Passenger 99
SETTING: The Washington Congress building. In the office of the Vice-President, sitting around a table are the important heads of Washington, including Mrs. Maxwell Smart. They sit talking about the plans for the TS-88, a device that will enable the US government to sneak into their enemies’ headquarters and listen to plans for destruction or war by means of a portable microphone the size of a magnet.
VP: Ladies and gentleman, we need to get these plans from Washington to Los Angeles, where our top scientist will perfect and dry- run the TS-88. Unfortunately, the evil organization KAOS has already stopped and killed three of our best operatives. We need some kind of plan to get our agent to LA without any threat from KAOS.
99: Couldn’t we use a decoy? Someone who would pose as the carrier, but while KAOS is chasing him, the agent will be headed towards LA.
Senator: We can’t take that risk. What if our decoy man is found out by KAOS? We would have lost two men for the price of one!
99: Well, there must be some way to get past KAOS.
VP: There probably is. I just wish we knew how.
Cut to the CONTROL building and the office of Chief Maxwell Smart. Max is on the phone and is writing something down on a piece of paper on his desk. Agent 78, Zachary Smart, walks through the automatic door. Zach stands at his father’s desk and waits patiently while his father finishes his phone conversation.
Max: (waves Zach to sit down) (on phone) Whenever you get the information, 99. I have Zach here right now. (to Zach) Your mother says hi. (to 99) No, actually. I was thinking that maybe I should do this case. (pauses) I know that, 99. You do? Okay, well call me back when you find out for sure. Okay. Goodbye, Sweetheart. (hangs up)
Zach: Was that Mom calling about that LA thing?
Max: Yes. She’s still not sure who the Vice President will pick to go, but either way, you’re assigned to this case. All you have to do is protect whoever’s going and make sure the TS-88 doesn’t wind up in KAOS’ hands.
Zach: C’mon, Pop, you know me!
Max: (looks at Zach, knowingly, then sighs) I know.
Zach: C’mon, Dad. Have I ever steered you wrong? (Max looks at him) Lately? (another stare) This week? (another stare) Today? (another look) In the last five minutes?
Max: Zach, go down to the lab and see Parker. He might have something you can use against KAOS if you get caught.
Zach: Right, Dad.
Zach goes to the side door by the wall and is about to go downstairs to the lab when he suddenly stops.
Max: Something wrong, Zach?
Zach: Yeah. I got so excited about this case, I forgot to ask you something.
Max: Well, what?
Zach: Well, I think this being for the sake of national security and all, we should use the cone of silence.
Max: (sad look on his face) Do we have to Zach? I mean, couldn’t you just tell me?
Zach: (look of shock) Dad, you of all people know the importance of national security! How can you stand there and say that the lives of over a billion people are worth nothing if it means we don’t use the cone of silence?
Max: Fine. Is it really important?
Zach: Dad, the answer to this question will put the minds of over a billion people at ease.
Max: (sits down and pushes the button for the cone of silence and brings it down) What it is it, Zach?
Zach: (looks around) Dad, what’s the TS-88?
Max: Zach, you got me in this stupid piece of junk just to ask me what the TS-88 is?!?
Zach: You don’t have to raise your voice.
Max: Zachary Thomas Smart, I can’t believe you would get me in this thing, knowing it doesn’t work right, tell me it’s for the billions of people in the world and then ask what the TS-88 is!
Zach: Would you believe the millions of people in the states?
Max: Go downstairs and talk to Parker.
Zach: Would you believe the thousands of people in Washington?
Max: Zach, get up and go see Parker in the lab!
Zach: would you believe the fifty of us that live in my apartment building?
Max: Zach!
Zach pushes the button to raise the cone of silence and rushes downstairs.
THE NEW OPENING CREDITS FOR GET SMART!!!!!
SETTING: Back in the chief’s office. By then, Agent 24, Maxine Smart, had joined her father and they were waiting for Zach to get upstairs. Zach had called up earlier from the lab to say that he found out who the carrier was. The automatic door opens and Zach runs in, very excited.
Zach: You guys will never guess what I found out!
Maxine: You know who the carrier is.
Zach: (about to speak then turns and looks at his sister) Yeah, how’d you know that?
Max: Because you just telephoned from downstairs!
Zach: Oh yeah. Anyway, you won’t believe who transporting the TS-88 to LA tomorrow.
Maxine: Well?
Zach: None other than Mrs. Maxwell Smart.
Both Maxs: WHAT!?!
Zach: I just heard it from Agent 22. The Vice President of the United States has just chosen Mrs. Maxwell Smart to deliver the TS-88 on flight 305 to Los Angeles tomorrow morning.
Maxine: That wasn’t announced on the news, was it?
Zach: No, but it was just loud enough for 22 to hear it, which means who knows what man in KAOS heard it. What are we going to do, Dad? We just can’t let Mom go off to LA with the plans for the TS-88.
Maxine: Well, you’ll be with her.
Zach: (knowingly looks at his sister) I know.
Max: We can’t let your mother go to LA tomorrow. At least not without protection. I have an idea.
Cut to the next morning. After several attempts made by Max to chance 99’s mind in going, the Smarts arrive at the airport.
99: Max, stop worrying. You said yourself that you have all the confidence in the world I’ll be coming back.
Max: Yes, 99. I did say that. I do have all the confidence in the world you’ll be coming back. Did I mention, in a hearse?
99: (sarcastically) Stop it, Max. You’re making it difficult to stay.
Max: I’m sorry, 99. I’m just a little worried that’s all.
99: Oh, Max, you know I’m a big girl now. I can take care of myself.
As the Smarts go to the stewardess at the gate entrance, a KAOS agent lurks behind one of the walls overlooking where Max and 99 stand.
99: Well, I’ll see you in two days. Don’t worry, Max. I’ve got Zach looking out for me and I really shouldn’t be in that much danger. (kisses him goodbye)
Max: All right, 99. Have a safe trip. And I mean that!
As Max watches his wife leave, the KAOS agent gives his ticket to the girl at the gate and walks down the corridor to the plane. Meanwhile, Max is walking slowly to the airport lockers.
He walks down to the very last set of lockers and knocks on the locker numbered 22. They each exchange the secret knock and when they’re done, Max awaits for the door to open.
Agent 22: Who is it?
Max: (rather annoyed) Open up, 22! It’s the Chief!
22: (opening the locker door) Hiya, Chief! What’s up?
Max: (annoyed) The sky. Do you have those clothes I asked for?
22: (pulls out a set of what seems to be an air force uniform) Here you go, Col. Smart.
Max: Thanks, 22. (takes the clothes and goes to change in the men’s rest room)
******COMMERCIAL BREAK******
SETTING: The open doors of flight 305. Passengers are handing their ticket stubs to the stewardess on board. 99 is next and looks at the stewardess and recognizes her as Agent 66. Thinking it as only a precaution by Max, 99 takes her seat.
A couple minutes later, a German couple walk by and argue over who will be sitting by the window. 99 doesn’t see their faces right away, but the woman sounds vaguely familiar. After getting settled in, 99
decides to take out a book and read. Soon the captains of the flight are announced.
Captain: Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to take time out of our flight to introduce you to the pilots of this plane. My name is Captain Bogart James and standing next to me is Captain Stanley Maxwell, Jr.
As the captains discuss the flight plans, 99 is pleasantly surprised that Zach was using Max’s old cover identity. It took her mind of the fact that he would be flying the plane.
James: Captain Maxwell and I will be taking turns meeting some of you and talking with you on how you are enjoying your flight or how we can make things better. So, don’t hesitate to pull one of us over, preferably not while we’re flying, though. (laughter) Tell us how your trip is. And without further ado, our flight. (more laughter)
99 settles back into what should seem like a normal flight, but she stops to think about the couple next to her in the aisle. 99 peers over and notices the couple in a silent conversation. Her eye caught a glimpse of the man and she finally realized who the couple was.
99: (leaning over to couple) Pardon me. (couple looks up) I couldn’t help but hear your conversation and it reminded me of the time I lived in Germany.
Woman: (in German accent) Germany, ya! That’s where we’re from!
99: (pointing to the empty seat on the aisle) May I?
Woman: Of course! Of course! (99 goes and sits) You know, Hans and I were just talking about our country. And about how we miss it and how we can’t wait to get back.
99: Well, I hate to say this but you’re going the wrong direction.
Woman: Huh?
99: Germany is back there (pointing)
Man: No, we went back there. It’s just another class. (woman and 99 look at him.)
Woman: (to 99) You must forgive my brother Hans. He’s temporally gone stupid. (hits man in the back of the head)
99: So, you’re going to LA, are you?
Woman: Yes, yes. Our….um….niece lives there. Yes, that’s right. Our niece.
99: Well, I should really get back to my seat. Oh, before I go, there’s something I wanted to tell you.
Woman: Oh? What?
99: (whispers) That is the worst accent I’ve ever heard you do.
Woman: It is?
99: Yes.
Woman: (in Spanish accent) Would you believe we’re from Spain?
99: No.
Woman: (in Irish accent) Ireland?
99: No.
Woman: (in a Philadelphia accent) Philly?
99: Maxine…
Maxine: Okay, okay, so my German’s a little rusty. Sue me.
99: I could, you know.
Maxine: (surprised) For what?
99: Stalking comes to mind.
Maxine: This isn’t stalking. This is just me, following you without your knowledge…okay, so it’s like tailing, is what it’s like.
99: Maixne, what are you doing here?
Maxine: Dad wanted us to come along to make sure nothing would happen to you.
99: I can’t believe your father would do this! You know, if he was here right now….
Maxine: He’s in the back.
99: You’re kidding.
Maxine: Last row, aisle seat, in the air force uniform.
99 turns around from where she’s sitting and sees Max, dressed in air force dress blues. He smiles at her and waves. 99 then turns back around to face front.
99: I’m going to have a little talk with your father. While I’m gone, I want you to get Captain Maxwell
and stewardess Tracie and follow me to the serving area. (gets up)
99 walks down to where Max sat and smiled.
99: Col. Smart, I presume.
Max: (looks up from his magazine)(In English accent) Ah, yes, my dear. You are correct.
99: (pointing to seat next to Max) Is anyone sitting there?
Max: Not at all.
99: Good. Move over into it.
Max moves over into the next seat and 99 takes the seat he was in.
99: Max! What are you doing here? I thought you said you had complete confidence in me!
Max: I do. I have even more, now that I’m on this plane.
99: (disappointed) Max, how could you do this?
Max: 99, I love you too much to have you be kidnapped or KILLED while taking these plans to LA!
99: Oh, Max, really! I’ve taken trips before and you’ve never worried like this!
Max: (loudly) Well that’s before you were delivering the TS-88 to LA!
99: Well, tell the world, Max!
Max: (pauses) 99, are mad at me?
99 looks at Max and gets up and leaves to go back to her seat. As she gets there, she looks up to see
Zach and 66 standing at the opening of the cockpit. She motions them over with her finger.
As she turns to go to the server area, she points at both Austin and Maxine to follow her. She points them to the back and as she follows them, they walk past Max. As they do, 99 grabs him from the front of his jacket and drags him up from his seat.
They all follow 99 behind the curtain of the sever area. 99 then turns around and closes the curtain.
******COMMERCIAL BREAK******
SETTING: Flight 305 from Washington, DC to Los Angeles, California. Congresswoman Smart has discovered four members and even the Chief of CONTROL traveling on the plane. Behind a serving area, with the curtain drawn, we see Team Smart getting a deserved lecture from 99.
99: Max, I can’t believe you would actually call just about everybody at CONTROL to baby-sit me.
Max: Baby-sit you? 99, really. I think you’re a big enough girl to take care of your-self.
99: (annoyed) Oh really? Well then explain to me why you have four agents and your- self on my plane!
Max: You don’t have to yell, 99. I was simply doing you a favor….
99: (sarcastically) How, Max? By virtually putting me in harm’s way? Now there’s a tactic.
Max: Now, wait a minute, 99….
An argument ensues between 99 and Max, which starts to get louder. Some of the passengers up front start to wonder what the yelling is all about.
Zach: (yelling himself) Hey! As Captain of this plane, I demand you stop yelling. (99 and Max look at him.) (clearing his throat a little) Please. (to 99) Look, Mom, we’re only doing this to ensure that nothing happens to you. Think of it as a little added protection. Look, I’m on this case. If ANYTHING comes up in the way of evidence or anything, you’re all to tell me first. That includes you too, Dad.
A partial agreement had been made and no one was to bother 99 was she was on the plane. If anything
suspicious were to happen it would reported to Zach first. As the team left the server area, with 99 speaking to everyone but Max, the KAOS agent snuck into the server area to report.
KAOS: What have you found out, Agent Steigler?
Steigler: There seems to be a problem emerging in the team sent to protect Mrs. Smart.
KAOS: What kind of problem?
Steigler: It seems as though the whole bunch has invaded her comfort zone, so to speak. They are all a bit edgy, especially the Smarts.
KAOS: Good. Make sure it stays that way. With any luck, these stupid CONTROL agents might just hand over the plans to KAOS. Have you had contact with the other agent on board?
Steigler: Not yet, but we will be meeting soon. Quick, I’ve got to go. I’ll contact KAOS with any other
news I find.
Agent Steigler is about to walk out when he bumps into 66.
Steigler: Ah, excuse me, Miss Tracie. I was wondering if you could show me to the little boys’ room.
66: Of course. Follow me, sir.
Unaware of anything going on in the plane, Zach sits in the cockpit, flying on autopilot. 66 walks in.
66: Excuse me, Captain, but I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment?
Zach: Only if you keep calling me Captain.
66: (laughs, then gets serious) That’s enough of that.
Zach: Sorry. (the two leave)
66: Zach, I haven’t really seen anything suspicious on this flight. I’m thinking KAOS just wimped out and decided not to follow.
Zach: First of all, 66, don’t ever assume that KAOS will stop causing mayhem and basically…..chaos. Just because nothing seems to be happening, doesn’t mean that there isn’t some sort of diabolical plan in the making.
Just as Zach predicted, KAOS Agent Seigler is talking to his contact now.
Seigler: How do I find out if Mrs. Smart is really carrying the TS-88?
Contact: Leave it to me. I’ll find a way to distract her.
Meanwhile, after 66 had talked to Zach, she was back on rounds when Max handed her a piece of paper to give to 99. Along the way, 66 also got a microphone from Maxine to communicate
with 99.
66 dropped off the note and mic and explained what they were. After 99 wrote back to Max, she had 66 deliver it back to him. Max had written a simple apology to 99 and both he and 66 were curious as to what she wrote.
Max: (to 66) 99 can’t stay mad at me for very long. (reads letter back to 66) See, I wrote, “Dear 99, don’t be mad at me, please. I’m sorry.” And then she wrote, ” Stop writing me letters” (looks towards camera)
99 had gone back to the server area to see if Maxine’s mic worked.
99: (in mic) This is 99 calling 24. Come in 24.
Maxine: (whispering) 24 here. Hi, Mom.
99: Can you hear me okay?
Maxine: Just fine. I have the volume up a little so I can hear you better.
99: Oh, well, good. Because there’s something I wanted to tell you.
Maxine: Oh, yeah? What?
99: (loudly) STOP BOTHERING ME, YOU’RE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!
As 99 walked past Maxine and sat down, she could see Max holding her ears in pain.
99: (sweetly) Do those earphones work a lot better now?
For the next hour, the flight seemed to be going smoothly, with no kind of apparent trouble. 99 sat in her seat, doing a crossword puzzle, when Zach walked over to her.
Zach: Anything interesting happening?
99: Not really. It’s a shame that you and 66 are on this case for nothing.
Zach: Well, think of it this way. It’s a nice vacation. Besides, don’t count out KAOS. They might still have something planned. To tell you the truth, Mom, I’m kind of uneasy, myself.
99: I’m getting that same feeling. It’s like this trip is going TOO smoothly. You better talk to everyone else and see if they have the same suspicions.
Zach gets up and heads to the back where his father is.
Zach: Dad, do you have the sense that this flight feels weird?
Max: What do you mean?
Zach: Well, it’s over an hour and nothing has happened.
Max: Wasn’t that the point of coming? To make sure nothing would happen?
Zach: Yeah, but it’s making me nervous.
Max: Well, son, it’s really up to you. This is your case.
Just then 66 comes by and talks to Max and Zach.
66: Chief, see the man in the fifth aisle back? Sitting behind Mrs. Smart on the left?
Max: (looking) The one with the trench coat?
66: Yes.
Zach: What about him?
66: Well, I just caught him in the server area.
Zach: So?
Max: He was probably getting some more peanuts. You know how people love airplane peanuts. It’s the only food you CAN eat on a plane.
66: Yeah, but this was the second time. No one can get so lost in a place for more than once.
Zach: I wouldn’t be so sure, 66. I once knew an agent who was lost in the White House for three days.
66: Three days? Come on, Zach, really. Three days?
Zach: Well, I think it was three days. Let’s see, I went in on a Tuesday…..
66: Well, I just think this guy is a little suspicious.
Max: Okay, maybe we can search through his things. You guys take him somewhere and I’ll search his bag.
Zach: Where’re we taking him?
Max: I don’t care, Zach! Take him to see First Class or something! Just keep him away from his seat for a couple of minutes while I search his stuff.
Zach and 66 go over to where KAOS Agent Seigler is seated and ask him if he would like to see the
cockpit. Seigler agrees and the three leave toward the cockpit area, through first class. Max then gets up and takes Seigler’s seat and starts to look through his briefcase.
99, seeing Zach and 66 take Seigler towards cockpit, turns around to see Max sitting in Seigler’s seat. She then mouths to him, “What are you doing?” Max calls her over and 99 gets up from her seat and walks over.
99: What’re you doing?
Max: 66 didn’t feel right about this guy, so I’m checking his stuff.
99: What are you checking for?
Max: If I knew that, 99, I wouldn’t be looking for it.
99: Well, you don’t have to be insulting….
Max: Shhhh! I’m just checking to see if this guy….
Max stops when his hand runs across a revolver in Seigler’s briefcase.
Max: What kind of guy brings along a .32 with him?
99: A very protective businessman? (Max shakes his head no) A very distrusting salesman?
Max: (still looking through the briefcase) I don’t think so, 99.
Max pulls out a manila folder and starts to leaf through it. His eyes then grew wider in surprise.
Max: Some businessman. Take a look at this.
Max passes the folder to 99. In it, is a detailed description of the TS-88 and the carrier who would be carrying it. The papers went on to also went on to reveal the identity of Seigler.
99: Well, now that we know who Mr. Seigler is, how do we stop him?
Max: You mean how do I stop him.
99: Max, no! I won’t let you put yourself in danger like that!
Max: I have to, 99. Besides, I think I might have a plan to stop Seigler, get the plans to LA, and still keep you out of danger.
99: What’s your plan?
Max: See the emergency door? (points to the side hatch) All I have to do is get Seigler over to that door, open it, and push him out.
99: But then the wind might suck out the rest of the passengers and the plane might crash, killing us all.
Max: (pauses) I have an alternate plan.
Just then 99 heard the voices of 66 and Zach.
99: Max, I hear 66 and Zach coming back with Seigler.
Max: Quick, 99. Get back to your seat.
As 99 goes to her seat, Max is putting the papers back in Seigler’s briefcase. As he starts to get up, he falls back down in his seat. Stunned for a moment, Max looks down and sees that the corner of his jacket is caught in the side arm.
99 can see Zach, 66, and Seigler through the curtain and looks behind her to see if Max is at his seat. Instead, she is shocked to find that he is struggling to get out of the seat.
99: (getting up and rushing over to Max) What’s wrong?
Max: My jacket’s caught in the arm.
As Max and 99 keep struggling to untangle Max’s jacket, Zach and 66 are having problems trying to convince Seigler to stay up front.
66: But Mr. Seigler, you much better suited to First Class. You have all the charisma and intelligence to sit up here. Why don’t you let me move your stuff for you?
Zach turns around to look through the curtain and sees his parents having a problem with Max’s jacket and the seat. Thinking fast, Zach grabs a pair of scissors from the top stationary.
Zach: Will you excuse me for a moment? A passenger needs me. (whispers to 66 in her ear) Keep him busy as long as you can.
Zach comes out and goes over to where his parents are.
Zach: What happened? (taking out scissors)
99: Your father’s jacket is stuck between the cushion and the arm.
Zach: Take your jacket off, Pop, quick! I don’t know how long 66 can keep that guy busy.
Max takes his jacket off and both he and 99 hurry back to their seats. Zach starts to cut the corner off the jacket and barely manages to release the jacket and toss it back to Max before Seigler and 66 come walking through the curtain. Seigler, curious as to why Zach is standing there at his seat, looks around at the passengers.
Seigler: What has happened here?
Zach: Sorry about that, Mr. Seigler. One of the children on board was playing by your seat and got his little toy stuck. I got it out though.
Seigler: Danka, Heir Maxwell. I’m glad you’re piloting this aircraft. With you on board, things will get done a lot faster.
Zach and 66 excuse themselves from Seigler and head back to the server area.
Zach: I didn’t like the way he said that last sentence, Trace.
66: Either did I. Maybe you should call the Chief back here.
Zach peeked through the curtains and called to his father. Max turned to see who was calling him and immediately got up when he saw Zach.
Max: What’s wrong?
Zach: I think there’s something funny with that guy Seigler.
Max: Well you’d be right. 99 and I found out that Seigler’s the KAOS spy who was sent to board this plane after your mother.
Zach: Now I’m sure.
66: Sure about what?
Zach: Now I’m positive there’s something funny about Seigler.
Just then, Maxine and Austin rush in.
Maxine: You won’t believe what Austin and I saw.
Zach: You’d be surprised.
Parker: We know who the KAOS agent is.
66: It’s that guy Seigler.
Maxine: Who?
Zach: Seigler. The guy sitting behind you.
Maxine and Parker: HE’S the KAOS agent?
66: Yeah. Who’d you guys think it was?
Maxine: The Captain!
Zach: I didn’t do it! I’m on the good guys team, remember? Go team!
Parker: Not you. The other guy. Captain James.
Zach: Besides, I love Mom. Why would…did you say Capt. James is the KAOS agent?
Max: What makes you think Captain James is the KAOS agent?
Maxine: First of all, all his time away from the cockpit has been with Seigler. Second, he’s never around when you need him.
Parker: And third, he has a KAOS emblem tattooed to his arm.
Zach: Well that means there’s two KAOS agents aboard.
Max: Zach, get your mother back here where it’s safe while we think of a plan.
Zach: Right, Pop.
Seigler: Hold it, Smart!
Seigler is blocking the way out through the curtain and is pointing the .32 at the team.
Seigler: So, you figured out our plan did you?
Zach: Kind of. KAOS couldn’t afford just having one agent on board, so they hired two to make sure the job would be done.
Seigler: Actually, Smart, KAOS hired James and I to not only get the plans for the TS-88, but to kill you and Mrs. Smart. (to Max) Your arrival on the plane was a surprise to us, Heir Smart. We only thought we’d be handling your wife and son.
Max: Well that just goes to show you Seigler, that CONTROL is always prepared!
Seigler: Well, Heir Smart, prepare to die.
Seigler raises the gun to shoot, when Zach knocks the gun out of his hand. Seigler punches him and Zach goes flying to the floor. Max hits Seigler and he hits the wall near the curtain. His head hits the wall and knocks him out.
Max: Parker, tie Seigler up and then call CONTROL. Zach, you go up front and get James. I’ll see if your mother’s all right.
The foursome go out through the curtain and notice that 99 isn’t in her seat.
Zach: Dad, she’s gone!
Max rushes to the cockpit, with Zach, Maxine, and 66 behind him. They burst through the curtains only to be stopped by James, who has 99 in a headlock and is pointing a gun at her head.
James: Don’t move, Schmart! (the four stop in their tracks) I see you found out about my little secret, Schmart.
Max: I’m very good at finding out secrets. That’s why I’m a spy.
Zach: (puzzled) Wait a minute, James. You’re talking with an accent.
James: Before I was talking with an accent. Now I’m talking right.
Zach: Well, James. I hope you know what this means. I’m going to get on the radio, report you, and have your license removed!
Max: Let her go, James.
James: Not ‘til she tells me where the plans for the TS-88 are!
99: Probably in LA by now.
Everyone: What?
James: What’re you talking about?
99: The plans are probably in LA right now, if not earlier this evening.
James: A decoy!
99: (nervous laughter) Yep. Sorry.
Everyone in the cockpit is stunned by 99’s announcement that she is in reality the decoy for the real agent who delivered the plans to LA.
James: No biggie, as you Americans say. I still have you all at my mercy.
Max: Don’t be so confident, James. I only have one question before I rescue my wife and arrest you.
James: How are you going to rescue your wife and arrest me if I’m holding the gun?
Max: Well, that was my question. It was really a group question actually. We could discuss it if you’d like us to.
James: No.
Zach: It’ll only take us a minute.
James: Shut up, Schmart!
Zach: You don’t have to yell.
Maxine: I’ve just realized something.
James: (smiling) That I’m going to kill you?
Maxine: (laughs a little) No, I realized that a while ago. I just realized that with you holding us hostage and Zach being one of the hostages, who’s flying the plane?
James turns slightly to look at the instruments. Taking a very risky move, 99 knocks the gun out
of James’ hand, giving Max the chance to hit him. James pushes 99 aside, where she hits the wall with her shoulder.
James takes a swing at Max, misses his head, but backhands him as he comes to swing. Zach uses a side- swipe to try and knock James down, only to have James block the kick with an elbow in Zach’s thigh.
The girls are about to hit James, when Parker rushes in with a gun in his hand. He aims and shoots and James falls to the floor.
66: Good shot, Parker!
Parker: I radioed CONTROL and agents are standing by at the local airport right below us.
Maxine: Well if Zach thinks he can land this plane…
Zach: Of course! C’mon! This is me you’re talking about.
Everyone looks at Zach and sighs.
Everyone: We know.
******COMMERCIAL BREAK******
SETTING: Back in the Chief’s office early the next morning. Max and 99 are talking about the whole TS-88 decoy plan.
Max: So, another agent went to LA and delivered the plans?
99: Yes. You see, I was just the decoy for KAOS to follow.
Max: So, why hire CONTROL to protect you?
99: The way we had planned it was that the other agent would go on the earlier flight and I would take the 305. KAOS would be thinking that I had the plans and Zach was there to protect me, but they would never get the plans because I never had them in the first place.
Max: Well, that was a really risky move on your part, 99. I mean, what would have happened if they discovered before hand that you didn’t have the plans?
99: (putting her arms around Max) Well, lucky for me, I have a very caring husband who went through the trouble of hiring all his best agents and even putting himself in danger, just to protect me.
Max: And I’d do it again. (kisses her)
Zach, Maxine, and 66 walk in to see the Smarts kissing.
Zach: A-hem. (Max and 99 break apart) A little update for you from the lab.
66: The TS-88 arrived safely in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon and we still have our team in one piece.
99: Well, with that said and done, I’m going to my office. (starts to leave)
Max: Hold up, 99, I’ll walk you to the car.
They walk to the elevator. Inside the office…
Zach: Well, what are we standing around for? We’ve got Chiefly things to do.
66: What do you mean?
Maxine: Knowing Mom and Dad, he won’t be back here for awhile.
The Smarts stand in the elevator and as the doors close, they kiss.
THE ENDING CREDITS OF GET SMART!