SETTING: CONTROL headquarters. Zach and Max were fully aware of how late they were when they walked into the Commander’s office later that day.
Commander: Well, it’s about time you got here! Sit down, this is of great importance. [Zach and Max sit down]
Max: What’s wrong, sir?
Commander: KAOS has struck and struck hard. I just received word that KAOS has stolen the sonic aerial
missile from an Air Force base not more than an hour ago.
Max: The sonic aerial missile? Commander, do you know what this means?
Zach: That the air force isn’t happy?
Commander: It’s more than that, Smart. That missile can virtually destroy a small country.
Max: With that missile in KAOS’ possession, the fate of the world as we know it could be altered forever!
Zach: Well that’s a hopeful sign.
Commander: The only hopeful sign we can expect, Smart, is that you and your team find that missile
and stop whatever plot KAOS has in mind.
Zach: You’ve got the best of the best in charge, sir.
Commander: I know and starting Wednesday, you will add two more members to your team for this case.
Max: Really. May I ask why?
Commander: The president and I both agree that this is a very dangerous case and KAOS might stoop to
any and every known trick in their arsenal. That’s why we’ve enlisted the help of two of the best agents CONTROL has ever seen.
The Commander didn’t have to say any more than that before Zach and Max knew who he was referring. If
their parents had excepted the case, as the twins figured they would have, they would find out about them being spies. After the initial shock wore off, the Commander told them to be at work promptly at 8am Wednesday morning to be introduced to the agents and then for the briefing and report at 9am. The twins walked out of the office, rather nervously, and ran into Agent 66. 66 was Max’s roommate in the apartment house where the twins lived.
66: [seeing the look on their faces] Hey guys, what’s up?
Zach: We’re getting outside help on this case.
66: Oh. Is that bad?
Max: Yes and no.
66: Yes and no?
Zach: The company’s calling in former agents 86 and 99.
66: hey, that’s great! I heard they were the best agents CONTROL ever had! [pauses] At least until we
Max: 86 and 99 are the agent numbers for Mr. and Mrs. Maxwell Smart.
66: So? They’re not….
Zach: Our parents? Yes they are.
66: [surprised] I forgot your parents are former CONTROL agents!
Zach: yeah, and WE’RE going to be former CONTROL agents when they find out we’re ACTIVE CONTROL agents.
Max: Zach! I almost forgot! We’re having lunch with Mom and Dad today!
Zach and Max quickly leave headquarters and head down to the Smarts’ favorite restaurant, Roberge’s. When the twins walk in, they see their parents already sitting at a table. They quickly hurry over and sit down in the two empty chairs.
Zach: Sorry ‘bout that. We got a little….[looks at his sister] caught up. So, what’s up?
99: [looking at Max] We’ve got something to tell you.
Maxine: Good. Cause we have something to tell you.
Zach: You first. [looks at Maxine]
Max: Your mother and I…..
Maxine: Oh no….Mom, you’re not….
Everyone looks at Maxine.
99: Maxine, I HIGHLY doubt that. [Zach picks up his water and starts drinking] Your father and I might
After 99’s announcement, Zach does a spit take and the water flies out of his mouth. He starts to cough,
still shocked by the announcement.
99: Zach! Are you alright?
Zach puts his head on the table and waves that he’s alright.
Maxine: [shocked] Gee….guys….that’s….that’s quite an announcement. Do you….know, um….what organization you’ll…be working…for?
Max: Well, Max, that’s really classified. But I’ll give you a hint. Have you ever heard of [looks around] the CONTROL Spy Network? CSN for short.
Maxine: Oh, Dad, not there!
Maxine: you don’t wanna work for them. Horrible place! They kill unskilled workers.
Zach: [coughing] She’s right. Terrible pay, horrible people work there, and their funeral plan…HA! Don’t even get me started on that!
Maxine: Maybe you can get reactivated by ANOTHER spy organization. Cause you….you don’t want to work there.
99: How do you that?
The twins pause for a moment and try to think of something to say.
Zach: How….how do we….do we know that?[looks from both Max and 99] Every…everybody knows that. Just…just
a horrible place. May…maybe the…CIA is reactivating agents.
Maxine: Right! Maybe you should try there.
99: Guys…is something wrong?
Zach & Maxine: [rather quickly] No.
At that moment, Zach’s shoe-phone started to beep. The twins, hearing the beeps, tried to act as though they didn’t hear anything. This behavior starts to make Max and 99 suspicious.
Zach: [picking up menu] So, what do we want to eat?
99: What’s that noise?
Maxine: [looking at menu] What noise?
Max: [as beeping continues] THAT noise.
Zach: [looks up from menu] Oh…you….you hear it too? I’ve….no idea what that is. Maybe….maybe it’s coming from outside. [looks back at menu]
99: Zach, that beeping is DEFINITELY coming from this table.
Zach: [beeping stops] See? There, it stopped. It was nothing. [absorbed in menu] My, look at all the…food…on the menu.
Max: [looks at 99] What was it you wanted to tell us, Max?
Maxine: [looks up from menu] I was going to tell you something?
Max: Yes! You said you and Zach had something to tell us.
Maxine: Did I? I clearly don’t remember making that statement.
99: Maxine, you did too. Are you both sure nothing’s wrong?
Zach: Oh, Mom. We’re fine. [turns] Waiter. [to 99] I mean, what makes you think….Waiter. [to 99] That something is wrong. Waiter! [turns and sees a waiter next to him] Oh you heard me, huh?
Waiter: Would you like to order, sir?
Zach: Oh…[laughs a little] you have….no idea. Um….to start, maybe a shrimp cocktail, some breadsticks, a side salad….[looks at Max and 99] maybe some ham….um, Maxine, would you like something?
Maxine: No, I’m not really hungry. [Zach kicks her under the table][in pain] I guess….I…I could have something.[rubs her leg]
Waiter: What would you like?
Maxine: Maybe some Ice Tea [another kick] and some breadsticks[a harder kick][in lots of pain] I’ll have what he’s having!
Waiter: Will that be all, sir?
Zach: No! Um…and I would also like the duck a la orange….with…with a Caesar salad and…and [looks at parents] You know, Mom, Dad, if….if you would…would like something….
99: [to waiter] could you come back in a minute? [to Zach] Zach, are you SURE nothing’s wrong?
Zach: Yeah….I mean….I mean no. Nothing’s wrong.
Max: Look, if you guys don’t us to do this….
Maxine: No, Daddy. Zach and I….We want you to do this. We really….really do.
99: We don’t have to if you don’t want us to. Being a spy is a lot of hard work….
Twins: We know. [look from 99]
Zach: [realizing what they just said] I mean…that is to say…we UNDERSTAND…..that is the psyche…..I mean…..[calms] be….being the children of…of spies…you….you know.
Maxine: What Zachary means…is that, we want you to do this because we know you want to and…and whatever
makes you happy.
Max: Are you sure?
Zach: [calmer] We’re sure, Dad.
99: Look, why don’t the two of you come over for dinner tonight? We’ll have a nice talk. Okay? [starts
to get up]
Maxine: Yeah. 7pm?
Max: [getting up himself] Sure. See you tonight. [leaves with 99]
Maxine: Tonight, Zach. We’ll tell them tonight.