The Smarts’ Big Adventure
It was a bright and sunny morning on that Friday. Chief Maxwell Smart of CONTROL had just awoken to the smell of bacon and his wife’s perfume. He had gotten out of bed, gotten into his favorite robe, and headed downstairs to the kitchen.
There, he found his favorite girl. He smiled at the attractive woman who stood at the breakfast table. The woman looked up from reading a story in the day’s paper and smiled at Max.
“Morning, Max.” she said, sweetly. “How’s it feel having a day off?”
Max walked over to the woman and put his arms around her waist. “That depends on what time you’ll be coming home.” He replied, nuzzling the woman’s neck.
“Depends on how your luck holds out, Mr. Smart.” 99 said, giving him a seductive grin.
Max loved having days off, especially when 99 wasn’t too busy at the Congress building. That meant she could come home early and spend all her time with him.
“I have a feeling today’s my lucky day.” Max kissed her cheek.
The two would’ve been contended to just stand and flirt inside their kitchen, if their son hadn’t walked in, with a large smile on his face. “Morning!” He declared, causing his parents to break apart slightly.
“I think my luck’s just run out.” Max muttered, glaring at Zach. He was starting to think his son was out to get him.
“Good morning, Zachary.” 99 replied.
Zach knew he had probably come at a bad time. His parents only called him Zachary when he had walked into something private. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose. He just had bad timing.
“Hey,” he said, smelling the air. “Do I smell waffles?”
“No.” 99 said.
“Could I smell waffles?”
99 rolled her eyes and moved out of Max’s embrace and headed over to the waffle iron. Zach came over and sat down at the table.
“Zachary, don’t you have a home?” Max asked, rather annoyed that his son had once again managed to disrupt a moment between him and his wife.
“Yes and I was just there.” Zach replied, rather hurt.
“In fact, don’t you have a wife who will make you waffles?” Max asked, taking a seat.
“Yes and she made me bacon, eggs, and cereal.”
“You mean you just ate?” 99 asked, turning from the counter. She really couldn’t believe how much food her son could pack away and the fact it didn’t even touch him…it just gave him muscles and made him stronger.
“Then why are you here?” Max asked.
“I’m still hungry!” the man exclaimed.
This comment didn’t seem to faze his parents at all. “Is there anything else you wanted, Zachary?” Max asked, taking a piece of bacon from the plate on the table. “In fact, shouldn’t you be at work right now? I did leave you in charge.”
“Well, I put Max in charge while I came over here.” Zach said, smiling as 99 brought him a plate of waffles. “I wanted to know how your day off was.”
“It was fine, until you showed up.”
“Boys,” 99 interrupted, not wanting her two favorite men to get into a heated fight. “I’m going to late for work.” She kissed Max on the forehead. “I’ll see you later.”
She kissed Zach on the temple before leaving the kitchen. The men turned their attention back to each other.
“So what’re you planning on doing, Dad?” Zach asked, taking a bite of his waffles and then putting a piece of bacon in his mouth.
“I haven’t decided yet,” Max admitted. He did have some chores he probably should do. “How’s things at CONTROL?”
“Pretty good when I called in.” Zach put another fork full of waffles in his mouth and drank it down with a glass of juice.
“Well, if things are going pretty good, why don’t you take the day off?” Max asked. After Zach became the father of twins a couple of months ago, Max tried to keep Zach away from most dangerous cases.
“I’m sure you’d love to spend time with Trace and the twins.”
“Too late.” Zach said. “That’s why I called in this morning. Tracie’s visiting her brother and taking the twins with her. So I’ve got nothing to do.”
“Okay then.” Max said, finishing his coffee. “You and I can spend some time together. It’s been a while since we’ve had a boy’s day out. You can keep me company.”
Zach smiled at the idea. It had been a while since he and Max spent some alone time together. Usually both were working or Zach was busy with newfound fatherhood. It would be great to spend some time with his dad.
“Give your sister a call and tell her she’s in charge today.” Zach got up from the table, still chomping on a piece of bacon, to call his sister at CONTROL headquarters.
“Hello, Max.” He said, mouthful of food. “It’s me, Zach.”
“Oh yes,” Maxine replied. She was sitting at her father’s desk, playing a game of chess with Dr. Austin Parker. “I thought I recognized the familiar chewing. You must be at the house.”
“Ha ha.” Zach replied, sarcastically. “Look, Dad says I can have the day off too, so you’re in charge of the store.”
“Fine by me.” The woman said, moving her knight to take Parker’s rook. “If anything happens, I can call you at Mom and Dad’s?”
“Sure, we’ll be here.” Zach said.
“Stay out of trouble, you two.” Maxine replied, her grin slowly fading as Parker replied, rather smoothly, “Checkmate.”
Zach hung up the phone and grabbed his car keys from the table. “I’ll be right back, Pop.” He said, finishing off the bacon and the rest of his waffles. “I’m gonna go home and change real quick and see if Tracie’s left yet.”
“Alright.” Max said, washing dishes. “Use your key when you come back.” Zach nodded his head and headed out the kitchen door.
“Mrs. Smart, how would you like to go to Atlanta?”
This was asked by the president himself. 99 had gotten to her office, just to turn back around and head for the White House. She now sat in front of his desk, confused as to the question he was asking.
“Atlanta, Georgia?” she asked, quizzically. “What for?”
“Well, I have this package to give to the admiral on base down there.” The president replied, holding up a small package from his desk.
“Couldn’t you just mail it?” 99 asked. “UPS has some pretty good packaging rates. Fed Ex is pretty good as well.”
“This has to be a special delivery.” The president said. “I know this is short notice, but if you do this for me, you can have the rest of the week off. Guaranteed.” 99 was a bit apprehensive about the whole thing, but even she couldn’t argue with a whole week off.
“Sure.” She said, shrugging her shoulders. “What’s in the package?”
“It’s video footage of enemy war games.”
“Every nuclear country and their mothers would love to get their hands on something like that.” 99 surmised.
“Exactly.” The president replied. “That’s why I want you to take this down there. No one would suspect you in the least. I’ll even give you my plane to use.”
“You mean Air Force One?” 99 asked in surprise. This must be one heck of a video! The president laughed at her suggestion.
“Oh no.” he said. “That’s MY personal plane. But I have tons of luxury planes that you can use. How about the Soaring Eagle? That’s a nice comfy plane.” 99 nodded, as she reached for the package. “Listen, Mrs. Smart,” the president replied, keeping the package out of reach. “This is a pretty dangerous thing. I know you can take care of yourself and everything, but I’d feel much better if you got your husband or someone at CONTROL to escort you there and back.”
“I’m sure that can be arranged, sir.” The president finally handed over the package to 99. “I’ll drop by there on my way to the hanger.”
“Be careful, Mrs. Smart.”
“Don’t worry, Mr. President. Nothing is going to happen to this video tape.” 99 turned to leave, but ran into someone coming in. She ended up dropping the package with the videotape. She bent down, picked up the package, and turned back to look at the president.
“Slippery little package, isn’t it?” She asked. She then left. The president shook his head.
“Of all the men in the world, she had to marry the world’s biggest klutz. And what’s worse! She picked up his habits!”
Maxine and Parker were playing yet another game of chess when 99 walked into the office. “Hi Mom.” Maxine said, looking up.
“Hi Mrs. Smart.” Parker replied.
“Hey.” 99 walked over and leaned on the desk, watching the game of wits take place. “Your brother’s still not back from our house yet?” 99 asked, looking around slightly for Zach.
“He’s not coming.” Maxine said, watching the board and planning her next move. “Dad gave him the day off cause it’s so slow around here.”
“He did?” 99 asked. “I wish he hadn’t done that.”
“Why?” Parker asked, watching as Maxine took his knight. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing big.” 99 replied, not wanting to upset the two. “The president just wanted me to drop off this package in Atlanta today and he wanted me to get an agent to escort me.”
“Well, I’ll do it, Mom.” Maxine replied, taking another one of Parker’s
“No, that’s okay.” 99 said. “Besides, you have to watch CONTROL.”
“I can get Austin to do it.” Maxine said, taking Austin’s queen. “You’d do it, wouldn’t you, Austin?”
“Of course, Max.” Austin said, moving his knight into position. “Anything for you. Oh, and by the way, checkmate.”
Maxine gave Austin a glare, before standing up and getting her stuff. “Whenever you’re ready, Mom.”
“Sure you don’t mind?”
“Nah,” Maxine said, placing her watch on her wrist. “Besides, it’s been a while since we’ve done anything together. It’ll be like a girl’s day out.”
99 admitted that did sound like a good idea. She and Maxine hadn’t had a moment alone together for a long time now. They could sneak a moment here and there, but actual girl talk could be interrupted by anything, especially in the spy business.
“Okay.” 99 said finally. “Let’s roll.” The girls were about to leave, when Maxine stopped to look at Parker.
“You know, you could’ve let me win at least one game today.” Parker smiled at her, while he took a seat at the desk.
“Sorry, darling.” He said. Maxine gave Parker a grin of her own.
“Not as sorry as you’ll be.” She said, an evil gleam in her eye.
Austin’s smile quickly faded, as the Smart women left the office.