The Return of Maxwell Smart, PI – Epilogue




99 stood over Max and tried to shake him out of it. The baseball game was on a break, while Austin, Zach, and Maxine accompanied 99 to the doctor’s office inside the dugout. Max was tossing and turning slightly on the table, saying, “No…no.”

“Max!” 99 said, trying to wake him up.

Max came to and surveyed his surroundings. There were bright lights everywhere and he was on a table of some sort. He turned to his right and saw the prettiest blue eyes he’d ever seen.

“Daddy, are you alright?” came a woman’s voice.

It was that of his daughter, Maxine. She was standing there next to her twin brother, Zach, and they were both still dressed in their baseball uniforms. To his left was Dr. Austin Parker, the short stop and team doctor.

“Chief, are you okay?” he asked.

“I…I think so.” Max said, groggily. “What happened?”

“You were clocked by a foul ball.” Zach spoke up.

“Max, are you sure you’re okay?” That came from his wife, the beautiful Agent 99, Mrs. Maxwell Smart. “You were saying, “no, no.” when you woke up.”

Max propped himself up on his elbow. “I must’ve fallen asleep.” He said, trying to remember everything that had happened. “I was dreaming. And you were in it.” He said, pointing at his wife. He then went down the line from Maxine to Zach. “And you were there and you were there.”

“And the scarecrow was there.” Zach said, sarcastically. Both he and his sister started to laugh, being stopped only by the look that their mother was giving them.

“It’s not funny.” Max said. “You tried to kill me!”

“I tried to kill you?” Maxine asked in confusion.

“You both tried to kill me!”

The twins looked at each other in confusion. “Gee, Dad, what did you do to make us so mad at you?” Zach asked, innocently.

“Nothing!” Max exclaimed. He winced in pain, as the sound of his voiced echo in his head.

“I think you might have a concussion, Chief.” Austin said, once again examining Max. “It’s not too bad though. I think you’ll be okay by tomorrow.”

“I’ll take him home, Austin.” 99 said, helping Max off the table. “I bet some sleep will do him some good.”

“Wait a minute, Mrs. Smart,” Austin said, stopping the two from leaving. “The last thing he should probably do is sleep. Just to make sure nothing happens to him. You might have to keep him awake all night.”

Max and 99 stared at Austin, both with different expressions on their faces. 99’s was more of a confused, “what?” while Max’s held that of a child thinking of how he’ll get a cookie from the cookie jar.

The two then looked at each other. Max smiled at his wife. He hoped the threat of him dying in his sleep, with only his precious, loving wife keeping him awake all night…the possibilities were endless! …that is until 99 gave him this look that told him that his endless possibilities would end right there.

Max’s smile quickly faded from his face and the two left and headed for Max’s car.


99 came downstairs to find the lights low in the living room. She came into the living room and saw Max sitting at the table she had set up earlier. He had a champagne glass in his hand and was drinking from it.

“Max,” 99 asked, in concern. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m trying to toast myself, but obviously I can’t do that.”

“You bet you can’t.” 99 said, coming over to him. “You’re too big to fit into the toaster.” Max rolled his eyes.

“That’s not what I meant.” He said.

99 picked up the half empty bottle of champagne and looked at him. “I can see you’re getting toasted …so you really don’t needthe toaster.” She said, sarcastically.

Max closed his eyes and leaned up against the chair. “Please don’t pick on me for my earlier stupidity.” Max said. He opened his eyes and looked at her. “I’m really sorry, 99. For everything that happened tonight.”

99 sighed. She had already forgiven Max when he was knocked in the head with that baseball. “It’s alright, Max.”

“No, it’s not.” He said, standing to face her. “I know I usually forget things now and then, but this was something totally important. It wasn’t like I forgot the twins’ names or where I work or even your birthday!”

99 eyed him, a little bit annoyed. “There’s a compliment in there somewhere.” She said, sarcastically.

“99, forgetting something like that…” his voice trailed off, as he realized his uncertain punishment for his earlier act. “I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised if you…if you didn’t talk to me for a year!”

“Oh, Max.” Even she thought that was a bit steep. She herself didn’t even know about the date until she had been planning this evening.

“I’m also sorry about what happened at the field tonight.” He said, lowering his head. 99 turned away from him, reliving that memory. True, she had been mad at him for forgetting this day, but what he said to her on the field had really hurt.

“I didn’t mean what I said, 99.” He took a couple of steps closer to her. “I was just angry, I guess…not at you, just at myself for having forgotten something that…great…that… special in my life. I didn’t mean what I said, 99. I really didn’t. 99…” Max took her face in his hands.

“Life would mean nothing to me if I didn’t have you in it.” She was trying to do her best not to cry. The man could push her buttons, but when he was sorry, he was sorry.

“Oh Max,” she cooed, putting her arms around his neck. “Can you forgive me for what I said?” Max smiled at her.

“Done.” He said, happily. His face then turned to a look of concern. “You’re not mad at me, are you?” he asked, innocently. She smiled seductively at him, before planting a kiss on his lips.

“What do you think?” she asked, giving him one of those looks.

“I think I don’t have to toast myself anymore.” Max said, smiling back at her.

“So, Mr. Smart, what should we do in order to keep you up all night?”

“Well,” Max said, letting her go and going over to the stereo. He turned it on and as soft music echoed through the living room, he filled two glasses with champagne and brought them over to her.

He handed her one, saying, “I can think of a few things.” He leaned over and kissed his wife, his real wife, whom he loved more than life itself.

“So, Max,” 99 cooed in his ear. “What was that dream you had?”

“Well, sweetheart,” Max said. “It was like being in one of those black and white Humphrey Bogart murder mysteries. And I was Bogey and you were Lauren Bacall.”

Max’s face then took on a look of sadness. “But I didn’t get you in the end.” He said.

“But Max,” 99 whispered, rubbing the back of his neck. “You do get me in the end. You always have.” They kissed passionately and spent a wonderful night together.

The End