Impostors are Human, but Normalcy is Divine
It had been a busy day for Max and 99. They each had to verify that it wasn’t them who were stealing top secret documents and handing them over to KAOS. Luckily, CONTROL was able to retrieve most of the stolen documents that Vance and Victoria Neil had stolen and taken pictures of.
As for the Neils, poor Vance would be buried on Thursday, with the standard KAOS funeral. Victoria had been taken to the hospital, then transferred to the Women’s Penitentiary.
“Well, most everything was recovered.” Max announced, hanging up the phone. “I just got off the phone with Adm. Meira. And best of all,” he said, rubbing 99’s shoulder. “We’re off the hook.”
“That’s great, you guys.” 66 replied. “It’ll be certainly great having no more secrets in the office.”
“And speaking of secrets,” 22 replied, putting his arm around 99. “Don’t you think we should tell them
our little secret?”
99 rolled her eyes in annoyance. “For the last time, 22,” she said, trying to hold her temper in check. “It was not me who was trying to seduce you. It was Victoria Neil pretending to be me.”
“Really?” asked Max.
“Y…” she began, before looking at Max.
“I’m just checking,” he mumbled.
“Oh.” 22 said, removing his arm. “Well, in that case, I gotta go Chief. I gotta make it down to the
Washington Women’s Penitentiary.”
“What for?” Zach asked.
“Visiting hours are only until five.”
The man rushed out of the office, with the quartet staring after him, in amazement and awe.
Later that night, the Smarts were back in the house they shared and loved. The same thing happened every night. 99 sat in bed, reading a magazine, while Max was brushing his teeth in the bathroom. 99 put the magazine down and looked at the clock. It was one minute until 9:15pm. She sat back and counted.
Max leaned his head out of the bathroom doorway and replied, “Hey, 99, I’ve got an idea…”
“Sponge bath, Max?” 99 asked, smiling.
The same scene took place just about every night, at 9:15. Max came out and leaned against the door jam. “Well, 99,” he said, playfully, winking at her. “I was going to ask if you wanted one, but now that you mention it, I am feeling kinda…dirty.”
99 smiled at the man. He was so cute and adorable. That’s why she hated to say what she had to say. “No
Max shrugged his shoulders. He figured the more he asked, she would just have to say yes one day. All he had to do was wear her down.
He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her. He set the alarm and was about to turn the light out, when he thought of something else.
“You know,” he said, glancing over his shoulder and with a grin on his face. “The other 99 called me Daddy.” 99 saw the smile on his face and figured two could play at this.
“I’m not calling you Daddy, Max.” she said, watching as his cocky little smile vanished.
“Yeah, well,” he said, turning to face her. “At least I got a cool nickname out of it.”
99 smirked at him and went in for the kill. She casually went back to reading her magazine. “The other
Max called me his ‘celestial fantasy'” she replied.
“His what?” Max exclaimed. He wasn’t sure what he was angrier with. The fact that she got the better name or the fact that his double had hit on her.
“Why do you always get the cool nicknames?” His anger subsided a little and he started to pout. “I want a cool nickname.”
“You mean you don’t like ‘daddy’?” 99 asked, grinning.
“Compared with cel…celest…compared with starry fantasy?” he complained.
99 had lost, even though Max didn’t know it. He was just so cute and adorable. “Aw, Max,” she said, seeing he was really hurt by the whole event. “You’re my knight in shining armor.” She replied, kissing his cheek.
“Really, 99?” he asked, staring in her gorgeous blue eyes. Mentally, he was trying to think of something that would top the other Max. “You’re not just saying that to pity me, are you?”
“Of course not, Max.” She kissed his lips and gave him another kiss on the cheek.
“That’s nice.” He sighed, running his fingers through her hair. “And you know what, 99? You’re my voluptuous cherub.”
She pushed away from him slightly, with a quizzical look on her face. “I’m your fat angel?” she asked.
“No!” Max exclaimed, knowing he had made a huge mistake with that one. “No, no, I’m not saying that! I’m saying…”
Max took a deep breath and then calmly said, “You know what, 99? Let’s forget that last bit. You’re my cupcake. You’re my sweetheart. Apple of my eye, light of my life. The sun, moon, and stars…”
Max never got the chance to finish, as his lips were involved in something much more important.