My Bounty Lies Over the Atlantic


My Bounty Lies Over the Atlantic


Setting: The Washington docks. In a nearby bar, a gentleman walks in wearing black jeans, a blue turtleneck, a black beanie, and a long black overcoat covering him. We then see the man as being Zachary Smart, Agent 78 of CONTROL. He walks in the bar and sits down on a stool at the bar itself. Soon, another
man joined him and we see it’s Maxwell Smart, Chief of CONTROL. The two men look around their surroundings.

Max: Sweet and low. Sweet and low.

Zach: Wind of the western seas.

Max: Low, low, breathe, and grow.

Both: [singing in harmony] Wind of the western seas.

Zach: Dad, is that you? [look from Max] [to Max] I have to be for sure.

Max: What’ve you found out?

Zach: Adm. Grant Jennings headed out for an evening ride on his boat over two hours ago.

Max: Is that all? That doesn’t sound very important.

Zach: Jennings hasn’t been seen or heard from since he left. And…he has the top-secret plans for the Navy’s experimental sub in his pocket.

Max: You’re kidding, right?

Zach: I wish I were.

Max: And Jennings hasn’t been seen since he left. [Zach nods] We’ve got to find Jennings. [gets up and
goes to pay phone]

Zach: [also goes to phone] What’re you doing?

Max: I’m calling someone.

Zach: Well, obviously. [watches Max dial] Who’re you calling?

Max: Anyone who’s in the office. [on phone] Hello. This is the Chief speaking. [pause] Who? Oh, hello 22. Hey, listen, have you heard anything about Adm. Jennings? Alright. [to Zach] He told me to hold.

Zach: Dad, I don’t think we have to worry. Adm. Jennings is a very cautious man. I’m sure he’s perfectly fine.

Max: [on phone] Well? [pause] HE’S WHERE?! [everyone in the bar turns to look] [on phone] We’ll be there as fast as possible, 22. Thanks. [hangs up] [to Zach] Adm. Jennings is in the hospital.

Zach: Oh. Well, maybe he’s not as well as I predicted.



Setting: The Washington Memorial Hospital. Team Smart stood in the living room, waiting for word on the condition of Adm. Grant Jennings of the Navy.

Max: [pacing] He has to be okay. He just really has to be okay.

Maxine: I didn’t think you’d feel so strongly, Daddy.

Max: [stops pacing] Jennings is the third naval official to end up in the hospital. Of course, I’m concerned, but more importantly…

Zach: Jennings has or HAD the blue prints to the experimental new navy sub.

Max: [pacing] If anything’s happened to those plans, we’re in big trouble. So much trouble, it’s not funny how much trouble we could be in. Immense amounts of trouble. Big, large trouble.

Just then, the doctor on the case walked in.

Max: Well?

Doctor: Good news, Mr. Smart. Adm. Jennings just sustained minor injuries, but he should be alright.

Zach: Can we see him?

Doctor: I don’t know why…[Max and Zach rush out] [watches them leave]

99: Could we have the room number please?

Doctor: Room 217. It’s down the hall to the right.

66: Thank you, Doctor.

The rest of the group went to go look for the room, just as Max and Zach come running back. Before
they can even stop their momentum, 99 tells them the room number and they go off again. When the rest of TS gets to the room, Max and Zach are already talking to an awake and alert Jennings.

Jennings: I don’t know what happened, Chief. I went out on my boat with the plans and then a couple of minutes later, there was this explosion.

Zach: Did you see anything? Anyone?

Jennings: I did notice a small bleep on my screen, like a submerged sub.

Max: Maybe that’s what hit you.

99: How odd for there to be a sub in the water at that time.

Jennings: I thought so too. So I called it in, but my radio stopped working. It was being jammed by something. After that, I couldn’t tell you what happened.

Max: Well, thank you, Admiral. I assure you, we’ll get to the bottom of this. Come on, gang. [TS leaves]

TS leaves the room and start to talk as they start leaving the hospital.

Zach: Dad, if what Jennings said is true, we have a USS on our hands!

Maxine: A USS?

Zach: Unidentified Swimming Sub.

Max: I want to see you guys in my office bright and early tomorrow.

Zach: Right, Pop. [Jr. members leave]

Max: 99, what can you tell me about the Navy’s new project?

99: Just that it’s a new, experimental, top-secret sub. I know about as much as you do. It’s so hush-hush, it took the president weeks to find out what it was.

Max: Hmmm…

99: What’re you thinking?

Max: I’m thinking Jennings was torpedoed by an enemy sub.

99: Interesting theory.

Max: You don’t like my theory?

99: I love your theory! It’s the same theory I was thinking, but in theory, it’s just a theory.

Max: Point taken, 99.

99: If Jennings was hit by a torpedo, why? What was the motive?

Max: Well, before you all got there, Jennings said the plans he had are probably at the bottom of the
ocean by now.

99: Which would ultimately defeat a purpose for getting the plans, right?

Max: I don’t know, 99. But I’m certainly going to find out. [pause] Or at least give it a really good shot.

Max and 99 leave the front of hospital, get in their car, and drive off. We go back to the doctors’
office, where we see the doctor that treated Jennings on the phone with someone.

Doctor: [on phone] Jennings says after the explosion, the plans must’ve fallen overboard. Smart and his team are starting to get ideas. [pause] I heard them talking before they left. If KAOS wants those plans, they had better get to them fast. What should I do with Jennings? [pause] [pulls out syringe] That can be arranged.


Setting: The office of Chief Maxwell Smart. The members of TS, except for Agent 99, were seated in front of Max’s desk.

Max: Listen, gang. 99 and I went all over this last night and we have a theory. We think…

Zach: Wait a minute, Dad. Is this top-secret?

Max: Of course! Everything we discuss in here is top-secret.

Zach: So, this is a potential high access case, right?

Max: [suspicious] Meaning what?

Zach: Well, we have to be on our guard at all times, make sure our communications with each other are
safe from the prying ears of…

Max: You want to use the Cone of Silence.

Zach: Can we? [the others nod their heads in disagreement]

Max: Zach, if we use the Cone of Silence, how will Maxine, 66, and Parker know the theory?

Zach: We’ll rotate! Dad, it says, in the CONTROL Spy Manual, section five, paragraph four, subsection two, line twenty-five, that in order…

Max: [annoyed] Yeah, yeah. Spare us the knowledge of the CONTROL Spy Manual. We’ll use the Cone of Silence.

Both men sit down and Max lowers the Cone of Silence. Before either man can talk, music can be heard inside the COS.

Zach: What’s your plan, Pop?

Max: What?

Zach: I said, what’s your plan?

Max: I’m sorry, Zach. I can’t hear you with all this music.

Zach: What’s that?

Max: I said, I can’t hear with the music!

Zach: You’ll have to speak up, Dad. This music’s drowning you out.

Max raises the cone of silence and both he and Zach sit there looking at it.

Max: [looks at Zach] That was odd. The COS never does that.

66: What was that?

Zach: My guess would be Pat Boone.

66: [rolling eyes] What do you think Chief?

Max: Pat Boone would be my guess as well, 66.

66: I meant…[annoyed] Nevermind. About your theory, Chief.

Max: Oh yeah. Well, 99 and I have this theory and it goes like this. Jennings was the third naval officer to be put in the hospital after a boating accident of some kind, right? Well, 99 and I think that the other two were just mistakes and Jennings was the one they really wanted.

Parker: Because of the plans Jennings had.

Max: Right.

Zach: But, Dad, that doesn’t explain why the ship was blown to shreds. Why blow the ship up BEFORE taking the plans from Jennings?

Max: Yeah, that’s where your mother and I got to as well. The whole thing doesn’t make any sense, to tell you the truth. [phone rings] We need a really good lead on this case. [picks up] CONTROL headquarters, this is the Chief. Oh, hi, 99. [pause] You’ve what? [pause] This is why I married you. [pause] [smiling] Well, that too. Thanks, sweetheart. [hangs up]

Maxine: What’s up, Dad?

Max: Your mother’s got two leads for us to follow. One is at 5125 Baker’s Ave and the other one is at the Greenfield Apartments.

Zach: Which one are you going to, Dad?

Max: Your mother’s meeting me at the Greenfield Apartments.

Parker: The girls and I can go check out the house address.

Max: Alright. I’ll have Agent 22 meet you guys there. This is the break we could be waiting for.

The two teams split up and head out. First up, Max and Zach head over to the Greenfield Apartments. The name fit the place. Green apartment building, green fields covering the grounds, it looked like paradise in a cozy apartment complex. The two men meet 99 in the lobby and head upstairs to the second floor.

99: The man’s name is Victor Spayne, a known KAOS hitman. I got word he’s the one who gave the mysterious sub directions to Jennings coordinates and…he was at the marina where Jennings left and when the other officers left as well.

The trio stopped at apartment number 269 and Max knocked on the door.

Max: Spayne, this Maxwell Smart. We know you’re in there. Open this door in the next three minutes or we’re going to break it down.

99: Isn’t that a little extreme, Max? Couldn’t we just get the landlady?

Max: 99, please. This is no time to get sentimental about our suspect.

99: I’m not! I’m just saying…

Max: Besides, I saw the landlady. That little old granny couldn’t break this door down!

Zach: Pop, it’s been three minutes.

Max: [to door] Alright. That’s it. You leave us no choice. [to Zach] Come on.

The two men back up to the opposite side of the hall.

Max: On three. Ready? One…two…three!

Both men charge at the door. From the other side of the door, we hear the large thump, but the door remains up. On the other side, Max was sitting on the floor and Zach was on the floor, both holding their shoulders. 99 looks at them both and then knocks on the door.

99: [to door] Open up, it’s me.

The door opens and a man comes to the door. Instantly, 99 knocks him out and the man falls backwards on to the floor. Zach and Max look at her in awe.

Zach: [on his knees] I could’ve done that.

Max: [standing] That’s why I married her.

99: [sarcastically] You mean it wasn’t for my money or devastating good looks? [walks in room]

Max: Those were the main reasons, darling.

The trio walk in the apartment. Max bends over Spayne and tries to revive him. The man soon awoke and was seated in a chair at the table.

Max: Well, Mr. Spayne, looks like we meet again.

Spayne: We’ve never met, Smart.

Max: Oh. Well, then…it looks like we met again…for the first time. [confused]

99: What do you know about the recent ship bombings?

Spayne: I ain’t talking!

Zach: [drawing gun] What do you know about the recent ship bombings?

Spayne: You’ll have to kill me first.

Max: What do you know about the recent ship bombings?

Spayne: KAOS is responsible. They hired me to be a look out.

Zach: [putting gun away] That was easy.

Max: Too easy.

99: Why’d you tell us?

Spayne: I just hate being asked the same question three times. It irks me.

Max: Well, that explains it then. [to Spayne] What’s KAOS up to?

Spayne: I’ve talked enough.

Max: [annoyed] What’s KAOS up to?

Spayne: You won’t get nothing out of me!

Max: What is KAOS up to?

Spayne: [sighs] Right. Three times. KAOS is hoping to get top-secret plans from the navy by the passing

99: So KAOS is using a sub to torpedo the ships?

Spayne: I’m not saying anymore!

Zach: [very annoyed] Do we really have to ask you another two more times?

Spayne: You might as well kill me. I won’t talk.

The three are very annoyed at this pet peeve, but continue on.

Max: [annoyed] Is KAOS using a sub to blow up passing ships?

Spayne: Die, you government pig!

Max: There’s no need to get nasty. I was asking a simple question.

99: Which just happen to be three times.

Spayne: No, it wasn’t. [getting up] You see, you asked if KAOS was using a sub to torpedo the ships. Then your son asked if it was necessary to ask another two more times. That implies a change in the line of questioning, so I actually have only gotten two questions, because the second was clearly another line of questioning.

As Spayne continued to talk, a mysterious car with a mysterious driver sat at the bottom of the complex
and watched through the window of Spayne’s apartment. He then removed a gun with a silencer on it. The scene moves back to Spayne explaining why the second question was invalid.

Zach: Okay, so if I asked is KAOS using a sub to blow up the passing ships that would considered the third question?

99: No, Zach because of the fact that you just asked a question in a question.

Spayne: Exactly! You’d have to basically ask me if KAOS is using subs to blow the ships.

Max: So, is KAOS using a sub to blow up ships?

Spayne: [to Max] Yes! [to Zach] See, your father asked me point blank and there for I had to answer yes, because, of course that’s what KAOS is using the sub for, but if he had asked another question with that question inside…

Just then, the shooter in the car took his shot. Spayne stopped dead in his sentence and slowly fell
to the floor. The three looked at the body and then towards the window and rushed over. The car was speeding off before the three could look at the driver.

Zach: Great. Our best lead is lying dead in his apartment and our killer has drove off. What now?

Max: Let’s just hope Parker and the girls have something.

The scene changes to a row of houses on Baker’s Ave. Across the street were Parker, 66, Maxine, and
Agent 22.

Parker: So you say you’ve been here for approximately thirty minutes and only one person went in?

22: And he hasn’t come out yet.

66: Maybe this is a wild goose chase. What if he’s not our guy?

22: I saw him, 66. The guy went in there as Jacques Benoir, international jewel thief.

Maxine: Are you sure about that, 22? Benoir was rumored to have been arrested and killed in the South of France last year.

22: I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes I’m not exactly the levelest of heads, but I tell you, Max, that the guy who went in that door [points to door] is definitely Jacques Benoir.

Parker: How do we proceed, Tracie?

66: I say we check out that door. If 22’s right, we’ll have more on our hands than just a couple of ships being destroyed.

The four walk across the street and up the steps to the door. Parker knocked and getting no answer,
decided he and 22 would break it down. The men stood back on the top step and ran into the door. The door opened and the men fell through to the alley behind the door.

Maxine: [to 66] I don’t want to alarm you, Trace, but I have a feeling this is a KAOS front.


Setting: Back in the Chief’s office. The two groups came back to tell each other they had found nothing.

Parker: So we bust through the door and there’s only an alley behind it.

Zach: Great. We’re back to square one.

Max: Not necessarily. I have a plan and I think it just might work. See, what we’ll do…

Zach: Um…Dad.

Max: Yes?

Zach: Is this a…top-secret plan?

Max: Zachary…do you remember earlier when we used the Cone of Silence?

Zach: Yes…

Max: Was there or was there not music, to which we believe to be from Pat Boone, playing in the Cone of

Zach: Yes…

Max: I rest my case. [to group] As I was saying, if I could get two volunteers to go and board a nice navy yacht and perhaps go out and wait for something to happen, it would be highly appreciated.

Zach: That’s not a bad plan, Pop, but who’re you going to get to volunteer?

Max: Well, whoever it is, has to be brave, strong, intelligent…

Zach: [whispers to Maxine] He’s talking about me.

Max: And not afraid to die if something goes horribly and terribly wrong.

Zach: [whispers to Maxine] I was wrong. He’s talking about you.

Max: In fact, how about this? Anyone who wants to do a suicide mission, raise your hand.

The five agents sat unsure of what to do. Maxine finally had a plan and reached over and started tickling Zach’s ear. Zach rose his hand to make it stop and Max saw it.

Max: Great! My first volunteer!

Zach looked at his hand and then at Max, back at his hand and then at his sister, who was looking around as though she didn’t do anything.

66: I’ll volunteer, Chief.

Max: Thank you, 66. I want you and Zach to meet down at the marina [looks at watch] in about an hour.

66: Right. Come on, Zach.

Zach: [to Maxine] You’re going to pay for this, baby sister. Mark my words, there’ll be heads to roll.
[starts to leave]

Maxine: Bye bye Zach. Miss me! [Zach and 66 leave] What’re we doing, Dad?

Max: The three of you are going to talk to Adm. Jennings about where he thinks he left those plans.

Parker: Is he still in the hospital, Chief?

Max: I think so. He might be getting out today.

Maxine: On our way, Dad. [trio leave]

Max: 99…

99: Yes, Max?

Max: 99…[pause] You don’t have a really good theory to all this, do you?

99: I’m still clinging to the one we came up with. It makes sense, Max, but we just need to find out what KAOS is up to!

Max: You know, 99, at times like these I wish I was a fly. That way, I could fly to KAOS headquarters and listen in on their conversations. Of course, that wouldn’t work out being Chief and all.

The scene changes to an underwater submarine. Inside, a crew wearing all black kept busy by reading coordinates and such. At the periscope, stood a man wearing black jeans, a green shirt and a leather jacket over.

He wore a naval hat, but it was backwards so he could see. When he moves, we see it’s Conrad Siegfried, Jr., the head of KAOS.

Agent: Our plans are working nicely, Heir Siegfried.

Junior: Of course. Most things do when I’m in charge. Have we taken care of…our two helpers?

Agent: Yes, sir. Both Jennings and Spayne have been…[smiles] helped.

Junior: Excellent. You know, Agent Hess, I think you’ll be giving some sort of award this year at the
annual KAOS banquet.

Hess: Thank you. It’s always a pleasure to serve under a great leader like yourself.

Junior: I know.

Agent: Sir, I’m getting word from our contact at the marina. [pause] He says the Chief, Agent 66, and
Zachary Smart are there as we speak.

The scene switches to the marina, where Zach and 66 are listening to Max. The three stand by a blue and white boat called the El Amador.

Max: You two are to drive this boat to these coordinates. [hands 66 paper]

66: Are these the coordinates from Jennings boat?

Max: One in the same. I got word
the boat is still in minor condition, which means the plans may still be
on board. I want you to find that boat.

Zach: Don’t worry, Pop. As you know, I’m an expert sailor and commander of the seas.

Zach goes to lean on the boat, but realizes there’s no boat there. He instantly falls in the water
and starts to tread.

Zach: [to Max and 66] Just testing the water out. [pause] It’s fine. We can start the boat now.

A few minutes later, the El Amador was leaving the dock, with 66 at the wheel. Zach came up from
below in his swim trunks and started looking for anything with these small binoculars.

66: [sees Zach] What’re those?

Zach: Prof. Harper’s infer-red binoculars. They act like regular binoculars, but it lets you see any object, as long as it’s metallic or creates heat. [starts to look at 66] They’re very lovely.

66: [looks at Zach] Do you mind?

Zach: [still looking] Not at all.

66: [steering] Get those binoculars off your face or you’ll eating them. [Zach quickly puts binoculars down]

Suddenly a beeping noise started coming from the boat.

Zach: What’s that?

66: Prof. Harper’s electronic beeper. Almost like a metal detector.

Zach: This guy’s really good with the out of the ordinary.

66: We should be coming up on Jennings’ boat now.

Zach and 66 quickly got to the area where the boat was supposed to be. When they got there, they
saw a completely, untouched boat just sitting in the water. They both looked and immediately thought something was strange.

66: Zach, I thought Jennings’ boat had blown up and all that was left was a small lifeboat.

Zach: Well…either Jennings was mistaken or…that’s the biggest lifeboat I’ve ever seen.

66: No. Something’s up.

Zach: I agree, but what if that isn’t Jennings’ boat? What if someone got lost and this is their boat and they don’t have food or water to survive on?

66: [looks at Zach] Do you believe that?

Zach: Not really. I just wanted to see if you believed it. [pause] But I still think we should check out that boat.

66: I agree.

The duet’s boat soon was sitting right next to the found boat. The boat was black and had the name St. Louis Blues. The two boarded the boat and started looking around. The boat had little damage, but probably had seen better days.

Zach checked the radio and indeed it was broken. Zach checked everywhere and finally found some id that suggested this was indeed Jennings’ boat. Just then, 66 called from below and Zach went to meet her.

Zach: What’s up?

66: [holds up microfilm] Look what I found.

Zach: Well, I could say Stanley Livingston, but you wouldn’t believe me.

66: If this is what I think it is…

Zach: The navy won’t have to have a bake sale. How clever. Putting everything on microfilm. Very sheik.

Just then, the boat was hit and started to rock back and forth.

66: What was that?

Zach: I don’t know and I’d really hate to find out.

Again, the boat was hit by something and started to rock.

66: I don’t think we have much of a choice.

The two rushed topside, but didn’t see a thing. Zach took out his binoculars and started searching the water. Just then, he saw what looked like a submarine in the water coming right for them!



Setting: Adm. Grant Jennings’ boat, the St. Louis Blues. Zach had seen what he thought was a sub coming straight at them.

Zach: [handing 66 binoculars] 66, tell me I’m crazy and that you don’t see a ten ft. sub coming this way.

66: [looks] Not crazy, Zach. I see it too.

Voice: [from behind] Hands up!

Zach and 66 look at each other and slowly raise their hands. The two are then taken aboard the sub, only to see Junior at the helm.

Junior: Well, if it isn’t my old enemy, Agent 78 of CONTROL. Welcome to the party, Smart.

Zach: One in which we weren’t invited. I’m hurt, Junior. Really I am.

66: What’s the meaning of this and what’ve you got up your sleeve?

Junior: Lovely, adorable, incisive Agent 66. Just once, just ONCE…I’d like to be able to say something without you interrupting me. Call me a nut.

66: Alright. You’re a heartless, scum-sucking, coward of a nut.

Zach: [to 66] He didn’t want all of that. He just said call him a nut.

Junior: Thank you, Smart.

66: [to Zach] Whose side are you on?

Zach: Hey, I’d just rather not make him any madder at us then he is now.

Junior: Wanna know what I got going on? I’ll tell you. First off, those other two officers were big mistakes. We just wanted Jennings.

Zach: And the plans.

Junior: Exactly. Our friend Victor Spayne informed us wrong, until the third time he got it right.

66: But that wasn’t enough, so you had him killed.

Junior: Hey! That pet peeve of his was totally annoying. I mean three times. Come on! It took one bullet to kill him! We’re all happy about it. Anyway, as you can see, we didn’t exactly blow up the ship. Our scientists work long and hard, too you know. They don’t just sit around watching the grass grow, oh no! They’re hard at work making KAOS bigger, brighter organization. They aren’t slackers. They work around the clock to assure us that we have weapons just as good and some times even better than CONTROL’ s.

Zach: You know, this keeping up with the Jones’ mentality has got to stop. We’re just a better organization than you are…

Junior: Ha! If you’ve forgotten, Smart, I make sure my agents are paid very nicely. This is why KAOS has a better salary rate, better dental, better health…

Zach: You don’t have a better health plan.

Junior: Yes, we do. Now say you’re an agent at KAOS…

Hess: Gentlemen, you seem to be getting a tad bit off the subject.

Junior: You’re right. Sorry bout that. As I was saying, our scientist came up with invisible torpedoes. Can’t be traced by ANY equipment AND because so much electricity goes into making them, they temporarily jam the frequency of ship radios. But, the best part is, the give such a shock that it feels like you’re exploding.

66: That’s why there’s no real damage to Jennings’ boat!

Junior: We nicely threw Adm. Jennings overboard and drove him safely to a place where he wouldn’t be in
the way and started looking for those plans.

Zach: Well, Junior, you didn’t find them.

Junior: Obviously. But you did. [agents raise their guns] And we’d like those plans please.

66: Well, you won’t get them.

Zach: [whispering to 66] He won’t?

66: [to Zach] No!

Zach: [to Junior] That’s right. You won’t.

Junior: Who’s going to stop me? My guys have the guns. They are on you. There are five of us and two of

Zach: [to 66] He’s got a point, 66. Even I can’t argue with him.

66: Well, as long as I have this. [pulls out a small flashlight like object]

Zach: Not to doubt you or anything, but exactly how is that little flashlight going to help?

Junior: I agree, Miss 66, which is hard to believe, but Zachary’s got a point. That little thing won’t stand a chance against us.

66: It will when I tell you this is the new missile launcher. And though it may be small, it can put a whole in this sub the size of two elephant guns.

Zach: Where’d you get that?

66: I ordered it.

Zach: CONTROL issue?

66: Of course not! CONTROL would issue this out to us agents. I ordered it from the Detroit Missiles and Lasers Catalog.

Junior: Please! This is a trick. My men are well trained and can stand up to your little tootsie roll.

Hess: Yes, but we weren’t trained to withstand the blast from two elephant guns.

Junior turns around and sees the agents have dropped their guns and have their hands up.

Junior: Babies! [turns back around] [to Zach] Well, Smart, it seems you have captured me.

Zach: [nods] Okay, Pop, you can come in!

Suddenly, a group of CONTROL agents enter, with Max in the lead.

Max: You alright?

Zach: Fine, Dad.

66: [looks at Zach, then Max, then at Zach] Where did he come from!?

Zach: I was wired.

66: You were what? Why didn’t you tell me?

Zach: You didn’t tell me about that elephant gun thingie!

Max: What?

66: [annoyed] We’ll talk later, Zach.

Junior: I must admit, Smart, I was caught completely by surprise.

Zach: Well, Junior, there’s a saying in the spy business. “Expect the unexpected.” You always have to
be on your guard, especially against me.

Junior: [annoyed] I’m sure you’re right. [starts to go, but is stopped]

Zach: Wait a minute, Junior. Before you go. I have one more question to ask you. [pause] Now, about your health plan…

Junior: See, it’s like this. Let’s pretend you’re a KAOS spy. In KAOS, you get free funeral, free service, a membership to FDS, before you die of course.

Zach: Really? Here, wait. Let me write this down. [gets pen and paper]

Junior: Now, if you die under usual circumstances…

Zach: Uh huh.