“Watch me, Daddy!”
“Dad, are you watching?”
“I’m watching, I’m watching!”
Maxwell Smart stood out near the sidewalk of a quaint two story, red brick home. He and his wife had just purchased the house, feeling their old apartment was getting too small for the number of occupants it held. He now stood in front of this house watching his children ride up and down the sidewalk. The tricycles they rode on were early birthday presents they had gotten just that morning and the two were soon out the door, wanting to show their father they could ride.
Max sighed. Here he was, spy extraordinaire, secret operative for good, facing evil in the most horrendous ways…now practicing the role of husband and father. It always amazed the agent what had come about in four and a half years. He had never imagined his life would be like this: standing on the porch, watching his children ride bikes down the street…
“Don’t go too far down!” he shouted, watching as the two began to race down the street.
“We won’t!” came the identical cry.
It was amazing, really. Just amazing. He never could’ve imagined this was where he would be at this moment in time. He still remembered the night that changed everything…
The morning began as any other in the sunny year of 1968. Birds chirped, people went to work, and secret agent Maxwell Smart of CONTROL was stumbling out of bed and hitting the floor like he always did. After rubbing his head where he hit it on the night table, he stood up and walked into the bathroom. Or rather, into the bathroom DOOR. After cursing said door, he took his shower, got dressed in a blue dress shirt and black slacks, and headed for the staircase.
In which he fell down it.
After picking himself up and giving the staircase the evil eye, he searched for his keys. A nagging voice, which had woken him up at his regular time on a Saturday morning, still bugged him. It told him something was different today. Noted that he usually got these weird nagging voices, usually about how a case would go and if he needed to confess any sins before the big BIG one, but it wasn’t like that today. He had just finished case, last night as a matter of fact, and the Chief said he had the rest of the weekend off. Maybe it’s saying you’re getting a case, he thought. No, the voice said.
Something…else. Max began to think about the weird feeling he was having when his hand fell over his keys. Picking them up, he figured a drive would help him out.
So, with that in mind, Maxwell Smart left his apartment to head over to see his best girl…when he stopped in his tracks, just outside the door. His best girl. It came flooding back like a…flood. His best girl, his partner, his best friend was now that permanently.
Fiancée. It all hit him. The Leader. The sound booth. The impossible escape. The profession of love. The old double door deception trick that could just work. Fiancée.
Max wasn’t sure what he had gotten himself into. He had really never envisioned himself as a married man, family type. Sure it was in the back of his mind, but he never really thought about it. All those times he had been in danger or trouble, his thoughts always drifted to how much money he owed someone and that he would give his last cent to 99 or the Chief, but nothing like the whole life-flashing-before-the- eyes thing.
Max was still thinking about his actions last night when he found himself at 99’s apartment. He felt slightly nervous about seeing her, something which never happened. All these feelings that he had suppressed in order to maintain a semblance of a working relationship were now erupting like volcanoes. Looking at himself in the rearview mirror, he said, “Get a hold of yourself, man. You’re going loopy. People are going to think you’re crazy.” Turning to get out, Max found himself staring at a little old lady, who had been passing him on the sidewalk, and who had heard him talking to himself.
“I’ll thank you not to interrupt private conversations.” he said, sternly, getting out of the car and heading up the steps.
The nagging voice was still nagging him about rushing into things. But a new voice was heard, coming from the very depths of Max himself, who quieted the antagonist. This new voice proclaimed his love for the beautiful and statuesque Agent 99, said he had waited all this time to finally tell her how he felt and it lead to this, probably one of the greatest moments of his life. Well, that shut it up, Max thought to himself proudly. And that’s how he felt. He loved 99, had loved her for a very long time. If Maxwell Smart, confirmed bachelor, had to get married, he wanted to marry Agent 99. He wanted to proudly announce he was the father of her children. So when he approached her door and knocked, Max was beaming.
Right there on the spot, he decided he wanted to treat her today. Whatever she wanted to go, he’d do it. He was hoping she wanted to go to the amusement park. It was fun and they could hold hands and get cotton candy and ride rides…
“This is going to be the best day ever.” he said.
“It’s certainly starting out to be that way.”
Max turned to see his lady love leaning against the door jam. She was dressed almost identically, wearing a blue dress shirt and black jeans. “99!” Max exclaimed, the smile on his face getting bigger. “What’re you doing here?” As soon as the question was out of his mouth, he rolled his eyes.
“I live here, Max.” she purred. “What’re you doing here?”
“I came over to see you.” he replied, a questioning look in his eyes. In a second, it was gone and he became embarrassed. “What I mean to say is, I came over to see what you were doing today. I really should’ve called instead of just coming over like this. I really can’t believe…”
Agent 99 patiently stood and listened as Max rambled on about calling first. She was used to it; he rambled when he got nervous, but she really hadn’t seen this side of him and wondered if what happened last night had anything to do with it. “Tell you what,” he continued. “Why don’t I go home and call you and then you tell me if you have anything planned and I’ll come back…”
“But Max,” she interrupted. “Wouldn’t that defeat the purpose of coming over and being here now?”
Max stopped and thought about it. “Yeah, I guess so…”
“Besides, didn’t you want to do something?”
Max nodded. “But only if you don’t have plans!”
“Well, actually I do…”
“See, I knew it.” he said, chest fallen. “I should’ve called first.”
“No Max,” she said, putting her arms around his neck. “I meant I have plans with you.” She gave him a look and then asked, “Unless you didn’t want to do anything.”
“No! I love spending time with you, 99!” he blurted, before turning red.
99 kissed his cheek, purring into his ear, “I love spending time with you too, Max.”
“What…whadda wanna do?” Max whispered, finding his voice after a pause.
“We can go to the art museum.” she said, her eyes lighting up. “They’re having a French artist tour this afternoon.”
“The art museum?” Max tried to hide his disappointment and dislike. Art museum sounded nothing at all like amusement park.
“You don’t want to go?” she asked, seeing his look.
Two things happened to Maxwell Smart. His brain sent a message to his vocal chords to send to his lips that he’d rather go to the amusement park and had an argument against it all ready. In another part of his body, namely in his chestal region, his heart also sent a message to his vocal chords to send to his lips on how he would love to spend the afternoon with 99 anywhere as long as she was happy.
“Really Max?” she asked, her face softening at his words.
The look on her face confused him. What exactly did he say? He hoped it was the thing about the amusement park. He nodded slowly, causing her to blush slightly. “Let me get my key and lock the door, okay?”
99 smiled as she walked in, grabbed her keys, and came out, locking the door. Turning she saw Max’s face and her smile faded. He looked slightly upset. Maybe it was the art museum, she thought. You didn’t even ask him if he wanted to go to the art museum. Good job, spy girl. “Let’s go.” She said, heading down the hall slowly.
Max was still shocked at how his day had worked out. Hands in his pockets, he trudged slowly after his fiancée. He couldn’t believe how he got talked into the art museum, the very place he didn’t want to go. What kind of fiancée are you? asked his heart. If you loved her, you’d actually want to do stuff SHE wants to do. Max nodded. He’s right, he thought. Often times, 99 ALWAYS did what HE wanted to do. It was incredibly rare they did what SHE wanted. Well, today and from now on would be different. He had nearly lost this girl once and now that he finally got her, it would just be a hit to his pride if he were to lose her.
“This is gonna be a great day, huh, 99?” he asked, a new purpose now in his head.
99 looked over in surprise. She had been in her own little world and hadn’t notice Max catching up to her. “I guess it will be, Max.” she said.
“Sure it will!” he exclaimed. Grabbing her hand in his and giving her a smile, he asked, “Know why?”
99 shook her head, a small smile forming at her lips.
Pulling her closer, he said, “Cause we’ll be together, that’s why.”
The couple walked hand in hand towards the garage where Max parked. As they walked down the stairs, Max released her hand in order to throw his arm around her shoulders. Upon reaching the car, 99 gave him a long, but chaste, kiss before getting into the car.
The secret agent only nodded, his mind in a daze.