The Dream Machine
Setting: The deepest part of Haiti. In a remote jungle, a CONTROL agent is sitting quietly in his tent, reading a book. The book is about voodoo curses and potions and how to perhaps treat them.
The agent looks at his watch, closes the book, and places it on the nightstand. He then picks up another book and opens it. Inside, is a telephone, which the agent picks up. He starts to dial. Scene switches to a dark room, where in the background, the phone is ringing.
We hear a slight commotion as someone is getting up. The light flicks on and we see Zachary Smart, Agent 78 sitting up in bed and very sleepy. He blinks his eyes a couple of times, then realizes it’s his phone that’s going off.
Zach: [tired] Alright, alright! I’m coming.
Zach gets out of bed and looks around for his shoe phone. Finding it, he opens the secret compartment, sits down on the edge of the bed, and answers.
The phone is still ringing and Zach realizes it’s not his shoe phone that’s ringing. Tossing it against the wall, Zach gets up and checks his dire emergency phone, which is hidden behind a picture on the wall. He picks up the phone and answers.
Once again, the ringing of the phone is heard. Zach is getting just a tad bit annoyed and drops the phone from his hand. He goes over to a nearby plant by the door. He reaches in to the pot and pulls out another phone.
Again, there’s no answer on the other end and Zach drops the phone. Zach, thinking he’s totally lost his mind and is hearing phones ring in his head, looks over at the phone sitting on his nightstand and realizes that’s the phone that’s ringing. Tired and not caring, Zach walks over, falls on the bed, and answers the phone.
The scene comes back to the agent’s tent in Haiti. The scenes switch back and forth.
Agent: Agent 78? It’s me, Agent 67.
Zach: And? [yawning]
67: I’m sorry, 78. Did I wake you?
Zach: [sarcastically] No, I’m always up at [looks at clock] 2:47 in the morning.
67: Listen, 78, I’m sorry, but I have important news to tell you. I didn’t want to wake the Chief, so I called you.
Zach: [sarcastically] How considerate of you.
67: Well, I try. Anyway, I just thought I’d pass this on to you. I’ve been following the trail of a KAOS scientist in Haiti and I think I know what KAOS is up to.
Zach: [sleepy] That’s really great, 67.
67: Smart, you don’t understand! Twenty Haitian government officials have been murdered here and some say it’s due to voodoo.
Zach: 67, as a grown man, you don’t actually believe in this existence of voodoo, do you?
As 67 talks, a shadow is seen on the tent behind him.
67: Smart, I’m just saying I have reason to believe this KAOS scientist is dealing with some bad stuff here and he’s planning on taking it back to Washington.
The figure behind 67 soon disappears, but the sound of rustling leaves causes 67 to jump a little.
Zach: Well, when you get more info, 67, try calling me at an appropriate hour, okay? Is that it?
67: [listening] Yeah, that’s it. I’ll report in tomorrow. Bye.
Zach: Good night. [hangs up]
67 withdraws his gun and stands up cautiously. As he turns towards the front of his tent, he sees something so horrible, so frightening; he becomes white with fear.
67 drops his gun and it falls to the floor. After a minute, all is quiet again. The gun is lying on the floor and the shadow is once again seen on the tent.
THE NEW OPENING CREDITS TO GET SMART!!
Setting: The CONTROL delicatessen. In a booth, sit Zach, Agent 66, Maxine Smart, and the Chief of CONTROL, Maxwell Smart. The four were listening to Zach tell about the call he received from Agent 67.
Zach: Then he said this KAOS scientist might be coming here to the states with some voodoo stuff.
Maxine: Did 67 say who the KAOS scientist was?
Zach: No. And even if he did, I was too tired to even hear it.
66: What did 67 mean this KAOS scientist was bringing something dealing with voodoo?
Zach: I don’t know! He didn’t go into it. He just said he would report in today.
66: [to Max] Chief, what do you make of this?
Max: Well, I can tell you that Agent 67 was found today.
Maxine: What do you mean he was “found”?
Max: He was found in his tent. I have pictures in my office of the body. Terrible. Awful. In fact, girls, I don’t think you should see them. Zach can see them and tell you about them.
Zach: Why does Zach have to see them? What if Zach doesn’t want to see them?
Maxine: Dad, are they really that bad?
Max: Well, you remember how Agent 67 looked before he went on this case? You know, when he had hair and teeth…[pause] and eyes.
Zach drops his spoon into his cereal out of shock and slight disgustment.
66: He has no eyes? What happened to his eyes?
Max: Well, I don’t know. That’s what the coroners are doing, finding that out. He was definitely murdered. Probably some time after getting off the phone with Zach.
Maxine: But what caused it? Was he beaten?
Max: I don’t know, Maxine! I plan to go down there today. After breakfast of course. And well before lunch. Do you wanna come?
Zach: [eating] Right now?
Max: [annoyed] Didn’t I say after breakfast?
Zach: I have a strong stomach! I can take it.
Max: Fine. Girls, do you want to come?
66: Sure. I’ve never been in a morgue before. [smiling] This is gonna be an exciting day.
Zach: [looks at 66] You have some weird hobbies.
Well after breakfast, the four went down to the city morgue to go over the body of Agent 67. The camera does a floor pan so we see the quartet, as well as the mortician, but not the body.
Mortician: As you know, Mr. Smart, this man was sent to us from Haiti. He’s already been checked by the coroner and the report should be in your office when you return.
Max: Yes, thank you.
Mortician: [unzipping bag] But I must warn you, [looks at girls] It is very gruesome.
Maxine: Just open the bag.
We hear the body bag being opened and then we see Max cringe at the sight.
66: Oh, man, that’s really gross.
Maxine: Totally. Look how they just yanked those eyes out.
Max: [disgusted] Girls, please!
Maxine: No, really, Dad, look. They left a nerve right there. [pointing]
Max turns away as Zach passes out and falls to the floor. The girls look at Zach, who’s lying on the floor.
66: [to Maxine] I don’t think he got enough to eat today.
After checking the body, the four go into the lobby of the mortuary.
66: Isn’t that incredible? That someone or something could do that to a person.
Zach: [slightly sick] [sarcastically] Yes. Very incredible.
Maxine: I wish there was more we could learn about this. There seems to be more questions then answers.
Max: It seems to me, that we should check out this whole KAOS scientist routine. If KAOS is getting involved with voodoo or black magic, we could be in a lot of trouble.
Zach: Dad, you don’t really believe in all that stuff, do you? Black magic and witch doctors.
Max: When you’re dealing with KAOS, Zachary, you have to believe anything is possible.
Just then, one of the morticians goes over to Max with a phone.
Mortician: Phone call for you, Mr. Smart. [hands Max the phone]
Max: [taking phone] Thanks. [on phone] Hello?
Trudi: Mr. Smart, I just got word we’re having some trouble.
Max: Some trouble where?
Trudi: You know, in the country.
Max: [annoyed] Make sense, Trudi.
Trudi: I can’t. You haven’t given me any money.
Max: Not change! Sens…Trudi, why did you call?
Trudi: Well, your wife called to say there was a murder last night, but it’s under unusual circumstances.
Max: [thinking] Hmmm…listen Trudi, get my wife on the phone and tell her I’ll meet her at the office. I’ll send Zach and 66 to the scene of the crime. What’s the address? [pause] okay. They’ll
be right over. [hangs up]
66: What’s up, Chief?
Max: Seems there was a murder last night. I want you and Zach to go to 534 E Marple Dr and check it out. Call me on my shoe phone if you find anything. And be careful. We still don’t know what
KAOS is up to.
Zach: Right, Pop. Come on, Trace.
The two leave and soon reach the address Max had given them. There were police already there and the duo had to show their government ID’s in order to enter the house. The house was lovely, inside and out and it was hard to believe a murder had taken place there. The two were led upstairs to where the body and it was a gruesome sight. Senator Dalton Turner looked like he had been strangled, but there was no rope or wire to be found.
Coroner: As you can see, Mr. Smart, Turner’s neck is broken from the strangulation. Whoever killed him had a very bad grudge against him.
Zach: So, there’s a murderer lose?
Coroner: You tell me, Mr. Government Agent. Why are you guys here, anyway? I would think this would be out of your league.
Zach: Nothing is ever out of our league. I mean, doesn’t this look strange to you? A man is strangled in his bed, to the point where he’s nearly decapitated, but yet, there’s no murder weapon.
Coroner: I do find it strange. Very strange.
Zach: As do I. Well, thank you for your time.
Coroner: I’ll be seeing you.
Zach leaves, with 66 behind him and they soon reach his black firebird and get in.
66: Zach, this case gets weirder and weirder by the moment.
Zach: Absolutely. Let’s cruise over to the Congress building real quick.
They sped off and headed towards the building. Meanwhile, 99 is talking to Max about all the strange things going on.
99: I don’t like it, Max. KAOS is getting meaner and worse every year. I mean, what are they up to this time?
Max: I don’t know, 99. All I know is, Agent 67 is dead and he’s the only person that had a solid link to what KAOS is working on. But what good does that do me if he’s dead?
Zach: [walking in] Not only that, but Dalton Turner is now deceased as well.
Max: How’d he die?
66: Strangled. With an imaginary object.
99: An imaginary object? 66, could you give a little insight to that?
Zach: Sure. There’s no murder weapon.
Max: Great. Two murders in one day. KAOS has got a real jump on us. What now?
Zach: I say we go home.
99: [sarcastically] Well, that is being productive, isn’t it?
Zach: What’re we going do here? Or at CONTROL? At least if we go home, for lunch, we can eat, take a little nap or something, and come back to this all fresh and new.
Max: Zach, you had breakfast not more than an hour ago.
Zach: Yeah, but I didn’t really eat.
66: Three bowls of cereal isn’t really eating?
Zach: I’m a growing boy. I need substance. Besides, I had to see agent 67 today. That made me lose half my breakfast right there.
Max: Look, Zach, if you’re really that starved, YOU go home. We’ll stay here and get some work done.
Zach: Alright, alright. I can forgo my brunch, but one o’clock comes and I’m leaving.
Max: It’s nice that you have priorities, son.
The scene switches to KAOS headquarters, where a man sits at a desk. In front of him is another man, dressed as a scientist with a small machine next to him.
Man #1: How can we help you, Mr….?
Man #2: Doctor. Dr. Heinric Doulph and I’m here to help you, gentlemen. Allow me to present you with the dream machine.
Man #1: The dream machine?
Doulph: Yes. I’m sure you heard of Senator Turner’s death.
Man #1: THAT machine caused Turner’s death?
Doulph: The dream machine works on brain waves. All I have to do is have a conversation with the person. [look of confusion from man #1] You see, inside of my coat, I have a miniature wave recorder. When I talk to someone and turn it on, the recorder records our conversation, but analyzes their brain waves. So when I come back to my lab and insert the tape, the machine picks up the brain waves and can trace the person anywhere.
Man#1: That’s amazing!
Doulph: But it’s not quite perfected yet. I had some problems with Turner that I need to correct, but I dare not use it on anyone of importance anymore. At least until everything is perfected.
What I need from you is someone who is willing to die while I experiment with the machine.
Man#1: [harshly] I’m sorry, Dr. Doulph, but the men of KAOS will not be subjected to this kind of torture. They’ll inflict it, but won’t go through it. [pause] Tell me, what exactly does that machine do with the brain waves?
Doulph: It induces nightmares, some mild, some deadly, all by my direction of course.
Man#1: You say the machine can pick up whoever and where they are?
Doulph: As long as I come in personal contact with them.
Man#1: I do believe I have some…volunteers for your experiment. KAOS has had this problem with a couple of CONTROL agents in the past…
Doulph: My men have taken care of one agent already.
Man#1: Yes, but these agents are a great menace to Commander Siegfried, as well as myself. Do you think you can take care of them?
Doulph: Of course. Who are they?
The scene changes again to 99’s office. The four worked until about two o’clock, trying to find what KAOS was up to and the connection between the deaths of Agent 67 and Senator Turner. The four were exhausted and still weren’t any closer to an answer.
Zach: I’m hungry.
Max: [sarcastically] Yes, thank you for telling us that.
Zach: Can I go home?
99: Ah Max, let him go home.
66: Let’s not argue. Chief, I’m hungry too.
Max: Fine. This is obviously not going anywhere. Let’s get something to eat and we’ll think of something there.
Everyone starts to get up and plans start being made on where to go.
66: Where should we go?
Max: Depends on what we want. Any suggestions?
Zach: Pizza Palace! [everyone groans] What? Pizza palace is totally inexpensive and located in a wonderful place…
66: It also has the loudest music…
Max: The noisiest kids…
99: …and the greasiest pizzas.
Zach: [pause] And?
Zach opens the door and outside it was a little man in a white coat. He had on a pair of thick black glasses and had a balding buzz cut.
Zach: [to the man] Listen, if you wanted pizza, for an inexpensive price, wouldn’t you go to Pizza Palace?
Man: I’m sorry, but I don’t eat all that greasy food.
Max: [to Zach] See? Even HE wouldn’t eat at Pizza Palace.
66: [to the man] You’ll have to excuse them. We were just going out.
99: [also to the man] Can I help you?
Man: Yes, you can. You see, I’m doing a study and I was wondering if you could help me for a few minutes.
66: Of course. [looking at Max and Zach argue] I don’t know about them though.
Zach: Dad, listen. You’re hungry. You want great pizza, that’s good, but yet low in cost. So you go…
Max: Somewhere else.
Zach: You just don’t understand supply and demand, do you?
Max: What’s this have to do with supply and demand? Look, you go into Pizza Palace, right?
99: [to man] You’ll have to forgive them.
Man: No. It’s perfectly alright. In fact, would it be alright if I came back at another time?
66: Well, if you’re sure you can hold off on that survey.
Man: I’m sure I can. I’ll come back tomorrow. [leaves]
99: Well, that was weird.
66: Totally. [looks at boys fight] Are you two finished?
Zach: Dad, I tell you Pizza Palace…
99: Enough! Look, let’s just have Chinese, alright?
Zach: I’ll go for that.
Max: Yeah. No problem. [pauses] As long as it’s not Pizza Palace.
Zach: And I tell you…
The four leave to go to lunch. The mysterious man stood, watching them leave. He removed a small tape recorder from his coat and started to play it back.
Zach[TR]: Dad, you must be crazy. Pizza Palace…
MTR: And I tell you, Zach, that place has to be the worst…
99TR: What’s your survey about, sir?
Man[TR]: It’s just on government agencies. I work for the government as well.
66TR: [to guys] Will you two stop?!
The man stopped the tape and smiled. He then peels off his disguise and we see that it’s Heinric Doulph. He calmly walked out of the building and out to his car.
The scene moves to Zachary Smart’s apartment. Upstairs in his room, Zach was fast asleep and dreaming. He was having another one of his fantasies involving Agent 66.
In Zach’s dream:
Zach wakes up and sees 66 at the foot of his bed.
Zach: [reaches for her] Darling.
She runs to him and they kiss, passionately.
Zach: Only in my dreams are you mine. Mine forever.
66: Oh, Zachary. My love, my one true love. Words can not express my deep and undying love for you.
Zach: I know. I’m just irresistible.
66: Very. [kisses him] Just lay back, my darling. [pushes him down] You’re in for quite a night.
Zach: [looks at ceiling] Thank you.
Just then, Zach heard the sound of a shotgun being loaded. 66 turned around with a double barrel shotgun in her hand and aimed at Zach’s head.
Zach: [sitting straight up] Whoa! What is that?!
66: Call it an early birthday present.
Zach: This has never happened before. I’m sure I’d remember it.
66: It’s a new twist on an old and obnoxious habit. Ta-ta, Smart.
66 aimed and pulled the trigger. The last thing Zach saw before he woke up was the flash of the bullet. Zach sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. He looked at his clock and found it was 2:15 in the morning. Zach finally started to calm down, but realized that this was the weirdest dream he’s ever had!
Setting: The office of Chief Maxwell Smart. Max was asleep at his desk, while Zach and Maxine were asleep in the chairs in front of him. Dr. Austin Parker was asleep on the couch, while 66 was asleep at the computer desk. 99 walked in, very tired. She was a bit surprised to see everyone asleep, especially
when it was one o’clock in the afternoon.
99: Max. [walks to desk] Max. [shakes him] Max!
Max woke up quickly and ready to attack. He looked and saw 99 standing next to him and put his head back on the desk.
Max: 99, please don’t do that.
99: Max, wake up. It’s one in the afternoon. Why are you asleep?
Max: Because 99, I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in two weeks.
99: I know that, Max, but still. KAOS is at it again. They’ve just stolen a ship from a naval base.
Max: I wish there was something I could do, 99, but this is the only time I can get any sleep.
99: Max, I just got up about ten minutes ago. I am so tired, but you have to do something about this.
Max, still slightly asleep, open his desk drawer and pulled out a small bullhorn. He put one finger in his ear and pushed the tab on the horn. The horn went off loudly, causing Zach to fall out of his chair, startled, and landing on the floor.
Maxine: [yawning] You rang?
Max: Who wants to check out this navy ship thing? [no one answers] Good show, Zachary. Thank you for volunteering.
Zach: [face down on floor] No problem.
99: You guys have to wake up.
Parker: Mrs. Smart, I haven’t been to sleep in two and half weeks.
99: I know, but while we’re sleeping, KAOS is getting away with murder!
66: Well, they certainly picked a perfect time. There’s no way we’re going to sleep at night, so we have to sleep in the day.
Max: Which falls nicely into KAOS’ s plans.
Maxine: If we could just find out what’s keeping us up at!
Parker: Nightmares, of course.
Max: Max, when did yours start?
Maxine: [yawning] Last week.
Parker: Last week.
Max: 99, when did yours start?
99: Same day as yours, Max. Last Thursday.
66: Mine started last Thursday, too.
Max: Zach, when did yours start? [no answer] Zach? [leans over desk] Zachary!
Max: Get off the floor.
Zach: Why? It’s so comfy.
Maxine: Zach, when did your nightmares start?
99: Isn’t that weird? Both Max and Parker’s dreams started last week, while ours started on Thursday. What’s so special about Thursday?
66: That was the same day Senator Turner died.
Zach: [climbing into chair] It was the day we were arguing about Pizza Palace.
Max: That was the day that little guy showed up.
Parker: What little guy?
99: This little guy taking a survey.
Parker: Was he short, a little graying of the hair, glasses, and in a white lab coat?
66: Yeah. That’s him.
Maxine: He came over to Austin’s apartment and wanted us to take a survey. About governmental agencies or something.
Max: That’s the same thing he wanted to know from us, too.
99: Who is this guy?
66: [at computer] I’m on it.
Max: [standing] Zach…Zachary! [Zach wakes up] Go check out that navy ship.
Zach: [sleepily] Right now? [Max sounds bullhorn] Right away, sir.
Max: Take your sister with you. [the two sleepy siblings slowly leave] Parker, do you have that brain wave equipment set up downstairs?
Parker: [asleep] Not really. It would take a while to set up and I’m really tired…
Max: [annoyed] Parker, [holding up bull horn] I’d really hate to toot my own horn.
Parker: [awake] [getting off of couch] I’ll set it up in a minute.
66: Chief! I got it!
Max: What’s up?
66: The description is that of Heinric Doulph, a known KAOS scientist and…get this. He’s been studying in Haiti for a couple of years.
Max: Has he. Has he really.
99: So, all we have to do is find Heinric Doulph and we’ll be able to have a restful night for a change.
66: Maybe, maybe not. Don’t forget, if Doulph is our man, he has an incredible leg up on us. It’s hard to combat someone when you’re dead tired.
99: Oh Max, she’s right. What do we do?
Max: I have a plan, girls, I have a plan. Follow me downstairs.
The scene switches to the Washington Naval Base. A tired Zach and Maxine sat in the office of Maj. Henry Daniels, who paced up and down the office, telling the twins how upset he was with the theft.
Daniels: You people are supposed to be fighting and keeping us safe from the likes of KAOS and where were you? Huh? Asleep on the job! Why weren’t their people looking after that boat?
Maxine: [tired] Why didn’t you have your OWN men watch the boat, Major?
Daniels: My men aren’t CONTROL agents, Ms. Smart. That’s your job! And I’ll tell you another thing, I want that boat found!
Zach: [standing] Don’t worry, Maj. Daniels. You’ll get your ship back. Don’t call us, we’ll call you. Eventually.
The twins leave the office and head out to the car. Before they even got in, they were hit over the head and taken away into a green sports car!
Setting: The CONTROL lab. Max, 99, and 66 sat and watched Parker pace up and down by the phone.
99: Austin, calm down. Exactly what did he say?
Parker: He said he had something that belonged to us and if we wanted it back, show up with $10 million dollars tonight at the given address. It’s got to be Max and Zach. They should’ve come back hours ago.
66: More like less than an hour ago. It could as easily be the missing naval ship.
Parker: Well, Chief? What do we do?
Max: Simple. We show up at that address and find out what’s going on.
99: No money?
Max: Nope. Just ourselves.
Parker: Isn’t that a tad bit risky?
Max: Absolutely, but I’m way ahead of you. Let’s put plan Omega Six into action.
Parker: Good plan, sir. I’ll have every available agent at this address before we get there.
A short time later, the quartet were at the given address, looking for the twins.
Max: Parker, are you sure this is where they said to meet them?
Parker: Absolutely, sir. See? [holds up paper] I wrote it down.
99: Doesn’t look like anyone’s here.
66: Maybe we’re on a wild goose chase.
Just then, the four were hit from behind and knocked out. The scene spins to all six members of TS, tied to large tables. On their heads, were electronic helmets of some sort. The team was revived by the voice of a familiar person.
Doulph: Welcome, Heir Smart and family, to my underground laboratory. I hope you’re all comfortable.
Max: I hope I’m not of line, but just what do you think you’re doing?
Doulph: Well, Mr. Smart, you’re about to die.
Zach: Ha! You can’t kill us! The only way for us to die is over our dead bodies!
Doulph: On the contrary, Mr. Smart, I’m not going to kill you. [TS looks at him]
66: You seem to be diverting from the script here. See, you put us in an inescapable predicament, then leave the room in hopes that your evil plan will work, when in reality, we find an extraordinary means of escaping and thus find you and have you arrested. That’s how it works. There’s no gray area there.
Doulph: But I’m not going to kill you.
Zach: [to family] I don’t think he got the picture.
Doulph: You see, you yourselves will kill each other and there will be no way of tracing it back to KAOS.
99: What do you mean by that?
Doulph: Simple, Mrs. Smart. What you have on your heads is a portion of my dream machine.
Parker: Is that the very same machine you’ve been using on us perhaps?
Doulph: Very perceptive, Mr…?
Parker: Doctor! Dr. Parker. I didn’t spend six years in medical school to be called Mister, thank you!
Doulph: Well, DR. Parker…you are correct. This machine, at my controlling, has been sending you nightmares, so frightening they keep you at night.
66: Enabling us from sleeping at night, but exhausted in the day.
Max: Giving KAOS an opportunity to strike during the day.
99: That still doesn’t answer my question.
Doulph: You’re all going to fall asleep. As soon as you are, I will use my machine to turn you against each other.
Maxine: Is that how Senator Turner died?
Zach: So you strangled him in his dream and thus why there wasn’t a murder weapon present. Well, you’re evil plan won’t work on us. None of us are sleepy. Ha ha!
Zach starts to laugh and then instantly passes out.
Doulph: One down.
Max: This isn’t going to work, Doulph. For you see, it’s nighttime and we don’t sleep at night. Isn’t that right, gang?
Max looks at everyone and sees they’re either asleep or starting to get there.
Doulph: [laughs] Goodbye, Mr. Smart.
Doulph sets his controls and leaves the room. Max tries to wake everyone up, but is getting tired himself.
Max: Look, gang, I have a plan. All we have to do is make sure one of us stays awake. That way, that person can keep the others awake.
99: [tired] That’s a great plan, Max.
Max: Thank you, 99. Now all we need is someone to volunteer to stay awake. Anyone?
Max realizes that he’s the only one who’s awake.
Max: Well, I guess it’s me. Okay, now the trick is to stay awake. No problem. I strive on being alert and attentive.
The scene changes to another room where Max is untied and standing. He looks around and sees the rest of TS there.
Max: Hey gang! It looks like my alertness paid off. No only did I get us free, I got us to another room.
99: Don’t get too excited, Max. You’re in the dream with us.
Maxine: [annoyed] You fell asleep.
Max: Oh. Well, no problem. We’ll just wake each other up. How bout that? Who’s the genius now?
99: [circling him] It’s still not you.
Max: You know, you guys are awfully hostile in here.
Max started noticing the others were circling around him and that they suddenly were being supplied with weapons.
Max: I have a strange feeling that you all aren’t happy with me.
Zach: Non sense, Dad. [reveals gun] What gives you that idea?
Max: I’m warning you all, you really don’t want to do this.
Parker: Give us one reason why not.
Max: Because we’re all in here to kill each other, right? [everyone nods] But did you stop to think that if you die in here, you obviously won’t be coming back out there? [everyone stops and thinks] You know I’m right. If we go at it, battle royale, we’ll all be dead and none of us will be coming out this.
Zach: That’s what he wants us to do. He wants us to kill each other.
99: So it’ll look like we killed each other.
Max: Right. But I made sure we’ll be seeing Heinric Doulph in here soon.
Just as Max said it, Doulph walked into their room.
Doulph: How did you escape? By what means are you not dead?
Zach: Welcome to our nightmare, Doulph.
Max: I was kind enough to tape your voice like you did ours a couple of weeks ago. You know that tape you have of us?
Doulph: No. You couldn’t have.
99: Oh, but we did. We had a feeling you were up to something.
Parker: So I kindly set up an exact replica of your machine and had your voice added.
Doulph: Well, I’m getting out of here.
Max: [withdrawing gun] Sorry. No deposit, no return.
Max was the first to wake up. He removed his headgear and quickly started work on his restraints. He was out by the time the rest of TS awoke. After be released, they quickly went to go find Doulph. They found him in a nearby office, slumped over his desk.
Parker: [checking Doulph] Definitely dead.
Zach: Well, I guess it’s…lights out…for Doulph.
Zach: That’s certainly not a way to…drop off…to sleep. [everyone nods] I guess it’s…sleepy time on the farm.
99: [annoyed] Zachary, stop being morbid.
Zach: Morbidly…funny. [look from 99] Sorry, Mom. I guess I’m just…dead tired. [laughing]
Everyone: Shut up, Zach.
THE END CREDITS TO GET SMART!!