SETTING: After the twins and 66 decide that they are basically useless at the Seedy Oyster, they decide
to do some detective work themselves. They went back to John Hobbs apartment, got the key from the landlady and went inside the apartment. The three weren’t satisfied with Hobbs’ death earlier that day. Zach went over by the bar and started checking some of the other glasses. Maxine went and checked out the living room area and 66 searched the bedroom. The three couldn’t find anything and decided to call the search off until tomorrow.
With speaking of the next day, the twins were brought back to the fact that their parents were going to be at CONTROL tomorrow and would now eventually find out about their occupation. The three spent most of the day and the early evening trying to come up with a clever plan to distract or postpone the encounter. Finally, 66 and Max went home, leaving Zach in his apartment. Zach felt he had to at least PREPARE his parents for the shock of their lives.
Zach: Mom! Hey, glad I caught you.
99: What is it?
Zach: well, tomorrow, when you and Dad go down to CONTROL…um….I think you should know that, you’re going to be a little shocked.
Zach: Well, I can’t really say why…now….but I think you should know whatever happens tomorrow….Max and
I are really, really, REALLY sorry.
99: Zach, is something wrong? I mean, if you want to talk….
Zach: believe me, Mom, we’ll be doing a lot of talking tomorrow.
Early the next day, Max and 99 met with the Commander in his office.
Commander: Ah, agents 86 and 99 [shaking Max’s hand] It’s good to finally meet you. You’re legends here
at CONTROL and it’ll be great to have you on this case.
99: What exactly is the case, Commander?
Commander: The evil organization KAOS has stolen the sonic aerial missile from an Air Force base. I want you to get a feel for the organization first before the briefing. It’s changed since you were agents here, but I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. [walking out of office] I wanted to have agents 78 and 24 show you around, but I haven’t seen them. I pacifically told them to be here before eight. [sees 66 come through the door] Oh, 66. I’d like you to meet Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart. They’ll be a part of your team on the missile case.
66: Nice to meet you both. I’ve heard a lot about you. I hear you’re very…..forgiving. [Max and 99 look
at each other]
Commander: 66, have you seen 78 and 24 this morning?
66: [hesitant] Ah….no…….I….I haven’t. In fact, I heard that….they….went on vacation.
Commander: They’re what! They didn’t have authorization to go on vacation.
66: You know maybe….maybe I’m a little off. I think this is what happened…..you see, they were out at
the Seedy Oyster and they were captured by KAOS. They were tortured and beaten for hours and hours until they finally made a daring and drastic escape and got home just a couple of minutes ago. I know because….they called.
Commander: Agent 66, that is the most PERPOSTERIOUS story I’ve ever heard!
66: It is?
66: Well, what part sounded out of place? Maybe I could change it around…
Commander: Agent 66! Now, I want you to find both Agents 78 and 24 and have them meet me in my office
in the next five minutes, is that understood?
66: yes, sir. [leaves]
Commander: [to Max and 99] I apologize for that. Agents 78, 24, and 66 are the hot new agents in CONTROL now. They’re the best agents in this business. I think you’ll enjoy working with them.
Max: I’m sure we’re looking forward to it.
As the Smarts and the Commander discuss certain parts of the case, 66 was downstairs in the firing range looking for the Smart twins. She found them in a booth and knocked. They opened the door and she walked in.
66: The Commander said that if I don’t find you and bring you back in the next five minutes, we’re
all going to die.
Maxine: He really said that?
66: No, but his tone and look said it for him. Come on, guys, it’s almost 9am now and we HAVE to go to
Maxine: Zach, she’s right. We can’t spend all day down here.
Zach: Watch me! I’m not leaving this room.
Zach: Nope. That’s quite all right. I don’t care what kind of thing the Commander will do to me, it’s
the thing Mom and Dad will do to me that might kill me.
Just then, the loud speaker sounded in their room for them to go to the Commander’s office.
Speaker: Agents 78, 24, and 66 to the Commander’s office. Repeat, 78, 24, and 66 please go to the Commander’s office. Urgent.
Max: Well, Zach. That’s the last call. Let’s just get it over with.
Zach: Yeah. Let’s go.
The trio go upstairs and are about to enter the Commander’s office, when Zach stops outside the door.
Maxine: Zach, why’d you stop?
Zach: I don’t know. A little scared maybe. There’s something about a disappointed look on your parent’s
face that’s a little….downing.
66: maybe I should go in first.
Zach: Yeah, that’s a good idea. That way you can give Mom and Dad a couple more compliments. [66 walks
Commander: 66, did you find 78 and 24?
66: Uh, yes. Yes….yes I did, sir, but…
Commander: [standing and walking towards the door] No buts. We’re already late for the briefing. [walks
99: [to 66] I think you can tell the twins they’re off the hook. [walks out with Max]
66: [nods, then realizes she knew] You knew? [follows]
Outside in the outer office:
Twins: They knew?
Max: [to twins] Of course, we knew. We’re spies. We know everything.
Zach: Dad….We can explain….
99: You’re going to have a lot to explain, Zachary. AFTER the briefing.
The team follow the Commander into the briefing room. The Commander turns to introduce everyone as they
Commander: Mr. and Mrs. Smart, I’d like you to meet Agents 78 and 24.
99: We’ve met. [sits down]
Commander: [seeing Parker come in] Parker, I’d like you to meet the Smarts.
Parker: How do you do. [sits]
Commander: [also sitting] 24…
Maxine: Oh yes, of course.
She gets up, turns the lights out, and a big projector is turned on. On the screen are various pictures.
Maxine: [with pointer] This here is the Air Force’s sonic aerial missile. It’s the most powerful weapon
the US has to date. It has the destructive power of blowing up a small country. This week, the missile was stolen by KAOS. What their plans are for its use is still unknown, but you have to believe that it isn’t good. [clicks to another slide] This man here is Conrad Sigfried, Jr. , the new head of KAOS. I don’t think I have to tell Ma…agents 86 and 99 who his father is. We believe he’s solely in charge for this plot. Zach knows the way Junior works.
Zach: Yes. In the year I’ve been here, I’ve had more run ins with Junior than I’d care to admit. He’s
just as cold and heartless as his father, but more devious, cunning, and deadly.
Maxine: [clicks to another slide] This is the Seedy Oyster Bar, a known KAOS front. We have reason to believe that KAOS is working out from there, but the location of their headquarters is still unknown.
Commander: 78, what was found about the case yesterday?
Zach: John Hobbs, the guy who corresponds from CONTROL to the White House, was murdered yesterday. He
was poisoned right after we arrived.
Commander: Parker, did you analyze the poison found from the glass?
Parker: Yes, sir. A standard KAOS poison. Kills within minutes of its digestion.
99: Was there any reason for Hobbs to be killed?
66: Hobbs was a double agent in CONTROL. When I found out, I phoned agent 78 with my findings. Hobbs
was telling us how KAOS managed to get the missile from the air force base. He had just told us that there was another KAOS agent in the midst of CONTROL, but just before he was to tell us the name, we found him dead.
Commander: Hmm. [to Max] What do you make of this, Smart?
Max: Well, sir, in order for Hobbs to be poisoned that day, he must’ve met with the killer the night
Zach: That means the double agent must have figured we were on to them and thought Hobbs was going
to sell out, so he put poisoned in his drink and when we came, Hobbs drink from the fatal glass.
Commander: We must find out who the other double agent is! [to Zach] Zach, I want you and 66 to do
a complete background check on ALL CONTROL agents. Then I want the two of you to go down and stake out the Seedy Oyster again. There must be something there.
Zach: [getting up] Yes, sir.
99: Zach… [Zach turns] be careful.
Zach: [smiles] I will.
Zach turns and bumps into the chair, falls over it, and falls to the ground. He gets back up, very calmly.
Zach: I’m fine. [walks towards the door] I’m fine. [leaves with 66]
Commander: Parker, see what kind of weapons will be helpful for this mission.
Parker: Right. [leaves]
Commander: I scheduled a meeting with the President. Do you think you could show the Smarts the rest of
the organization while I’m gone?
Maxine: Me? Oh…sure….I’ll….I’ll…
Max: We’ll be fine with Agent 24. [to Maxine] Won’t we?
Commander: Good. [walking out the briefing room followed by the Smarts] Make sure you stop by the lab
later today. [leaves]
Maxine: Well….[slightly speechless]…what do you guys want….to do?
99: [walking towards the hall, with Maxine] You’ve got a lot of explaining to do.
Scene switches to a long hallway, going towards the lab. Maxine is walking with her parents, trying to explain the last three days. The last year and three days.
Maxine: We were going to tell you, we really were. But how do you tell your parents you’re spies after
they’ve told you not to?
99: Maxine, it has to do with the whole idea of being a spy. Being a spy is a lot of hard work. You’re
in constant danger at every waking moment. Are you sure you can really handle that?
Maxine: [stopping] Mom, Zach and I’ve handled it pretty well for the last year. Really, you guys, I
can understand the concern, but Zach and I are good agents. We didn’t get to be the top two agents by being off our guard.
Max: Are you sure, I mean, ABSOLUTELY sure you and your brother want to do this?
Maxine: yes, Daddy. If we weren’t sure, we still wouldn’t be here.
99: There’s really nothing we can to do to change your mind, is there?
Maxine: [nods] Besides…now you get to work us. It’ll be fun.
Just then, Zach runs up to them. He’s slightly out of breath.
Maxine: What’s wrong?
Zach: I just thought of something when 66 and I were doing background checks. Come with me downstairs to check the records on all CONTROL agents.
Maxine: ALL CONTROL agents?
Zach: We’re not gonna check ALL the agents. Just two.