause I want you as my back up driver. [looks at her] Sure you’re going to be alright?

Tracie: [kisses him] I’ll be fine. Come on. We’ll be late for Parker’s demonstration.

This demonstration took place in the racing garage, where Parker was giving a run down on everything Zach’s car was equipped with.

Parker: This, Zachary, is the Smart Racer.

Zach: [smiles] I like the name.

Parker: I thought you would. This car is the best of the line. Positive traction rear end, dual exhaust, sway bars, 400 horse power…

Zach: [getting excited] Let’s drive it now. [goes towards car]

Parker: [stops him] Down, boy. The race is tomorrow. Besides, all that stuff isn’t important.

Zach: It’s not?

Parker: No. The stuff IN and OUT of the car is important.

Zach: Right.

Max: [annoyed] Show him what’s in the car, Parker.

Parker: Right. [opens the door] Now, take a look inside, Zach. In the steering wheel, rather in the horn compartment, is a poisonous gas that is released when you hit the horn.

Zach: Isn’t that a bit dangerous? I mean, what if I’m in traffic and some idiot tries a dumb move, like switch lanes without signaling. God, I really hate that. Like yesterday on my way to work, this idiot cuts in front of me, changes lanes, and then…

Max: [annoyed] Zach! Get back to the briefing.

Parker: Now Smart, the radio is an interesting device.

Zach: You bet it is. You can get any station in the US on my car radio. Probably cause it’s broken. It’s broken for a while, really. I really should probably get it fixed. Hey Parker, do you think…?

Max: [highly annoyed] Zachary! Will you please stop talking and let Parker get on with this?!

Parker: The radio, as I was saying, is really a secret communications device. It’ll let us talk to you while you drive. Not only that, but there’s a compartment for your suicide pills. There’re regular this week.

Tracie: Gross! I hate the regular ones. They taste like chalk.

Parker: I tried to get another flavor, but everyone seems to like the flavored suicide pills.

Zach: [sarcastically] I wonder why.

Parker: Anyway, there’re a couple of other weapons on the dash and such, but I doubt you’ll need them.

Tracie: Really? Don’t you think KAOS knows we’re here?

Max: I’ll bet on it, but we don’t have any suspects in the case yet.

Zach: Parker, tell me something. [pointing to button] What’s this little yellow button do?

Parker: It’s for your radio.

Max: Zach, do you know what you’re doing tomorrow?

Zach: Racing?

Max: [sarcastically] Very good. Now what are you doing?

Tracie: Qualifying, Chief.

Max: Right. It’s just you, Zach. The actual race isn’t until Friday.

Zach: Right, Pop.

Parker: Chief, is that all?

Max: That’s all. Everyone make sure they’re here tomorrow before 9am. [everyone leaves, except Zach] Something wrong, Zach?

Zach: Actually, Dad, I was wondering if you could put a replacement driver in for Tracie.

Max: Why?

Zach: I think something’s really wrong. She hasn’t been feeling well and frankly, I’m a little worried.

Max: Tracie’s probably just a little sick. The flu was going around before we left, but I’ve already taken care of it. I already told Max to be ready just in case.

Zach: Gee, thanks, Pop.

Max: Get some sleep, Zachary. Tomorrow’s a big day.

In some other part of town, a couple of men are talking about the race tomorrow.

Man #1: I’ve already taken care of racer number 67.

Man #2: That’s the fifth racer this week. The International CONTROL can’t do anything to save the race now.

Man #3: They’ve found someone to replace him.

Man #1 & 2: Who?

Man #3: The American CONTROL agent Zachary Smart and his family are participating in the races. He’s their new replacement driver.

Man #2: What do we do?

Man #1: What’s to worry? We’ll kill him like the others.

Man #4: [back turned to men] The Smarts aren’t like any other agents from CONTROL. They’ll be harder to stop. But I want them stopped. And I want Zachary Smart killed.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The day of the qualifying race. Everyone but Tracie was already to watch Zach start the race…except Zach.

Max: Zach, will you please get in the car?

Zach: Dad, I can’t! I can’t race without my wife being here. I mean, where is she?! It’s almost 9:30am!

Max: Zachary, you’re about to race next. Please get in the car!

Zach: I’m not racing until I know where my wife is!

Parker: Zach, take it easy. She probably went to see a doctor or something. Personally, I think she has the flu.

Just then, the announcer called for car number 78 to get on the tracks.

Max: That’s you. Get in the car!

Zach: Dad, I am not racing!

Just then, Tracie came running up. She was a tad bit out of breath, but at least she was there.

Tracie: Sorry, I’m late. I had a doctor’s appointment. [looks at Zach] Shouldn’t you be out there? Wasn’t that your car being called?

Zach: I couldn’t race without my lucky charm here.

Loudspeaker: Will car 78 please take the track.

Tracie: Zach, darling, please get in the car.

Zach: Sure. Just cause you asked me nicely. [gets in car]

Max: [annoyed] I asked you nicely!

Zach: No you didn’t. You yelled and screamed at me. You know, you’ve been doing a lot of that Dad, I really think…

Everyone: Zach, GET IN THE CAR!!

Zach got in the car and took his place for the starter’s gun. The blast was loud and Zach roared off on to the track. He was doing a very good qualifying lap. As he raced, a couple of the other racers watched as well.

Max: [getting group together] You guys see those other racers over there? [everyone looks] [pulls out a couple of pieces of paper] Here’s a list of their car numbers and their names. Get to know them. Know them like they were your own family.

Parker: Then we return to you with the dirt on them.

Max: Right. And be careful. One or more of these racers is a KAOS agent.

The group splits up and starts checking out the other racers, except Max, who stays behind and keeps watching Zach qualify. Soon, a man about 5’4 walks up to Max and starts to talk.

Man: Good looking racer out there.

Max: Indeed.

Man: [closer to Max] Mr. Smart, my name is Harris and I believe I may have some information for you and your team.

Max: Well, what is it?

Harris: I can’t tell you here. Are you willing to meet me tonight?

Max: Tonight? What time?

Harris: Around midnight, maybe about one.

Max: That’s really late. Do you think you could bump it up a bit?

Harris: This is important, Mr. Smart. For you, your family, and your country. Sleep isn’t that important.

Max: It is if you have a big race tomorrow. How about I meet you this afternoon, say about
two o’clock?

Harris: That’s fine, Mr. Smart. I’ll see you then. [leaves]

Zach’s car came roaring into the pit and Zach jumped out.

Zach: [to Max] Did you see that? That had to have been the best driving I’ve ever done!

Max: Good job, son. You had the fifth highest time. You’ll start in fifth place tomorrow.

Zach: Sweet!

Soon, everyone comes back over to the pit.

Max: Well?

Parker: Nothing out of the ordinary, Chief. All the racers don’t know anything or haven’t seen anything.

Max: Well, I think I’ve got a lead. I’m meeting a man this afternoon by the name of Harris. He said he had some information to give me.

Tracie: Can you trust him, Chief?

Max: I’ll have to. He’s the only lead we got.

99: What time are you meeting him?

Max: Two o’clock.

Maxine: You’re not going alone, are you, Daddy?

Max: I’ll take Parker with me, but I need someone to check on our friend Harris.

Zach: No problem, Pop.

Max: Not you. You have to rest. You have a race tomorrow. Maxine, check out Harris.

Maxine: Yes, sir.

Later that afternoon, Max and Parker met Harris in the race garage. He was standing over by car number 24, who had placed first in the qualifying race. Max introduced Parker and the men soon started talking.

Max: So, Mr. Harris, what is it you wanted to tell me?

Harris: KAOS is involved with these races.

Parker: Tell us something we don’t know.

Harris: KAOS plans to smuggle stolen items in and out of certain countries with the help of some of the racers.

Max: [to Parker] That we didn’t know. [to Harris] How do you know that?

Harris: Because I’m a KAOS defector, Mr. Smart.

Max: We knew that.

Harris: I’m not the only agent here.

Parker: We knew that too.

Harris: There are more agents from KAOS than you realize. The whole race is based simply on the fact that these items must leave the chosen cars by the end of the race. It’s a perfect cover.

Parker: [to Max] That’s a surprise to me.

Max: How’re they planning to do this?

Harris: Certain markers are the drop off points. When the chosen racer gets to these markers, they drop off their load.

Parker: What exactly is KAOS smuggling?

Harris: You name it, we have it. Documents, weapons, jewelry, anything. That’s why you must stop them.

Max: Why are you so keen to help us?

Harris: As I said, Mr. Smart, I am defecting from KAOS. For my information, I hope to get protection from you and your government.

Max: That can be arranged. Thanks for your help, Mr. Harris. I suggest you stay somewhere relatively safe tonight. You never know what could happen. [leaves with Parker]

Harris watches as Max and Parker leave the garage. He looks around and notices he’s the only one left in the place. He starts heading towards the doors when a strange tired feeling comes over him. He senses something is terribly wrong and tries to reach the doors, but falls only inches before reaching them.

The last thing he sees is a figure walking in front of him, before he closes his eyes. The scene switches to the hotel room of Max and 99. Parker is sitting on the couch when the phone rings. He answers.

Parker: [on phone] Hello? Hello sir. [pause] What’s that? [looks at Max] Yes we did. How? [pause] I see. Yes, thank you, sir. Goodbye. [hangs up] [to Max and 99] That was Senior Martinez. You know that Harris guy? Racer number 24? He’s dead.

99: Dead?

Max: How?

Parker: Carbon Monoxide poisoning. In the garage, after we left.

Max: But that’s impossible! We were there and I certainly didn’t feel the effects of carbon monoxide poisoning!

Parker: Either did I and I’m a doctor! There’s something weird about that garage, Chief. Two deaths in there in the last couple of days, five racers taken ill in a week. That’s too much!

Max: Much too much. We’ll have to be on our guard tomorrow. And just for safe measures, Parker, I want you to do a good going over of Zach’s car tomorrow.

The day of the first half of the race started on the very qualifying track as the day before. TS stood around in the pit, checking out the other drivers, while waiting for Tracie to arrive.

99: [pointing out racers to Max] Right there is Hunter Strong, from Holland. This is his third appearance in the Road to Rio race.

Max: Anything interesting to note?

99: He’s a very sore loser. He’s only won once, but was disqualified for illegal maneuvers on the track. Not only did he lose the race, but he lost his temper as well. He put six people in the hospital over a period of three days.

Max: [shocked] When you say “illegal maneuvers”, 99, what exactly…

99: I mean like sideswiping, tailgating, illegal use of a pond…

Max: [stops her] I don’t want to know. [points out another driver] Who’s that?

Maxine: That, Dad, is Royal Honeydew, from Connecticut. KAOS has an outfit there.

Max: I know. Look, girls, from your standpoint, who’s the worst and meanest driver out here?

Girls: [look at each other, then at Max] All of them.

Parker: Okay, Chief. I checked and rechecked the car. Nothing out of the ordinary to report.

Zach: [panicked] There most certainly is something to report. Where’s my wife??

Max: Calm down. She’s around here somewhere. I mean, it’s almost time for you to get started. She’ll be here. [to Maxine] Where is she?

Maxine: I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine.

Announcer: Racers, please take to your cars

Max: Oh boy.

Just then, Tracie comes running up, but she’s not in her driving suit.

Zach: Tracie! Where’ve you been? Nevermind, no time to discuss. Get dressed and let’s go.

Tracie: Zach, I can’t race today.

Zach: Darling, don’t say that. Don’t be crazy. It’s really not that scary.

Tracie: No, Zach, I mean I really don’t think I should be racing today.

Zach: Sweetheart, did…did you hear the man? The man said to take to our cars. That means getting in the car and starting our engines.

Tracie: Zach, the reason I’m late is because I just got back from the doctor’s office. My report on my physical came back.

Zach: Well, you’re okay, aren’t you? I mean, there’s nothing wrong, is there?

Tracie: [smiling] No. I’m perfectly fine. The doctor said I was in excellent condition.

Zach: That’s great! C’mon, let’s go! [heads for car]

Tracie: Zach, I’m pregnant.

Zach: [turns around] Pregnant?!

As Zach turns around, he’s hit in the head by a bumper being carried by two guys who had been walking behind him. Everyone rushed to him as he lay on the ground.

Max: Zach! Zachary! [Zach sits up] You alright?

Zach: [slightly confused] Huh? Yeah. Yeah! [standing] I’m fine.

Tracie: Zach! Are you okay?

Zach: Huh? Oh yeah, sweetheart, I’m fine.

99: Are you sure?

Announcer: Racers, please take to your cars

Zach: I have to get in my car.

Max: Uh, wait a minute, Zach. Are you sure you’re gonna be able to drive?

Zach: Sure, Pop. I run into stuff all the time. It’s a flesh wound.

Max: Uh…I think your sister should be the second driver today. [Maxine disagrees]

Zach: Sure.

Maxine: Why me?

Max: Because I said so. [to Zach] Zach, where’re you going?

Zach: I have to get to my car. [heads for car]

Max: Zachary…[Zach stops] The car’s in the other direction.

Zach: Oh right! [grabbing his sister] C’mon Max.

Zach heads for his car, dragging a kicking and screaming Maxine behind him. The two quickly got in the car and started the engine. Because of Harris’ death, Zach was now starting the race in fourth.

Zach: Don’t worry, Maxi. I’m an excellent driver.

Maxine: [on radio] This is Agent 24 calling pit crew. Come in pit crew.

Parker: This is Parker in pit crew. What’s up, Max?

Maxine: I want out of this car! You guys must be crazy!

Max: Max, you’ll be fine. Tell Zach to take it easy.

Maxine: Dad! He was hit in the head! Granted, he usually is, but this time he might have some sort of concussion!

Zach: [on radio] I’m fine! Nothing to worry about!

The flag went up and the race started. Zach pulled out and soon found himself in second place, right behind car 666, Hunter Strong’s car. Strong was doing a good job of keeping Zach just behind and not letting him pass.

Maxine: careful, Zach. This guy’s gonna be a baby to beat.

Just then, something in Zach’s head clicked.

Zach: hey, Max. When we were back in the pit crew…did Tracie say she was pregnant?

Maxine: yes. That was right before you got hit in the head.

Zach: Max, do you know what that means?

Maxine: [looks at Zach] Yeah. Don’t…don’t you know what it means?

Zach: It means…it means I’m gonna be a father. I’m gonna be a father!

Maxine looked at her brother and realized the car was now picking up speed. The front bumper hit the back of Strong’s car and caused him to jerk to one side, allowing Zach the chance to move up. In the pit, the rest of TS watched as Zach was now in the lead.

99: [watching through binoculars] hey, Zach’s in the lead. He just passed Hunter Strong’s car.

Just then, a peep came in on the radio from the Smart racer. Parker answered.

Parker: Pit crew.

Maxine: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP!!!!

Inside the car, Zach was going at top speeds, while Maxine hung on for dear life.

Zach: I can’t believe it. Max, can you believe it?

Maxine: That I’m going to die? Yes, I believe it.

Zach: man, I’m gonna teach that kid everything. Baseball, football, soccer…

Maxine: Please don’t teach him how to drive, Zach. Please, PLEASE don’t teach this kid how to drive!

Zach: Driving’s just a small part, sis. I have to teach him about life and girls and the basic values of good and niceness.

Maxine: [turning green] Teach him to bring a barf bag when driving with you.

Back in the pit crew:

99: he’s really flying.

Parker: [holding his ear] I think he just realized he’s going to be a father.

Tracie: [smiling] Think so?

Parker: What?

Maxine: [on radio] Get me out of this car. Get me out of this DAMN CAR!!

Zach: I don’t believe this. I’m gonna be a father. Tracie’s having my baby.

Maxine: Zach…could you please slow down. Could you PLEASE stop the car?

Zach: Why? What’s a matter, Max?

Maxine: [turning green] I don’t feel so good. I think I’m going to be sick.

Zach’s car kept accelerating and soon, he had left all the racers behind…all except Hunter Strong, who was gaining on Zach’s lead.

Zach: Just put your head between your legs, Max. You’ll be fine.

The Smart Racer was doing a good job in lead, with car 666 right behind him. Hunter Strong was taking an aggressive lead in trying to catch up with Zach, who was busy telling Maxine how he planned to raise his son. On the last lap, Strong and Zach were neck and neck, that is until Strong bumped into Zach’s car, causing him to break.

The Smart pit crew saw this and knew Strong was definitely up to no good. In the end, Hunter Strong came in first, with Zach in second place. He brought the car to a stop and both he and Maxine got out. Maxine quickly went to a nearby railing and was soon bent over it.

Zach: [picking Tracie up in his arms] Did you see that? [quickly putting her down] Tracie…you’re really…

Tracie: [smiling] Yes, Zach. I am.

Zach kissed his wife and turned to the spectators in the crowd

Zach: Hey everybody! I’m gonna be a father! Can you believe it? I’m gonna be a father! [calms down and realizes what he’s saying] I’m gonna be a father?

Whether it was the excitement of realizing parenthood or the blow he sustained earlier, Zach fell backwards and hit the ground, unconscious.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The Rio Grande Hotel. After putting an ice pack on his head, Zach assured everyone he was fine.

Zach: Believe me guys, [glancing at Tracie] I’ve never felt better.

Max: Yeah and you’ve never been in more trouble. Did you see that move Hunter Strong laid on you?

Parker: That was a totally illegal move. We should have him reported.

99: I wouldn’t do that if I were you.

Max: I agree. Strong is definitely in this somehow and we already know Royal Honeydew is a KAOS agent. Look, I say the best thing to do is go see Christian and get more information about this whole thing.

The scene changes to the Rio IC building. Maxine and 99 decided they’d go over and talk to Christian, but he wasn’t there, so they were shown to Carlos Bererra, Christian’s assistant.

Carlos: I’m glad you cam down to see me, Senoras, but I have to wonder if we’re all in danger

Maxine: Senior Bererra, the matter of catching the head KAOS man behind this is already in the bag. We’ll catch him.

99: The problem we have is figuring out who’s behind what.

Carlos: I will tell you what I know. I’m sure Senior Martinez has told you we suspect someone in our own office to be the leader of this. How else would these KAOS drivers know ahead of time where certain markers are and other vital information? You and your family are in grave danger

99: So what do you suggest we do?

Carlos:From my personal opinion, I say you leave here at once. I’ve been talking to Senior Martinez and I’ve told him I think we should just halt the race and try for another time. [Maxine and 99 look at each other, then back at Carlos] If you excuse me, ladies, I have a lot of work to do

Maxine: [standing, along with 99] We were just leaving.

99: Thank you for your time, Senior Bererra.

Carlos:[stops them before they leave] In case you’re wondering, it is Senior
Martinez who insists that the race continue, amid such dangers. You might want to ask yourselves why. [girls leave]

Meanwhile, Max and Parker went to go talk to Hunter Strong, who was at the garage working on his car.

Max: Do you make a habit of causing deliberate accidents, Mr. Strong?

Strong: [looks up at Max and Parker] I don’t know what you are talking about. [goes back to car]

Parker: You think we didn’t see your surprising move into first yesterday? You could’ve killed our driver.

Strong: [looks back up] Your driver is as good as dead. And I won’t have anything to do with it

Strong goes back to working on his car. Max and Parker look at each other and then back at Strong, who stands to look at them. Parker hit the hood of the man’s car, causing it to fall on Strong’s hands and fingers. The man cried out in pain, but was cut short by Max

Max: So what you’re saying is, [leans on hood, putting more pressure on hands] my son is going to die. I have to tell you, Hunter, ole boy, I’m not very happy about that.

Strong: [in incredible pain] Please let me go

Parker: Can’t do that. You know something that we obviously don’t.

Strong: Car 78 is going to be targeted for tomorrow’s race. We have orders not to let him finish the race

Max: We? So there’s a number of you here?

Strong: Like you didn’t know

Max let up on the hood and raised it. Strong took his hands back

Strong: You’ve ruined my hands!

Parker: A little ice and you’ll be fine.

Strong: You’re going to pay for this, Smart. You’re going to pay a hefty toll. [leaves]

Parker: He’s right, you know. We’ll gonna be in a lot of trouble.

Max: The important thing is that we stop KAOS from doing whatever they plan tomorrow.

TS met back in Max and 99’s room to talk about the big race tomorrow.

Zach: So tell me again what’s going on?

Parker: [pointing at map] Tomorrow’s race is what defines the Road to Rio. You start here [pointing] and basically drive around the city of Rio until you get back to where you start.There are ten markers, to let you know if you’re on the right track. The interesting thing about the markers is that they are able to know when a car goes past, that’s how the judges are able to know if each racer has been at the markers. Unfortunately, for us, the markers don’t pick up whether there’s activity in the area.

Tracie: Meaning if what Harris said is true, and KAOS is using the markers to pick up and drop off
information, no one would know.

Parker: Exactly. What makes this more complicated, we know there’s several KAOS racers. We need to stop them from picking up or dropping off anything. Luckily, there’re two races. Zach qualified yesterday for the first race and I got the names of the ten racers in each race.

Zach: That’s great! All we have to do is narrow the list of KAOS agents, have them arrested and
everything’s cool again.

Max: Not quite. We only know of two KAOS agents. Strong and Honeydew.

Zach: [disappointed] Oh. Yeah.

Maxine: So what’ll we do?

Max: The only chance we have is that we break this whole thing up before the race tomorrow.

Parker: We’re gonna break this up before ten tomorrow?

Max: [pause] Sure. We’ll just have to sit up tonight and go over all the clues we have.

Maxine: We don’t have any.

Max: [pause] Yes, well…we’ll just have to stay up and make something up.

Zach: [excited] Oh boy!

Max: Not you. You have a race tomorrow.

Zach: Oh come on! I haven’t done anything in this case!

99: Coming in second isn’t doing anything? Becoming a father isn’t that important?

Zach: Well…yeah, that’s all well and good, but…

99: [putting an arm around him and leading him to the door] Well, see? There you go. You put so much into this investigation. We’re so proud.

99 opened the door and let Zach out.

Zach: Really? Cause you know it’s like I haven’t done anything, you know, and well…maybe it’s me.

99: You’re doing a great job. Where would we be without you?

Zach: [smirking] Well, that’s true. You’d be lost.

99: Exactly.

Zach: Well, I should go to bed then. I got a lot to do tomorrow. Gotta win a race and all. Well, I’m going to bed. Night Mom. [99 waves goodbye and closes the door]

Parker: [smiling at 99] Nice job.

99: It’s just a little something I do. [to Max] So, Chief, where do we start?

The group worked what seemed all night, but they had come up with something plausible, but not definite. The plan had to go in action around eight o’clock in the morning, even though Max, 99, and Maxine had finally gone to bed only a few hours ago. Zach came over, fully rested and wondered why the rest of the group was so tired. Zach had left Tracie sleeping and he noticed Parker was still asleep on the couch.

Zach: I see you guys burned the midnight oil.

Max: Yes, and I think we came up with something very decent and plausible.

Zach: And that would be?

99: Honeydew and Strong are the leaders in this whole thing, so the obvious thing would be to get them before the race and have them arrested.

Zach: That’s a good plan. I hope I’m involved in it.

Max: As a matter of fact, you are. We needed someone to be the braun.

Zach: [pauses] Done. So what’re we doin?

Max: Well, as soon as we get dressed, we’re going down to the garage.

A little after 8:30am, the four Smarts were in the garage, looking for Strong and Honeydew

Max: I made sure they’d be here. I called Strong and told him we had a proposition for him and his buddy.

Zach: Are you sure that was a smart thing for you to do?

Max: Absolutely. There’re two of them, four of us. They’re outnumbered. For once, we’ve got the jump on KAOS before they get a jump on us. [all four laugh]

Voice: I’m not so sure about that, Mr. Smart. [four stop laughing]

Max: Don’t tell me there’s a KAOS agent behind us holding a gun.

Zach turned around and saw the agent behind them, who was indeed holding a gun on them and turned back.

Zach: [pause] [putting arm around Max] Dad…

Max: Don’t!

Voice: Hands up please

The Smarts raised their hands, much to the anger and disappointment of Max

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The Road to Rio race grounds. Parker and Tracie paced up and down, wondering what was taking the rest of the group so long to get there

Parker: I don’t get it, Trace. They should’ve been back by now.

Tracie: What’re we gonna do if they’re not here by the time the race starts?

Parker: Don’t worry. They’ll be here. [pause] I think.

Meanwhile, at the garage, the Smarts had been lead to a storeroom in the back of the garage and then tied to chairs. Royal Honeydew and Hunter Strong had large smiles on their faces

Strong: I told you, Smart, you were going to get it

99: [sarcastically] Shouldn’t you be in a race or something?

Honeydew: [laughing] Shouldn’t you? [pointing at Zach] Isn’t that your driver?

Maxine: Look, boys, we know what you’re got going on. And all we need to do is put you under arrest.

Honeydew: Now that is something I have to see. You’re going to put us under arrest, while you’re tied up.

Maxine: It could happen.

Strong: Sure. So could your winning the race. [two men laugh]

99: So what are you going to do? Leave us here in this storeroom?

Voice: On the contrary…

From behind the two men emerged Carlos Berrera.

99: So you’re the one behind this?

Berrera: How else can I get information and jewels to KAOS?

Max: I don’t know. Western Union comes to mind. Fed Ex…

Maxine: Dad, don’t help.

Berrera: To answer your question, Senora Smart, we’re going to blow you and your family up.

Strong: We’ve got a bomb planted in this room.

Zach: Hey man, isn’t that illegal? You wouldn’t want to ruin your nice big storeroom here.

Honeydew: We’ll build a new storeroom. [leaves and closes door]

Zach: Yeah, but who’s going build a new us? [sad look on face]

Back at the races, Parker and Tracie pace frantically.

Speaker: Drivers, please get to your cars

Parker: Tracie, what’re we going to do? The race is about to start and our driver isn’t here! What am I saying? Our whole TEAM isn’t here!

Tracie: Listen, Austin. The most important thing is to stop KAOS and their plan of smuggling things out during the race, right?

Parker: Right.

Tracie: So all we have to do is one of us will do the racing and the other is going to find out what happened to the Smarts.

Parker: Right. I’ll start making some calls, you get in the car.

Tracie: Right.

The two start to head off when they both stop in their tracks

Tracie: Austin…

Parker: [walking over to the car] Yeah, yeah, I know. I’m just really good at making phone calls and finding out stuff. [grabs helmet]

Back in the storeroom, the Smarts are trying to get out of their current situation

99: [yelling] Help!

Max: [struggling with rope] It’s no use, 99. No one would hear us even if they were a foot from the door. HELP!

Maxine: [tired] Alright, decease and desist with the screaming for help.

99: We’ve got to get out here!

Zach: I got it! I got it! I’m going to do my obligatory part for this case. I’m going to get us untied.

Maxine: How’re you going to do that?

Zach: Very simple, Maxine. You see that table in front of me?

99: Yeah.

Zach: Notice how there’s a piece of broken glass on the table? [everyone nods] I’m going to stand up, walk over to the table, rub the ropes on the glass, and there you have it. Zachary Smart has saved us again.

Maxine: um…listen, Zach, I don’t think that’s going to work.

Zach: [sighs] There you go again. Questioning my authority. I hope that when my son is born, you don’t do that around him. I mean, just because I haven’t been much help in this case, the least you could do would be to take my plan at face value.

Maxine: Look, I’m not saying it’s not a good plan, I just think it might not work.

Zach: [annoyed] And pray tell, why not?

Maxine: [sarcastically] You’ve noticed, I’m sure, how our hands are tied behind our backs and that our feet are tied together.

Zach: I’ve taken all that into account, yes. I’m simply going to hop over and proceed with my plan. Now, if you don’t mind, I’m a tad bit late in saving you guys. I should’ve saved us at least five minutes ago.

Zach stood up slowly, smiled at his sister, and started to hop to the table. But the third hop, he lost his balance and he, along with the chair fell over unto the floor

99: [sarcastically] Got another plan, Zach?

Zach: [on floor] I’m working on it.

Meanwhile, back at the races, the race had started with Austin substituting for Zach in the race. Tracie was frantically trying everywhere she could to locate the Smarts. She finally ended up running into Martinez

Tracie: Senior Martinez! Am I glad to see you!

Martinez: What’s wrong, my dear?

Tracie: You haven’t by chance seen the Smart family, have you?

Martinez: [alarmed] The WHOLE Smart family!?

Tracie: Well, not the whole Smart family. Just the four main players.

Martinez: No, Seniorita. I have not seen the Smarts. Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my assistant, Carlos Berrera either

Tracie: Do you think the five of them may be in trouble?

Martinez: I’m not sure. But I think we should start finding out. [about to leave, but stops] Tell me, Mrs. Smart, if your husband and in-laws are missing, who then is driving the Smart Racer?

Max: I wonder who’s driving the Smart Racer.

Back in the storeroom, the Smarts still hadn’t gotten free and Zach was still on the floor, trying to get the piece of glass from the table

Zach: Well [crawling toward table] I’ll tell you one thing…[bumping table] it had better not be my mother to be wife.

Maxine: Well, I think if Austin and Tracie really loved us, they’d be here now trying to save us.

Max: I agree.

99: Well, I don’t. They’re obviously trying to do what we came down here to do in the first place. Stop KAOS’ s plan to smuggle information during this race. Don’t worry, guys. I bet Tracie and Austin are doing everything in their power to stop KAOS and save us at the same time. [pause] I hope.

Zach: Well, until then, I’m sure you all have noticed that I’ve been inching my way to the table that holds our escape.

99: Actually, Zach, I hadn’t been paying attention.

Zach: [looking at 99] Well, some mother you are! I hope when you’re a grandmother, you’ll give better support. Now as I was saying, I’ve been inching my way to this table, so I can knock the piece of glass off, cut the ropes, free us, and thus capture the evil KAOS villains.

Zach starts bumping the table and things start shaking. Finally, he gives one giant push, which causes cans, containers, and other things to fall off and crash around Zach. Two cans and a heavy container end up hitting him in the head. The goal of moving the piece glass doesn’t work. The glass is still sitting on the edge

99: Zach! Are you alright?

Zach: [dizzy] I’m fine. Don’t concern yourself.

Maxine: Zach, perhaps you should just stop with the glass thing.

Zach: No, no. I have another plan. And I’ll tell it to you…as soon as I take a little nap. [passes out]

Max: I have a feeling we’re going to be sitting here for a long while.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: A storeroom in the back of the garage. It had been about twenty minutes since Zach’s last rescue attempt and the other three Smarts were trying to work their way out of the situation

Max: I hate to bring everybody down, but I wonder when that bomb’s set to go off.

99: Maybe Berrera was trying to scare us. On the other hand, he might just be waiting for the race to finish, that way he can kill all the drivers with one foul swoop.

Maxine: That doesn’t give us much time.

Max: And it certainly isn’t a wonderful scenario.

Zach finally awoke with a start and looked at his surroundings

Max: [seeing Zach] hey, Zach! You finally woke up.

Zach: [groggy] Yeah, but have I got a plan for you! You see…

Maxine: Oh, that’s okay, Zach. See, while you were asleep, we thought of a plan.

Zach: [annoyed] I don’t think the three of you seem to understand. Now, I said I have a plan. And damn it, if there’s one thing I do for this case, it’s freeing us from these bonds and capturing those KAOS agents! [starting to stand up] Now, sit tight and let me save the day.

The trio look among each other and then at Zach, who was standing up and cutting the rope around his hands

Zach: Ah ha! [rubbing his wrists] [untying his ankles] Don’t worry, gang. I’ll have us out of here in no time and then we’ll go after those stupid KAOS agents and…

Zach stands up and sees his family standing in front of him. He looks behind them at their chairs, then
back to them

Zach: How did you get out of those chairs?

Max: Zach, we told you. We had a plan already. You see, your mother’s wearing my shirt and…

Zach: [annoyed] I don’t care. Now, the three of you get back in those chairs, tie yourselves back up and sit there until I untie you.

99: But Zach, that’s not necessary! We’re already free!

Zach: [not amused] I said, get back in those chairs and tie yourselves back up!

Max: Alright, alright!

The three go back to their chairs and retie themselves

Maxine: [sarcastically] Geez, leave him out of a case for a couple of days and he goes all postal and stuff.

99: I just hope it doesn’t get any worse.

Max: Why do you say that?

99: Well, I read somewhere that some men experience the same kind of mood swings their wife has when she’s pregnant.

Maxine: Well that would explain the eating habits.

Zach: Okay. Don’t worry guys. I’m going to save you.

Max: Oh boy.

Maxine: Yay. Zach to the rescue.

Zach: [annoyed] You could be a little more excited about it.

99: [sarcastically] Not bloody likely. Zach, we’re really wasting a lot of time when we could be out there looking for Honeydew, Strong, and Berrera.

Maxine: Or better yet look for that bomb that’s going to be going off any minute.

Zach: [sarcastically] Know what I love about you, girls? You’re so optimistic.

Zach finally unties everyone, again, and the four set out to look for those explosives. Back at the races, Parker had gone through the first three markers and had apprehended two KAOS agents. He was making contact to Tracie and Martinez in the pit crew, while some of Martinez’s men were either searching for the Smarts or capturing the KAOS agents

Parker: [on radio] So far, so good, Trace. Obviously the marker drops are in the odd numbers. I estimate that the next pick up will be at marker number five.

Tracie: [in pit crew] That’s great, Austin. How’re things going out there?

Parker: Not bad. Right now, I’m in third behind Honeydew. I’m sure Hunter Strong is pulling down first. Didn’t the Chief say they were KAOS agents?

Tracie: Yes, and very dangerous ones at that.

Parker: I’ll take that into account. Speaking of the Chief, have you guys found the Smarts yet?

Tracie: No and I’m worried every minute. They’ve been gone since eight this morning and it’s a little after 11 now. Where could they be?

Parker: I don’t know, but I guarantee you they’ve got a plan up their sleeves.

Maxine: I wish we had a plan up our sleeve.

Back in the storeroom, the Smarts were still looking for the bomb that would blow them to kingdom come

Max: I’m starting to agree with your mother on this. What if Berrera is waiting for the race to end and getting all the racers in here and then blowing up the storeroom?

Zach: Then if he wants to get all the racers, he must have a large bomb in here.

99: [disappointed] That’s not very encouraging, Zach.

Zach: It’s not really meant to be.

Maxine: Guys, we’ve over this storeroom like a hundred times and I do not see a bomb.

Zach: Maybe it’s in disguise.

99: [annoyed] Zachary, that has to be…

Max: …the best plan you’ve come up with this whole entire case. [girls look at him]

99: [stunned] I’m not sure I heard you right.

Max: It is. Think about it. The reason we can’t find this bomb is probably cause it’s disguised as something else!

Zach: Wow. That makes sense. And that was my idea?

Max: Absolutely, my first born. Father to be. [Zach smiles] Come on, let’s look for that bomb.

Maxine: And you said you weren’t doing anything constructive toward the case.

Back at the races, Parker had inched his way into second and now only had to contend with Hunter Strong.
Royal Honeydew had been caught at the sixth marker, which only left Parker and Strong. They were quickly gaining neck and neck and approaching the ninth marker. Parker was quickly gaining the lead, when Strong rammed his car into the Smart Racer, causing Parker to momentarily lose control. The Racer smashed into a bush, but it gave Strong the lead he wanted and he zipped off. Parker quickly called Tracie on the radio

Tracie: Yes, Austin.

Parker: I just found out why Strong is a sore loser. He just ran me into a bush.

Tracie: Are you alright?

Parker: Yeah, I’m fine, but Strong’s heading for the tenth marker and the finish line.

Tracie: Don’t worry, Austin. We’ll try and cut him off at the pass.

Back in the storeroom, the Smarts had searched and searched again and still couldn’t find a bomb or any
kind of explosives anywhere

Max: We’ve torn this room apart.

Zach: Look, gang, I say we cut our losses and get out of here. If there is a bomb in here, set with a timer, the best thing is to keep everyone out of this storeroom. [pause] And maybe the garage.

Maxine: Another good plan, Zach. You’re on a roll, today.

Zach: Yeah.

99: Well, come on!

The four rush to the door and find it’s unlocked

Zach: Hey, those KAOS guys might have been liars, cheats, and underhanded scoundrels, but it was sure nice of them to leave the door unlocked.

Max: Say what you will about KAOS, you have to admit, they’re all around nice guys.

 


COMMERCIAL BREAK


 

Setting: The Road to Rio finish line. The Smarts had gotten there just as Hunter Strong, Royal Honeydew, and several other racers were being lead away by the International CONTROL agents.

Zach: [watching as men were led away] Hey, this is all well and good, but where’s Tracie? Where’s Austin?

Just then, Zach heard his name and saw Tracie coming towards them

Zach: [hugging her] Tracie! Are you alright?

Tracie: I’m fine.

99: Trace, where’s Austin?

Tracie: Getting his trophy.

Smarts: His trophy?

Tracie: Yeah. We won! The other four racers in the race were KAOS agents and Strong was disqualified for illegal maneuvers.

Zach: Yeah, but isn’t there a race tomorrow? You can’t have a winner after just one race.

Tracie: This time you can. Three of tomorrow’s racers were taken ill, thanks in part to the other two KAOS racers. So the race is invalid. We won!

Zach: I don’t believe it.

Tracie: It’s true.

Zach: No, I mean I can’t believe Parker would steal my glory like that. I’m the racer in this group! That trophy is rightfully mine!

Tracie: [sarcastically] [annoyed] Well, if the four of you hadn’t gotten caught by KAOS, you would’ve won that trophy.

Max: [pouty] That’s dirty pool, Trace. It wasn’t like we did it on purpose.

Just then, Martinez and Berrera walked over to the Smarts.

Martinez: Maxwell! I’m glad you and your family are safe.

Max: [staring at Berrera] Yes. No thanks to your assistant.

Martinez: [looking between the Smarts and Berrera] What do you mean?

99: [to Berrera] Are you going to tell him or do you want us to?

Martinez : What is going on here? [Parker runs up with large trophy]

Parker: Hey guys, look at the trophy I got!

Just then, Berrera pulls out a gun and grabs Martinez

Berrera: [holding gun in Martinez’s ribs] I don’t know how you did it, but you should be in a storeroom that’s about to blow up

Martinez: Carlos, what on earth are you doing?

Zach: Your assistant, Senior Martinez, is the head of this whole KAOS operation. It was he who was giving the orders to the other agents.

Berrera: I certainly underestimated you, Smart. But I shall get away with this. Senior Martinez and I are going for a ride. [looks around and sees the Smart Racer] In fact, I think we’ll take this car here.

Maxine: Um…I wouldn’t do that…

Berrera holds the gun on the Smarts, as he instructs Martinez to get in the car. He then gets in the driver’s side and hot wires the car

Max: [to Zach] Well? Go on. Do your obligatory duty in this case and save Christian Martinez!

Zach: Don’t worry, Pop. It’s all taken care of. Right, Austin?

Parker: [nods knowingly] Right.

The team watches as Berrera starts the car, but it doesn’t seem to be moving. He then turns the ignition again and gets an electric shock. Martinez quickly jumps out of the car. Berrera just sits there, gulping down all this electricity. Finally, the current stops and Berrera gets out of the car and falls

Tracie: [amazed] Wow.

99: What was that?

Zach: [grinning] My anti-theft device. I guarantee you, he won’t be stealing anymore cars.

Maxine: Gee, Zach. I guess you did do your obligatory job for this case.

Zach: You mean saving us and discovering the KAOS plot?

Everyone thinks about that for a while

Max: [puts him on the back] You caught the bad guy, son. That’s more than enough.

 

 

THE END CREDITS TO GET SMART!!

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